Just Call Me a Hater

Smartini Bar
Somewhere in the Blogosphere

7/14/08


Dear Taylor Swift,

You are starting to bug the shit out of me.

I know, you are super cute and have a lovely voice with which you sing songs that I can't, for the effing LIFE OF ME, not sing along with. I mean hell, I work with a girl that looks a lot like you and I like her a whole bunch, so I really, really want to like you too, by association and all. And your songs make me listen to them, despite the voice in my head that's all 'CHANGE THE STATION THIS INSTANT!' because that voice knows that I'm not really a fan, just a person who likes to punish herself by wallowing in her ire.

The punishment is two-fold, as it were, because you have songs out on the country and pop stations, both of which I listen to. And I must say that when I hear 'Teardrops on My Guitar' on an effing POP station, which it is so clearly not, it makes me rather ill at the selling out that's happening to my beloved country music. Perhaps you are just the sellout du jour, TayTay, but then there's a part of me that realizes that it goes further, much further than that.

In an effort to show my husband just how much you look like the girl at work, I pulled up your MySapce. And in doing that I couldn't help but poke around a little and what did I find, but a blatant advertisement that you are, in fact, merely 18 years old, and subsequently behave like a 18 year old. I'm really trying not to hate on you for this particular grievance, because hey, we were all immature in our younger days, but holy shit could you please NOT write stupid shit like this?

"... I really love people who like my music.

They're number 1 on my favorite things list.

I'm not a big deal. At all.

I love people who are nice to me, I've never been one to say things like "All you people think you know me, well you don't".

Because I'm not that complicated..."

(A little humility, Taylor, would be nice, and not that fake bullshit that you are trying to pass off as such.)

I suppose it was the 'I'm just barely legal' thing that caused you to do this at the Academy of Country Music Awards?




I'm sorry, I cannot give you a free pass on this. This was moronic behavior for which I am at a loss about. Getting soaked in front of a whole room full of country music stars sounded like a good idea, did it? And then obviously trying to hide your 'it's cold in here y'all' pencil erasers. What in the HELL were you thinking? Despite the fact that it happens in many a honky tonk across the country, wet T-shirt contests are neither hip nor classy. Surely you wouldn't have participated in such an act purely for the attention, would you? No, you sure wouldn't, because you're 'not a big deal. At all.' Riiight.

Here's what I'm going to need to happen, Tay: You, my dear, are going to go ahead and make the switch on over to full blown pop. And I'm going to change the channel the next time one of your songs comes on the radio, no matter how hard it is, and my inner voice and I will have a little celebration for our victory.

At least that way I will have to ignore your catchy beats and mind penetrating lyrics on only one station.

Sitting here in my dry T-shirt,
Megan