4 Score 10:00 AM

4 places you’ve lived: Vestal, NY; Raleigh, NC; Chicago, IL; Wilmington, NC

4 jobs you’ve had: ice cream scooper, writing consultant, customer service rep, mama

4 cars you’ve had: 1997 Mazda Protege, 2003 Honda Civic. That’s it!

4 websites you’d be lost without: google, amazon, blogger, BBC News Americas

4 foods you love: dark chocolate, NY style pizza, brie and bread, spinach dip

4 role models or people that have influenced you: my mom, J.Lo, mendacious, my pal Jamie

4 events in your life that have shaped you: moving South, grad school, some of the former a-holes I’ve dated, motherhood

4 drinks you order: rum and coke, pinot grigio, water, sweet tea

4 movies you could watch again and again: You’ve Got Mail, About a Boy, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club

4 things that comfort you/bring you comfort: chocolate, movies, emailing good pals, J/K/N.Lo hugs

4some 6:37 AM

4 places I've lived: Augusta, GA; Savannah, GA; Rome, GA; Woodstock, GA

4 jobs I've had: Taekwondo instructor; housekeeping (dorms in college, ick!) giving tours of campus in college, Project Director for virtual reality marketing research company

4 cars I've had: '86 Chrysler (it talked! "a door is ajar"), '93 Honda Civic (lease, I cried when we had to turn it back in. My dad expected to be able to roll it over into a new lease, but they weren't negotiating, so we walked away), '98 Mitsubishi Montero Sport (the lease ending worked out eventually), '03 GMC Yukon

4 foods I love: sweets, peanut butter, Boston Market sweet potatoes, french fries

4 drinks I order: wine, Long Island Iced Tea (best bang for the buck), margaritas, I don't usually order out, but prefer to BYO - especially not being beer drinkers, we were well known to have a cooler with us at all times.

4 web sites I'd be lost without: Blogger, Dictionary.com, Google Maps (literally, ha!), Snapfish.

4 role models or people that have influenced me: High school Latin teacher, Taekwondo Instructor, Marketing Professor in college, Hubby

4 events in your life that have shaped you: attending and graduating college, getting married, the births of my children

4 movies I could watch again and again: Ever After, Good Will Hunting, Dirty Dancing, Notting Hill

4 Things that give me comfort: Hugs, white noise and blankets to sleep, being at the lake, pictures

Job Hunting B&A 2:23 PM

BEFORE the career fair: jobless.

AFTER the career fair: jobless. Not that I expect to walk out of a Career fair with a job, but more importantly it's due to a minor detail: it's actually not until NEXT Wednesday. So, I printed out my resumes, dusted off my suits (literally!) wore tight shoes, put on makeup, filled up with gas and drove down to the event. . a week early. And now I've got my button on my pants undone, my shoes kicked off, my knee highs have slouched and are bunching ankle low, my hair is tousled and my makeup worn off. It really is a different sight to behold from the confident woman that left her house this morning.

If I had a bazillion dollars, I'd be rich. 7:00 AM

When I was a little kid, I wanted to be an artist when I grew up. I have the picture to prove it. Here's my age 5 thumbprint, stamped at one of those church bazaar booths where the artist made it into a little mouse of my own choosing. An artist. And I guess in a way, I kind of am, what with that m.f.A. degree and all. Do I use the degree? Sure. I write every day, you see it here, and here, and here. No, I didn't put myself thousands (and thousands) of dollars in debt so I could BLOG, for heaven's sake, a completely free and unpaid endeavor. But no one can say I'm not writing.


Here's what I'm also doing: I'm a stay-at-home mom. Also unpaid. Did I dream of being a mom when I grew up? I can't say that I did. I didn't rule it out as a possibility, but every time I imagined getting the things out of me, I paused. Not to mention what I would do with them once they got here. It all seemed rather impossible, but here I am, with two. And I wouldn't trade that part of my life, that job of being a stay-at-home mom, regardless.



If I could choose any job, money being no object, I would be a full-time philanthroper. So actually, money would be key, because I would need giant heaps and piles of it to do what I want to do. Say I were given a ton of it, like tomorrow. I won the lottery or something, the bazillion-dollar jackpot. I'd pay off all our debts, pay off the debts of a few close friends, maybe buy a bigger, but still modest house in the mountains of NC, and there we would live, where I would work fielding requests for fundage. People would write me letters, fill me in on their situation, and I'd decide who to send it to. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.


I wouldn't want to be famous for it. In fact, if I were famous for it, that would probably make my job a whole lot more complicated. With this job, I'd have to have my Personal Spam Filters set to the max. And I can be a bit... not necessarily naive, but overly forgiving at times. I might have to work on that. Probably hire a damn good accountant as well. But all of these issues are neither here nor there, because the answer to this question lies in Pipe Dream Land, and in Pipe Dream Land, no scheming, conniving con-artists are going to try and take advantage of my giving nature and sully my view toward humanity. Just, if someone needs a hand, I'll be there to lend it.



I got this idea, I swear, from an episode of The Rosie O'Donnell show that aired sometime while I was in college, I couldn't tell you exactly when. She had a guest on there, an older gentleman whose name I couldn't tell you, either, and he had a lot of money and this is what he did with his time. People wrote him letters, and he read through them and decided if and in what way he could help them out. Like say a woman needed bus fare to get to her job everyday, and really couldn't afford it, it was cutting into her pay where she really wished it didn't, because she had children to support. This guy, let's call him Philanthroper Man, read her letter, listened to her story, and then sent her a letter back with a check to cover exactly one year's worth of bus fares. No more, no less. And maybe it wouldn't completely change her life, like he wasn't awarding her with an Extreme Home Makeover, a trip to Disney World, and Ty Pennington on her dilapidated doorstep. But she could get to work for a good stretch of time and not worry about it. Maybe she could even get a leg up by the end of that year, money-wise, and not have to worry about bus fare for the year after that. And in that little way, by addressing an everyday, concrete need, Philanthroper Man made a difference, helped someone out.



I tried googling the once-upon-a-time, nameless philanthropic guest of Rosie, but I couldn't find him. To the point where for a moment I thought I might have been making it all up. But then it occurred to me that (if he does exist), then he should be un-google-able. I would want to be un-google-able, too, if it were me, living out this daydream. I don't know how people would find me, but I think they would, if they needed to. They'd hear about my project through the grapevine, mail their story to my PO Box somewhere in the mountains of NC, and let me know what I could do to make their life a little easier and help them out.

Hard times call for Hard Liquor (but maybe not premium Top Shelf) 2:50 PM

Yet another job-related article/list I read. This one was rather depressing to me reflecting our struggling economy (and the vicious cycle of layoffs and job loss and hard times, resulting in penny pinching and then companies struggling because of the decreased spending and making cuts which further perpetuates the problem), but just a warning about choosing one of these companies for your dream job. . .

I'm a model, ya know what I mean...and I do my little turn on the catwalk... 10:10 AM

If you had a limitless supply of income, resources, and time, and current obligations and/or obstacles were not a factor - what would be your dream job? In other words, in a perfect world, what would you want to do with your day, and why?

"You are eight feet tall. Your boobs are perfect. Your hair is down to there. If I was you I would just walk around naked all the time. I wouldn't have a job, I wouldn't have any skills, I wouldn't even know how to read. I would just be...naked." - Cristina Yang to Izzie Stevens, Grey's Anatomy, Season One

My secret job dream: Supermodel.

You can stop laughing now. Really.

I know, I know - I am just over 5 feet, 5 inches tall. I weigh about 40 pounds more than I should if I'm to be a model. And, let's not forget: I am a total and complete klutz.

So, yeah, realistically - this is a BAD idea. But I can't help it. The photo shoots, the glamour, the red carpet. Tom effing Brady as arm candy.

I know that models always say, "oh, it's not as glamourous as it looks; it's cut-throat, it's demeaning, blah blah blah." Look, you tiny little twig of a person, you get paid gobs of money to walk around in haute couture. All day. You get your pick of samples of Gucci, Louboutin, Dior, Chanel, and Valentino. You get to hang out at Fashion Week in New York and Paris and have your pick of whatever hot-right-now dress you want.

[Disclaimer: I know that there's a message these models are sending - that too-thin is a good thing. That 4 is the new 6, that 2 is the new 4. And yes, I know that not only do I not fall into these sizing categories - but also, it's a bad message to send to our young girls. But this is FANTASY. Thus ends the disclaimer.]

Of course, if I looked like Heidi Klum or Gisele, I would use my devastatingly good looks for good, not evil. I'd start a charity to help high-risk youth in inner cities, I'd start a no-kill animal shelter and work to get our pet population under control. I'd travel to Africa to build schools and hospitals. I'd be the Earth Mother of all hot models.

Of course, in reality, I'd look a little more like Carrie at :36 -


"Oh my God, she's fashion roadkill!"

A to Z 1:47 PM

Perhaps I should have consulted this list before answering my Weekly Special. Maybe it will inspire the three ladies that have yet to post this week.

More mixed drinks 12:31 AM

What would you be if you could be anything (and didn't have to worry about constraints like money, time, skills, etc.); what did you want to be growing up?



I've struggled with this Week's Special for some reason. I can't remember a strong desire to do something from my childhood; how sad is that? I feel like I lack passion and conviction, but honestly, I'm fairly happy doing what I do. I kind of stumbled into my job and it really suits me. I clearly remember floundering a lot trying to make a decision in college (how do you figure out what you want to do everyday for the rest of your life?) but, somehow it lead me here and I like my job - both of them. I wouldn't want to have to do either one more than I do. I think I have a good balance of getting out of the house, maintaining my sanity and feeling like I contribute (sure it's not glamorous, but I genuinely like what we do and how we do it) and having enough time to devote to my kids (sure, there's always the desire for more time and the guilt that I don't do enough by them, but overall, I feel balanced.) I just filled out a questionnaire for something and one of the questions on it was "what did you want to be when you grew up?" just like this week's special and I realized what I've always wanted was simple: to be a wife, a mom and happy. So, I've fulfilled that criteria and am pretty settled. I'm not good with change and vicious, cut-throat competition or corporate life. I like comfort and stability. I'm fortunate enough that my job is not so demanding or constricting that I get miserable. But, I am also glad not to stay home all day with the kids - I really like what the day care offers my kids (routine, schedules, learning, socialization) and I like what I get from my work (adult interaction, brain function utilization, but with the flexibility of still having a life and supporting a family.) [not to say SAHM don't use their brains daily!!]

Pretty lame, right? But, it's really not that I have this Utopian life; I'm just comfortable and don't have the motivation to put forth the effort to choose a different path - even in my fantasy world!

But, here's a taste of some of the things I had been thinking, but just didn't seem to measure up or really ignite any fire inside (I seemed to have a voice inside me that piped up with negatives for everything!) before I came to the realization that I was struggling because I was trying to come up with something different than what I have already:


I thought I'd want to possibly sing or do something musical - that's always been a skill I admired in others and desired for myself. But, after reading Ashley's awesome post and experiencing her raw emotions and deep-seated passion, I feel my wimpy, "yeah, I wish I could do 'something musical'" definitely pales in comparison and seems feeble and unworthy. Plus, I don't really want all the fame and traveling and touring that comes with it. Ashley has been in theatre and knows the rush of being on stage, but I shy away from the spotlight, big time! I've been signing my name over 700 times the past few days on a mass mailing we are sending out, so I'm quite content not to have to sign autographs on a regular basis!

It would be great to be a writer. If I could write, that is. But, the pressures of having to write and meet deadlines and constantly be critiqued would not be so great.


I always contemplated going into the medical field as well. A lot of work, a lot of hours, a lot of blood and yuckiness.


Many people have thought I'd end up teaching, and I've considered it. I've even thought about how, if I lost my job somehow, I'd probably apply at the day care right away. I think I'd enjoy it and be good at it and really take an interest in the kids, but again, I'd want to selfishly be spending that time with my own kids! And not use up my precious store of patience on someone else's child!


It'd be great to be an artist - maybe even a kid's artist and have my stuff sell in like Pottery Barn where I'd definitely be turning a profit, but someone more obscure and unique as well! There's more anonymity in that profession that the rock star route.


I love pictures and photography would definitely be something I'd love to know more about and be more skilled at and could see myself wanting to make something out of that interest.


There was a time, during and right out of college before I went into the "real world" and had to have a "real job" for the rest of my life, I really wanted to be a waitress or bartender (not that these aren't "real jobs" they just weren't what I was going to school to do, so they weren't in my chosen path), just to have had the experience of dealing with people like that and it felt like a rite of passage or something that so many people have gone through that I hadn't.

Once again, perhaps I should just desire to grow up and be able to make a damn decision. Enjoy your mixed drinks, with a splash of this thought and a dash of that run-on sentence, served up weekly by your friendly, but ever indecisive bartender.