Gosh, it seems like yesterday that I was just a hundred-aire (if yesterday was right after payday, of course). Time sure does fly when you make a boatload of money by introducing the uninitiated to the Waffle House. Every college town in America should have one, because we all know that students need cheap food served up by someone who calls you 'hon' at 2 am after you have hit the bar and are feeling a bit famished. I opened up a WH in a few towns in need of some all day breakfast and I was golden.
Mmm... scattered and covered hash browns... cheese eggs... But I digress.
WH money isn't at all greasy, like you might imagine. It spends just as well as any other, really. It spent well enough to buy me a kick ass ranch in Texas with more acres than you can count. And chock full o' cows and horses, too. Livin' the ranch lifestyle, we are, with nothing to do but play with the animals and spend our hash brown lovin' money.
Oh, sure, we keep busy, what with all the horse shows and rodeos for the girls and all. And I have to keep up with my tan by the pool, which can take up a fair portion of a girl's day, if she lets it. (There are magazines that need to be read, and beer that needs to be drunk, people!)
Working off all those late night visits to the WH is important since I am routinely photographed at new restaurants posing with the grease trap and whatnot. So maybe a little boxing, a few surfing lessons and a few miles jogging, just for good measure.
When we aren't on the road in our brand new Chevy hauling the ritziest horse trailer you have ever seen, we jet on off to one of our other homes for a quick vacay. St. Thomas is so nice, no matter what time of the year so I absolutely insist that we go there at least ten times a year. The ranch in Wyoming is nice too, as is the lake house, so we find ourselves at each throughout the year. Friends and family make nice accessories to most trips, so we have a plane large enough to accommodate the whole group. Of course.
When I say friends, I certainly include Kelly Ripa in that group. She and I get along so famously that we are practically glued at the hip, and it's so hard to tell who the paps are after! You can imagine how we spend the hours drinking tasty drinks, talking children and biz and having an all around good time. Since she is my arm muscle role model, it's nice to have her around for motivation to do all those bicep curls. Eeevery now and then she and I might step out to the club scene, just to keep the fans happy and all.
In addition to all of my hard work on my tan, curling with Kelly, and shopping in general, I do have a cause that is near and dear to my heart. The Drag Your Ass to Class fund is so important on campuses across the country. Deserving students are awarded scholarships for going to class when they really don't feel like it. I personally would have benefited greatly from having such a motivating factor in my college career, and there is nothing more special than seeing a student who hasn't bathed and still reeks of alcohol making it to their 8:30. We are enabling success with the DYAC award and I couldn't be more proud.
Besides, who do you think is going to keep my Waffle House invested self in business but the hasn't bathed, alcohol reeking frat boy?
4 tips left at the bar:
That's just fantastic. Will the DYAC be awarded based on performance, or will the kids have to write an essay?
The best part about the Waffle Fortune is that you get waffle batter from the WaHo! And free greasy drunk food!
Now that's really living it up!
Love it!
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