shot of sass, served on (n)ice

Friday, September 26, 2008

Application for Awesomeness Pending

Qualifications:

  • Somewhat of a domestic diva. And let’s just note that when J.Lo took the test on my behalf, I scored well over a hundred.
  • Domestic diva abilities include running own company, making (and using!) own household cleaners, and pinching pennies.
  • Also baking a mean cookie.
  • And cooking. Specialties include homemade meatballs and sauce, pizza from scratch, crab cakes, chicken pot pie… and lots of other stuff. 
  • Can pack five tons of shit into a ten-ton bag. Or room. But that doesn’t really make sense.
  • Multi-tasking. Three blogs, two children, one husband, and a whole mess of TV shows? It’s a lot of work!
  • I decorate for holidays. A little bit.
  • Oh, and I can make snowflakes!
  • I know how to insert hyperlinks.
  • I also bowl pretty good on the Wii.
  • I’ve only gotten one speeding ticket in my life and to date have no car accidents on my record. On a related note, I have a semi-psychic ability to foresee when people will change lanes.
  • Never had a cavity. Yet.
  • Never broke a bone.
  • Never had stitches.
  • And apparently have never lived on the edge!
  • But I’m okay with that. Because I can write a good list.

4 tips left at the bar:

pen does not have pms said...

Boy... Friday afternoons are rough. Crickets seem to be our only bar clientele! If anyone needs me, I'll be in the corner, sulking over my beer. :)

Andi said...

Lots of folks cut out early on Fridays. . not a reflection on you! You'd think the bar would be a good place to head, but alas, there's always traffic to contend with, so be patient! I know several of us that are part of the late night crowd and are just getting going.
This list does indeed rock. I hope it doesn't jinx you, though!
I have never had a ticket or accident either. See, I don't like writing that or saying it out loud, because it scares me that I might not be able to say it again. I had a cavity on a baby tooth that fell out. And then, I moved to Atlanta and the dentist wanted to fill every tooth in my head, seriously. Since leaving him I have been to 3 dentists without another filling, so I'm skeptical of how many cavities I really had!
I think we are definitely having a cookie contest at our Smartini Retreat in the Spring. If only so I can reap the benefits of all of the excellence.

penelope said...

I know. I'm totally crabby. :)

I had *knock on wood* in there at some point, but it didn't make it into the final draft. I say it in my head every time I speak those words!

Cookies. Yum.

Megan said...

You are awesome, aren't you?! That's one hell of a list, my dear, and I must say that I'm jealous. Especially of the Wii skills, which I think should be put on everyone's resume from now on.

No cavities, broken bones or stitches? Geez louise, woman!