Cows & Clumps

Being as I am a frugal barmaid, I thought I'd share two of my favorite low-cost beauty secrets. Because, honestly. In these trying economic times, you have to save your pennies. For shoes.

* Declumping - No lady likes to leave the house with ooey-gooey mascara clumps clinging to her lashes. Indeed, the dread of the clump has left many a fair maiden reticent to don the mascara at all. But my friends, naked lashes are not the answer. When I decided a tube of mascara is done for, I simply wash the wand in hot water and dish soap (the most likley to get the mascara off the wand expediently) and allow it to dry. And the next morning? I have the world's most inexpensive and effective eyelash comb.

* Bag Balm - Yes, Bag Balm, the concoction developed in Vermont before the turn of the century to keep cow udders from getting dry and cracked in the cold. Now you might think that it's "udderly" disgusting, but this yellowish ointment makes the most fantastic bulk chapstick. I put Bag Balm on my lips every night before I go to sleep, and I only ever get chapped lips under the most dire of weather circumstances. And I'm kissable til the cows come home.