shot of sass, served on (n)ice

Friday, October 2, 2009

Help a Sister Out

Dear Universe,

First of all, I agree with Pen and Ruby. The clamshells, they are problematic, and we need to work on that. In turn, I will agree to not buy so much expensive dark, delicious chocolate. Also, let's really try to hold off on the aches and pains of aging. I know I ran a little longer on the treadmill the other day than normal, but really, 3 days of back/neck cricks is a little MUCH.

Other than this, you're doing ok these days. You have improved 2009 A LOT since the first half, so kudos for that.

Now that I've gotten the gratitude out of the way, I'd like to talk about the crazy. Yes. The Crazy.

You know, the Crazy that comes approximately once a month? Yeah. That one. I quit taking birth control because it exacerbated the Crazy, made it stick around the entire month. And I guess I can see how you think only a few days/one week is a pretty good trade off, but really, it is SO NOT.

My co-workers, friends, semi-significant other don't always know hormones are responsible, and I simply cannot afford to be an irrational, neurotic bitch 5 days a month (60 days a year) on the job/at home/at the bar. I will get fired. I will get dumped. I will lose drinking buddies and become a lonesome alcoholic.

You don't want that, do you?

No. I didn't think so.

So please, for the love of me, tone down the Crazy. I can't take it anymore, and wine is only an acceptable medicine part of the time.



4 tips left at the bar:

pen said...

AMEN. I wish I could make the font larger. I'll just say it again. AMEN!

Andria said...

Ain't that the truth?! Ugh, SO annoying.

Bj in Dallas said...

Cures for the Crazy, because I have it too. Imagine that.

Natural- Sweet Potatoes. Seriously

Pharmacutical (sp)- Lexapro. Seriously.

pen said...

Whoa. I thought in the back of my mind that the last bout of Crazy wasn't so bad? We randomly had a ton of sweet potatoes that week. Weird!