Megan's the Name, Fun is My Game

You've never seen a super hero like me.

Check out the totally kick ass super hero that I would be: FUN GIRL! Not that she's so kick ass by kicking ass. No, she rocks by being an ambassador of good times and a banisher of boredom. Or shitty situations, whichever you find yourself in the midst of.

Fun Girl is most definitely a blond because, hello, blonds have more fun! (Consequently, I feel that I must end every sentence with an exclamation point!) Her mouth is slightly open, showcasing the epitome of good time indicators, the smile/laugh/'woo hoo!' yell. Only slightly better would be one arm, or both, raised in the air much like raising your drink at a concert or in true defiance on a roller coaster.

Fun Girl is outfitted in such a way that she can blast into any situation and be the 'it' girl, the one that everyone else wants to follow. This is the premise behind FG, that people will do whatever she instructs, thus bringing about fun and games.

Surely heels, a micro mini and super tight top would make people stand up and listen? If not, Fun Girl's huge melons can act as a focal point (because who can't look at those?) while her superhero cape clip zaps them into submission. Speaking of capes, hell yeah she's got a cape! Flier or not, capes are cool.

FG is armed with wrist guards which she uses to deflect the down and dreary feelings and situations. Lame-o parties, working long hours and rainy days stuck indoors can all have the blahs banished by the powerful wrist guards. Funerals? Not so much, so don't even try.

Slung low around her waist, Fun Girl wears a belt of weapons. A shot glass, musical note and candy are included in her arsenal. Studies show that alcohol and tunes can turn just about any adult function into one to write home about. For those times that alcohol would be frowned upon, FG is prepared with a sweet treat: Fun Dip! Damn, this chick is fun!

Evidence of her work:

Thelma from Sioux Falls said "Last week I was at the church bazaar and it was a real snoozer. But then here comes this girl with enormous breasts and she starts handing out little drinks and telling people what to do. Next thing you know Barney is riding the broom around like a horse and I have my top off. Needless to say, we raised $300 that day. Thanks Fun Girl!"

Leo, from the local juke joint, had a similar experience. "Well there I was, holding down a bar stool at Smokey Joe's, right after I got fired from the urinal cake factory and feeling pretty low, when this hot little number shows up. I was looking her square in the 'southern eyes' when I start to hear 'Achy Breaky Heart' and feel like I have to go line dance or I will explode. Right there on the dance floor next to me, shaking her tush was the mulletted beauty I've been looking for all my life. We now have 15 kids, live in a trailer house and line dance in the back yard. You somethin' else, girl with the boobs, whoever you are."

Just think, I could be adored by the likes of Thelma and Leo! Hells yeah. I'm all over it.