Me. Island. Hard-core. (Sort of.)

All right, ladies. You've forced me to really get *creative* on this Weekly Special. Clearly, I cannot live a day without my computer, my ipod, and any of the basic necessities required for me to make it on a desert island. But as these items have already been claimed by my fellow barmaids, I'm left with no other choice.

When I'm cast away to my island, I'm going hard-core.

I don't need no stinkin' toothbrushes. I'm growing some dreadlocks and braidable leg hair. I'm taking this opportunity to free myself from material possessions and just *be.* For this [completely implausible] mission, I'll need the following.

1. A big stack of books, including favorites such as Harry Potter, of course, but also a book on Zen living and a few wilderness survival guides. So I can figure out how to, um, survive. Gulp.

2. A paper and pen. Must have some way to write about my broken, longing, computer-deprived heart.

3. A solar-powered radio. I was going to say a Band in a Box, but thought that was a *bit* over-the-top. I'm not a musician, what would I want to listen to my own primitive drum-banging for? Anyway, with a radio, I'll have access to some music and some outside-world news.

4. My subscription to EW Magazine. I know. This quest for zen enlightenment isn't going so well. And I was going to say pictures of my husband and kids for this one, but no one said I couldn't bring the actual people with me, so... I'm thinking we'll read movie reviews and celebrity news out loud. Family time.

5. Cooking supplies. Every time they give out spices and a few pots and pans on Survivor, as a reward, I think, "Yes." That's the ticket. If I'm going to have live off the land, or whatever, I at least need a way to spice it up and make that crap edible. Not to mention, without pots and pans, how will I cook the fish, turn it on a spit? I wonder if they cover that in the guide books.