shot of sass, served on (n)ice

Monday, September 15, 2008

Debbie Doesn't Do Pirates

Getting this week's Weekly Special kicked off in fine style is the totally effed up sentence that starts it all:

When Debbie decided that Salt ‘n’ Pepper Beard was the most attractive pirate on the ship, she realized that choosing him was due to the advice of Sylvia, her new Life Coach, to be realistic about her own age and to open herself up to romance where it lay, unlike the troublesome past where she would have wished that only the younger pirates take advantage of her. But what the hell did Sylvia know, she thought, since the woman was obviously wacked out and referred to men in a bar as pirates on a ship? Troublesome past be damned, Debbie's drinks were telling her, go for the hot goodness of the younger men! As she left to investigate the scene out on the back patio, Debbie grabbed the arm of her closest friend and partner in Cougar crime, Sally, and the two sauntered outside to the beat of the music that was playing loudly. Once there, the Cougaristas quickly pounced on an open table by the large dance floor, ordered more drinks and began to survey their hot bodied options. Debbie and Sally both agreed that observing them on the dance floor was a good indicator of who would best suit their needs.

4 tips left at the bar:

penelope said...

Oh boy. I'm laughing just thinking about how we're going to get from Point A to Point B.

Andria said...

I think you did a fabulous job turning that crazy-ass sentence back to something more normal! But, I, too, am amused thinking about how my sentences are going to "fit" into this story?!

Molly said...

I think I like Sally better than Debbie. And I just get the feeling that she is not a cougar at all!

niki said...

What's the matter, Megs? You don't like pirates??! Excellent transition, smartini-pants!