shot of sass, served on (n)ice

Thursday, August 28, 2008

As If You Didn't Know I Was Trashy

I'm going to admit that I just might be the very last person on the face of the earth who has been so trashy as of late. Yes, I'm a little beer drinking, trailer living trashy, but more than that I've been trashy trashy.

I have not been recycling, y'all. AT ALL.

I am so ashamed.

I've been lazy, yes, but mostly we blamed our lack of recycling on the fact that we have no room (see: trailer living) and the fact that you have to take all of your materials to the recycling center instead of getting them picked up curbside.

Turns out, I didn't really have a trashy leg to stand on. Once we started feeding Ashley jarred food, and I kept throwing those jars in the trash, I realized that there is no good excuse for this blatant disregard of landfill woes. So I started collecting glass jars and they got parked on the shelf right next to the big stack of paper grocery bags and newspapers that we have been collecting for, oh, ever.

The jar collection goes on for a while, right up until the shelf that had been bearing the weight of all those bags and papers and jars fell down ON ME one night as I was doing laundry. Time to haul my tail to the recycle center as now I had nowhere else to put the gigantic stack o' stuff. And you know what? I stop by the center one Saturday morning and see dozens of people there too, all carrying in their goodies and sorting, and I am in awe. And feeling pretty damn proud of myself.

I WANT TO FEEL THIS GOOD EVERY DAY! I say.

So here I am, after a trip to Target, with my lamper. Yes, it's called a lamper, half hamper, half laundry basket, I kid you not. (My lamper makes me think of Napoleon Dynamite and the liger, which I happen to know that Pen gets a kick out of. Maybe she needs a lamper to laugh at too?) It doesn't take up much room at all, and fits two paper bags perfectly. And now I'm saving and sorting and planning for all kinds of stuff! Yeah, I'll probably have to take it each week, but that's okay. I've got this warm fuzzy feeling from it all, and it's not just from the beer.


Perfect little lamper.


This is just a few days worth of plastic, aluminum, glass, cardboard and paper. Damn we were throwing away a bunch of recyclables! (The glass, newspaper and bags are back up on the shelf that my loving husband put back up, but no worries, the paper bags won't weigh it down again because we are taking cloth bags to the grocery store for our groceries. Look at me! I'm so responsible taking my beer and baby food home in a cloth bag!)

If you currently are as trashy as I was, take my advice: YOU CAN RECYCLE TOO! Get yourself a lamper, laugh at the likeness to a liger and feel that lovely fuzzy feeling like me! And then have a drink from a recyclable glass container that you can place in your lamper. Like me!

7 tips left at the bar:

Anonymous said...

I have never recycled and now you have shamed me!

mendacious said...

i love the idea of a lamper! we need one for sure.

Anonymous said...

How funny. I am an avid recycler, but only because I have curbside service. Kudos to you for driving to do it...If I were in that situation it would definitely become something I did not do, but say I did. You can be Trashy and I'll be a liar.

penelope said...

I'm completely entertained by the lamper! And my laundry basket has a big ol' hole in it, so this may just work out perfectly! Good for you, making the effort to recycle. We too have to take ours to a center, and it's a giant pain in the ass (for J.Lo, anyway--he's in charge), but I feel icky otherwise.

Anonymous said...

OK, I recycle & I am a bit obsessive about it. I recycle everything I can. I used to drive to drop it all off, but the city (Dallas) finally gave us big blue bins & I don't even have to sort anymore -- yippee!!

But over the weekend, I was in oil country (West Texas) staying with friends. I sorta freaked for a minute when I asked about where to put the recycling & she told me they don't b/c there is no pick up. So bottles, cans, paper, plastic were all going to the landfill. I wanted to pack some in my suitcase & bring it home! I felt awful about it.

I love the lamper - I may have to steal that idea for the kitchen!

Ruby said...

Molly, I'm sure this will not be the last time I shame you. Now get yourself a lamper like Mendacious, Pen and Sheila!

Sheila, I think people were feeling the same way when they came to visit us. Maybe even break out in hives. I love that you wanted to put the things in your suitcase, that makes me laugh!

Long live the lamper!

Anonymous said...

Just because you told me to, I'm not going to do it*sticks tongue out*.

In fact, I am going to buy as many things in plastic and glass containers and throw the contents down the sink and then throw the plastic and glass in the trash!

Was that thud all the acorn gatherers fainting?