Cleaning Up the Bar: Part 1

So, I have a reputation around this establishment as being something of a “queen of home remedies.” It’s true, you’ll often find me at the bar after hours, scrubbing down the countertops with my homemade cleaning solutions. I find it a good form of stress relief, a way to restore order to a disordered world. And I make most of my own cleaners, not necessarily because I’m an all-natural gal, but because I’m a cheap bastard. Some of my cleaners do happen to be all-natural and non-toxic, which I appreciate, but some of them could melt your face off. Which means they are damn good cleaners.

I’ve spent the better part of a year really getting into this homemade cleaners thing, and I’ve learned a thing or two—one of those things being that sometimes, it’s not worth it to make your own. But a lot of times, it is. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be posting a series of Smartini ways to clean up the bar, when and how to make cleaners, and web sites I’ve found helpful in this venture.

Two rules: Remember that this cleaning series is based on just one barmaid’s experience. Secondly, please don’t assume that just because I make the cleaners and use them on occasion that my house is, um… pristine. Because it’s really not. I’m just a frugal girl who has to clean up the house every now and then.

Recipe 1: The Friendly All-Purpose Cleaner

I like to use this cleaner on food surfaces, and any other surfaces my kids spend a lot of time around. The ExerSaucer, for instance. It’s very simple, and I found it on Dot Com Women.

Mix 4 tbsp baking soda and 1 quart warm water in a spray bottle. Shake. And you’re done.

Spray bottles can be picked up at Target. You can go with either the kind in the 99-cent bin by all the travel supplies—they come in pretty colors and nice small sizes (you may have to half this recipe), or fork out a little more for the bigger, “industrial” spray bottle located in the cleaning supplies sections by the brooms and mops. I bought a few of the 99-cent ones before realizing that between my klutziness and my two-year-old’s *exuberance,* they are maybe not the most economical choice. Best to fork out for the nicer bottle, if you’re in this homemade cleaners thing for the long haul.

My biggest complaint about this cleaner is that sometimes, it tends to leave behind tiny white spots from the baking soda. But if you read the recipe, it does say to “rinse with clear water.” I had not previously noticed this instruction, and just mopped up with a paper towel or rag. Which leads me to my last point of the day: even though you’re at the bar, it’s best if you don’t drink and clean.