shot of sass, served on (n)ice

Monday, November 3, 2008

Well On My Way To Making The Bar FUBAR

Well, kids, since this week you are at the mercy of our whims and desires as to what we are serving up, I thought I would get us started with a bang. Last week I showed you how perfectly capable I am of tossing out bits of random information so you will nary be surprised once you lay your eyes upon my crock pot o' whatever's in the freezer of my brain:

*Since two of my co-workers celebrated birthdays last week, I was a snack making fool. (We don't turn down any viable reason to celebrate with tasty treats, you see.) I used four recipes from my arsenal, three of which came from All Recipes, my very best go-to site for cooking inspiration.

The recipes, possibly with my slight variation:

Mini Cheesecakes
  • 1 (12 ounce) package vanilla wafers
  • 2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese ROOM TEMPERATURE
  • 3/4 cup white sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 (21 ounce) can cherry pie filling
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Line miniature muffin tins (tassie pans) with miniature paper liners.
  2. Crush the vanilla wafers, and place 1/2 teaspoon of the crushed vanilla wafers into each paper cup. OR you can leave them whole and place on wafer, flat side down, in each cup.
  3. In a mixing bowl, beat cream cheese, sugar, eggs and vanilla until light and fluffy. Fill each miniature muffin liner with this mixture, almost to the top.
  4. Bake for 15 minutes. Cool. Top with a teaspoonful of cherry pie filling.

Dill Dip
  • 1 and 1/3 cup mayonnaise
  • 2/3 cup sour cream
  • 1 and 1/2 teaspoon dried parsley
  • 2 Tablespoons grated onion
  • 1 and 1/2 Tablespoons dried dill weed
  • 3/4 teaspoon seasoning salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon garlic salt
Combine all ingredients and mix well. Let flavors blend overnight. Serve with veggies, chips or with bread (beer bread or Hawaiian sweet bread bowl).

Bacon Wrapped Li'l Smokies
(Omg, how can you beat bacon wrapped anything, let alone Li'l Smokies?!)
  • 1 pound sliced bacon, cut in half
  • 1 (14 ounce) package beef cocktail wieners
  • 1 cup brown sugar, or to taste
  1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).
  2. Wrap each cocktail wiener with a piece of bacon and secure with a toothpick. Place on a large baking sheet. Sprinkle brown sugar generously over all.
  3. Bake for 40 minutes in the preheated oven, until the sugar is bubbly. To serve, place the wieners in a slow cooker and keep on the low setting.

The other recipe that didn't come from All Recipes, well, that's the gold standard, wow 'em every time, make you sweat butter just by looking at them But Oh Are They Worth It:

Caramel Bars

1 stick plus 5T butter, melted
1 and 1/4 C self rising flour
1 and 1/4 C oatmeal
1 C brown sugar
3T butter
1 (14 oz) bag of caramels
3T milk
1 C semi sweet chocolate chips, if desired
chopped pecans, if desired

Mix first six ingredients and pat 2/3 of the mixture into a 9x13 pan and bake 10 minutes at 350. You may try to not eat any of the remaining 1/3 mix, but you can't. So don't bother.

Combine caramels with 3T of butter and 3T milk and melt in the microwave, stirring occasionally until smooth (mine took 2 1/2 minutes).

Pour caramel over baked crust. Mix chocolate chips or pecans, if desired, with remainder of oatmeal mixture and sprinkle on top of caramel. Bake 15 minutes at 350. Let cool to form bars or just eat with a fork if you are as impatient as me.

* I'm still using the lamper and experiencing that feel good moment when I take all of the recycling to the collection center. One of the bags in the lamper has been devoted solely to beer bottles and Diet Coke cans. CLEARLY I HAVE A PROBLEM.

* Friday night I got Trick or Treated standing by my vehicle in my friend's driveway. Lazy kids, don't even want to go to the door anymore! I could hardly hide the contempt on my face as I looked at those little 15 year old shits and told them I don't have anything, you've got to go to the door. I thought of you, Bj, wishing my friend would hand out parmesan cheese and soy sauce packs like you do to the ones that are too old!

* I watched a little football this weekend. And that's all I want to say about that. (Except for Yea to Sheila and her Red Raiders!)

* Time change positive: An extra hour. Time change negative: It's Too Damn Dark Too Damn Early. I'm pretty sure it could stay light until 9 o'clock all year long and that would be okay with me.

* I plan on going to vote early today and keeping that I Voted sticker near and dear until Tuesday when I will slap that puppy on my chest first thing. If we have anything good on our sticker, like Andi's Georgia Peach, I'll be sure to report back. But I'm pretty sure not.

* Still having trouble with the internet at home. It's a leetle bit scary how much I go through withdrawal without it... especially over the weekend when I can't check email for two days! I know, the horror, right?!

* Since I didn't have the internet to goof off with, I decided that it was high time I took a look into the grey hair situation at the top of my head. I immediately found three hairs, which I plucked, and then stopped. I'd rather be a old grey head than an old bald head (which I surely would be if I carried on). Made a mental note to call the salon so that I can get this shiz covered up, pronto.

* Ahem. Bj has divulged some very interesting information regarding some readers that we may have that don't comment. Belle, Trish and Sunny, are you there? Because we'll pretty much do all sorts of party tricks to get comments. Or at least I will. Speak up ladies! What's the price I have to pay to get your comment love? If you think this sounds a bit like comment whoring, you would be absolutely correct.

And there you have it. My contribution to to WTFever Week. But don't think I'm done, ooooh no. I'm pretty sure I have yet to make good on a promise to display a certain photo of myself apres first kiss in all of my sixth grader glory. Fabulous!

10 tips left at the bar:

Smilf said...

I pretty much adore randomness so this is good. LOL And I'm with you on the time change. Love the extra hour of sleep but being dark when I get home from work?! Um, no thank you!

sheila said...

The "fall back' time change is referred to by one friend as their Family Holiday. C'mon, who doesn't LOVE to sleep?

And I did not want to toot my own horn today -- although I am SO FIRED UP that my Red Raiders are #2 in the BCS!!! I never thought I'd see it in my lifetime!!! BJ even sent me a text after the game that she loved my football team - and she's an OU Sooner.

But the main reason I didn't want to gloat was because I was so sad after watching the UGA game. What on earth happened?! So, so sorry!!

In honor of the big game, my neighbor made the world's best cake this weekend. It's called Better Than Sex cake, and while it's not better than, it a close second. And it's not the one with pudding & cookie crumbles. I'll get the recipe & pass it on to Megan if anyone wants it. It is awesome, and I'm not even a cake girl.

BTW-those weenies sound delish!

niki said...

I thought "Dill Dip" said "dildo."

Sheesh. What is my problem tonight? Oh wait, I know. Nevermind.

Bj in Dallas said...

Megan! I love WTF days and posts- may have to do one myself very soon and get my freezer cleaned out...I come up with VERY random thoughts usually while scooping poop-
I'll send the voyeurs (Trish, Belle, Sunny) your link and see if we can SHAME them into commenting...offer booze, thats how we roll..
Yes, I told Sheila I loved her team but she failed to realize it was ONLY because they beat those damn Texas Longhorns who could not be any more obnoxious- slightly just behind LSU fans-
Sorry about your boys, but you knew Florida was still PISSED off about last year, and I'm going to make your weenies for the OU-Texas Tech game and call them Red Raider Weenies!! Then when we win, I'll bake the Better Than Sex cake because it will be just that!!
what the hell is a lamper...

Bj in Dallas said...

Niki
had to share this...there is a street I go by in Dallas called DILIDO- pronounced da-lee-do but everyone calls it the Dildo street
kind of like Dill Dip

niki said...

Bj, thank you for clarifying my new goal in life: to live on Dilido street.

penelope said...

Does the Dildo Dip go well celery? If so, I'll be making it fo' sho. Except I won't call it Dildo Dip because wow, I just got an *image* in my head.

Megs, WTF is up with this home Internet issue? It's really not acceptable.

Lastly, if you wear your "I Voted" sticker tomorrow, Starbucks will give you a free coffee and Krispy Kreme a free patriotic donut. I wonder if my sticker from last Wednesday has any stick left to it...

niki said...

Also, if you bring your voting sticker to this sex store in Seattle or New York, you won't get a free dildo, but you will get a free vibrator or penis sleeve. http://perezhilton.com/2008-11-03-the-best-voting-gift-of-all

Sorry. I just had to bring the penis sleeve full circle. Yes, I have been drinking. Don't judge!

penelope said...

Clearly the perfect segue was provided!

Hey, is the whole "Maverick" thing alluding to McCain? And if so, what would be the message... I'll make that question rhetorical.

Megan said...

I leave for a night and come back to all of this goodness! Wow, girls, y'all crack me up!

Bj, Dilido Street has GOT to be one of the best things I have ever heard. You crazy Texans!

Nik, I DID post about weenies and dill dip, but leave it to you to bring us to dildos. That's my girl!

Pen, I have never had DD with celery, but it is so good that I think I would eat just about anything dipped in it. And yes, the home internets issue is about to drive me insane! Just look at all of this wonderfulness that I could have been participating in!! AAGH!