Answers in Pictorial Form 9:47 PM

a. Got a hickey from the hot tub





b. Threw up – Poor Ruby, ok, no pictures for this one. you’re welcome.

c. "Mine are pancake-ish. Just wait until I take my bra off, it's true."

d. "These mother f*ing shoes are BAD ASS!" – Penelope defending her Doc Martens.

e. "You and your f*ing hippie ideas" – Pen cursing Niki’s suggestion to climb a rock for a group photo.

f. “The darker the chocolate, the worser it is.” – Niki on dogs eating chocolate, clearly after a few drinks.

g. "I've known her since sixth grade, it's statistically impossible to NOT have seen her boobs." – Ashley via phone discussing Niki’s appreciation of nudity

h. “My Zen is on the bottom of this bottle of wine” -- Niki

i. Drank wine from an (emptied) beer bottle – Ruby! Perhaps the downfall that resulted in letter b above!

j. Woke up with a hangover (multiple answers!) – all of the mommies might have celebrated their freedom a bit much! Somehow Niki and Tempe seemed to be chipper and capable of getting out of bed or off the couch.

k. Is taking home the recyclables in a Costco bag – Penelope, which made the amusing irony in letter e above.

l. Cooked us dinner




this fabulousness was waiting on us when we got back from our hike!


and here is the chef serving our delectable Cajun Shrimp Pasta dish, which you can whip up in a jiffy, too, if you so desire!


we do, indeed exist and it may not be shots or in the hot tub, but we all had glasses in our hands, Mendacious, per your request! Except Pen is drinking milk. Ha! No, it’s some of Andria’s incredible Pina Coladas! Something to help temper our drinking pace – brain freeze will make you drink a little slower.

m. "No, I’m not lucky, I’m just an alcoholic.” – Tempe discussing her lack of a hangover.

n. “I look like I’ve never been sexy in my life.” – Niki lamenting a picture in which she was attempting to look sultry.

o. Brought a cloth grocery bag (multiple answers!) – all of us, hooray! Aren’t we with it?!

p. Did morning yoga in the kitchen – more of Niki’s hippie shit.

q. Went for a 3-mile hike off the Blue Ridge Parkway (multiple answers!) – All but Tempe, who was back at the cabin cooking our wonderful meal from letter l above.

our fearless leader. . .

cheerleader, that is!

we were hiking to a waterfall and thought we’d found it!

hmm, perhaps a little small.

oh, here’s the real waterfall.

Niki had to climb and play around on the rocks.

r. Peed in the woods – who’s the hippie? again, no pictures allowed. (Dude. I REALLY had to go! It was the woods or my pants. - N)


s. “G as in G-G-G-Good God.” – cup size!

t. “Is this Dead Animalville?” – Tempe remarking on all of the stuffed animals hanging in the cabin.

u. “This hole is not natural.” – Niki commenting on a rock that had a perfectly round hole drilled through it. Clearly, she is the winner of the Most Quotable Humor for the Captain’s Log.

v. “We need to do an ass montage.” – After Andria complained about how many pictures of her ass had been taken throughout the day.

w. “You hit puberty 20 years too late.” – Niki to Tempe on her expanded chest size.

x. “I was trashy.” – Niki, who would like to emphasize the past tense (This is SO out of context it takes too long to explain - N).

y. On having babies: “Knock me over the head and cut it out like a tumor.” - Tempe

z. "If that goes on the blog, I quit" – I was tempted to post the picture, because I still think it’s super cute, but. . .I don’t want to lose Niki over it.

Here are just a few others. . .


FIERCE!

Mama's in the Sauce 9:39 PM

As a new (temporary?!) SAHM, I've devised a plan to get me through the day. Feel free to partake if you have kids at home as well. The rules are simple:


Take a drink:
*For every article of clothing you have to re-fasten or replace on the child's body

*For every meal you feed - to humans or canines

*For every phrase you have to repeat:
~if within a 30 second period, take 2 shots,
~if during a movie or cartoon, just chug until over; you will be repeating yourself the entire time anyway until the hypnosis wears off,
~if the phrase is "no" go ahead and finish your glass
~for every phrase you hear repeated back to you that should not have been uttered in the first place, or fallen on such innocent ears. Such as "Jesus!" or "GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!" to the canine staff during meal time. There's something disconcerting about such force coming out of a little sweet package.

*Every time you have to close your eyes and deep breathe, might as well have the bottle to your lips

*For every mess you have to clean up more than once

*For every mess you have pointed out to you that you just didn't really want to know or think about - PopTart fingers grabbing onto the back of the chair; unknown brown substance; known brown substance, etc.

*For every unknown substance you have to dig out of your child's mouth.

*Any time the decibel level elevates, whether it be your own voice yelling or your children's happy squealing or whining requests that make the hair on the back of your neck stand up and internally cringe.

*Any time you manage to multitask and accomplish something, especially if under the guise of a "game" or "fun": Laundry! Unloading the dishwasher! Recycling mama's empty wine bottles!


Be sure to partake in nap time, as you will need it!

Mixology 10:33 AM

Ingredients:

1 small car

2 plastic trash cans

What kind of story can you create? Tell me the scene you imagine. These come from an actual observation I had and I'll give out more hints and some background knowledge each day and we'll see if we come to the same conclusion by the end of the week.

Ding, Ding, we have a winner folks. Well, hell, Tempe, you're too good and kind of jumped the gun there and I didn't get to post any more of my revealing observations:

*The trash cans are out in the street, not near the curb.

*There is a male drive and a female passenger.

*The trash cans are about a car length apart.

*The man is much older than the girl.

*The man is actually the girl's father.

I didn't expect to make it through all of these before someone got it, but. ..

It was confusing at first when I came around the corner and the car was there and tried to awkwardly pull out of the way and was angled toward the curb behind a trash can and I saw the trash cans and thought, "man, the garbage folks really left them way out in the street today" and it wasn't until I was past and looking in the rear view mirror that it hit me what was going on. I just thought it was a really cute moment and it simultaneously brought me back 15 years (yikes!) to learning myself and flashed forward 13 years to when Hubby will be pulling his hair out trying to be patient enough with D. I just remember how BIG those moments felt at the time and how monumental things are when you are 15. I was just a casual passerby, but it affected me when I realized what was going on. And I thought it would be fun to share and see what everyone came up with, because my mind was creating a lot of scenarios at first and then I was able to piece it together. Thanks for playing!