shot of sass, served on (n)ice

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I don't mean to brag, but...

It's the weekly special, so maybe I do mean to brag, a little...

My #1 hidden talent is sleeping. I can sleep anywhere, anytime. From cat naps to a full night's rest, I pride myself in my ability to pass out the moment my head hits the pillow. I can sleep curled up in a coach seat on an airplane, on the sofa...hell, once, in a previous job, I actually crawled under my desk and slept at work.

I can shop online like it's my JOB. I know all the great bargain sites (bluefly, overstock, you name it), and I can buy my fall wardrobe while on a conference call with my boss. I guess some people would call this multi-tasking; I call it "shoppin' like a PRO."

Evidenced by my late submission this week to my OWN weekly special, I'm a damn good procrastinator. And, no matter how long I wait to get something done, I always come through in the clutch. In fact, I don't know that I know how to get something done early. I feel like my best work is done under pressure.

I am a really, really great rationalizer. Need to feel better about eating that entire bag of Doritos? Come to me and I'll tell you that you just got your calcium intake for the day because of the cheese, thus fighting osteoporosis. Feel bad about slacking at work? I'll explain that the best employees know how to say "no" at times. Drank too much last night and you're hung over? I'll blame the bartender for ya. (Okay, yeah...some would call this little talent "enabling," but I'd tell you that I'm just here to support my friends.)

So, there ya go. Tempe, the procrastinating, rationalizing, nap-taking online shopping whiz.

Admit it, you're jealous. :)

6 tips left at the bar:

Andi said...

I AM totally jealous -- that you have the body type that can order your entire wardrobe ONLINE! I cannot. I think sizes are a crock (my own rationalization skills - it's Not my body!) and I have to try on everything, which sucks.

Smilf said...

Man, I wish I could sleep anywhere! I have to be comfy which sucks because I LOVE LOVE LOVE to sleep. I want to be the person who can curl up in an airport chair and look peaceful. I am totally jealous now.
Can you please rationalize this giant chocolate chip cookie I'm about to eat? Thaaaanks. :)

niki said...

She's not lying; I've had the personal benefit of her rationalizations, and it's incredible really. If you want to do something bad, just call Tempe and she'll make you feel good about it. ;)

penelope said...

Assignment: a list of all the hot bargain sites! Because I'm way into bargains.

I too admire the ability to curl up and go to sleep anywhere.

Megan said...

I'll admit it, I'm jealous! I was looking for an enabler, I mean, rationalizer, and I think I juuuust found her. :)

Bj in Dallas said...

I love this bar! I have so many 'values' that I share with you girls........
I am the queen procrastinator, and I hate it but I know it...so I'll get back to you when I fix it. Maybe later than sooner......
SOONERS,! AGGH! MEGAN, WE COULD ALL BE AT THE BCS!! GO BULLDOGS (that was hard to type)