shot of sass, served on (n)ice

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Coerced Confessions are Inadmissible

For the record: Never, ever, ever, never, ever write, state, sing, draw, or otherwise confess to anything to anyone. Not the cops, not your best friend, not even your dog. You could confess to your spouse and then claim marital privilege and try to prevent them from testifying against you, but that has so many holes and exceptions that it's best just to keep a secret a secret and carry on normally.

For Ruby: I will play along lest she beat me up.

I'll Admit I . . .:

* have 4-5 dog toys lying around the house when the dog trainer told me to keep them all put away unless actually playing.

* have developed a semi-addiction to The O.C. on DVD (only on Season 2, so please no spoilers!).

* sometimes want a husband. No, not for romantical "I'm in love forever and always let's have babies and be soulmates reasons." Rather, it would be nice to have a tax break, an extra income to buy a house/pay bills, tax deduction for purchasing said house, help around the house, someone to cook, someone to help walk the dog, etc.  If any of you are/know gay men who want to be my "life partner," but still feel free to date whomever they please, send them my way.

* am emotionally involved in the outcomes of certain tennis matches. (*Ahem* Ruby, please remember that I didn't say anything about the dreadful health effects of frying your innards in the tanning bed.)

* can be a self-obsessed bitch sometimes.

* am about to hit "publish post" and have a cup of blueberry frozen yogurt before bed. Shhh. Don't tell my ass.

2 tips left at the bar:

penelope said...

Blueberry frozen yogurt doesn't sound all that unhealthy? Yum.

I want to know what you think of the last season of OC, when you get there. It kind of lost me... That's all I'll say for now.

And, I love your reasons for wanting a husband sometimes. Most amusing, and I mean that in the best possible way. :)

Andria said...

I had some kids [teenage boys] in the neighborhood riding around in a golf cart that pulled up beside me while I was running tonight and offered a ride, saying, "just tell them you ran" and I asked, "tell who? do I report to someone?" and I so wanted to say, "tell my ass?!" because I thought that was such a great line.