Here I go, being vain again

I was asked to write about what sport I would like to have the skills to play professionally and it left me a bit confused. I mean, who doesn't consider baton twirling a professional sport? CERTAINLY NOT ME since I have been a bona fide professional since 4th grade, thankyouverymuch. (Really, the nerve of some people! Acting as if I didn't get paid to wow the world with my spins and flips and twirls and tosses! Wait, I haven't picked up a baton is ages. And never once did I get paid to prance around in a bathing suit-esque uniform with my knee high boots. Crap.)

Moving on the *ahem* real sports, I think I'd like to go with... water skiing. Honestly I have no idea if you consider such a professional sport, but I figure that someone, somewhere gets paid to have a killer bod that is warmed by the sun and to play in the water, right? (Something about human pyramids and crack pot stunt skiers is coming to mind, but nevermind.) I want that finely muscled, well tanned, water bunny to be ME. And I'd like to make lots and lots of cash. Can somebody work that out for me? I've been water skiing a handful of times and I wasn't bad at all! I only recall a few runs ending with my arms and legs with the rigidity of limp noodle, and only once did I catapault, cartwheel, skid and slide before losing the bottom of my suit and getting examined in a very personal way by the water. Only once!

If you, for whatever reason, don't consider water skiing a professional sport then I'll choose baseball, just to please you. Really, there are only two reasons that I would choose baseball (not softball, kids, I mean baseball) as my top sport: 1) there is no hope of me ever developing the skills to play on my own and 2) I would be really popular with the boys. GOOD HEAVENS, DOES MY VANITY EVER END?!

Just in case you aren't disgusted with me already, I'll throw in a link to this post where I toot my own horn regarding miscellaneous skills that I have. And this one where I dream about a skill I'd like to have (read: vanity too - what is wrong with me?).