shot of sass, served on (n)ice

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I Might Laminate This & Put It In My Wallet

1) Christian Bale - I don't know how or when this crush on Christian emerged, but for some time now, he's sort of embodied the perfect-looking male to me. Slightly rugged. Darkly poetic. A little brooding. But a great smile. Really a brilliant heart-stopping sexy smile. He's insanely male - he exudes quiet fascinating confidence. He's mysterious. And beautiful. Sighs.


2) John Mayer - Let's face it: I am madly in love with John Mayer. Despite his womanizing ways (I can't even keep track anymore - Jessica? Minka? Jennifer?), I'd still make out with him in a New York minute. Or a minute in any other state, for that matter. The luscious hair, the great lips (c'mon - you gotta admit those are fantastic, pouty lips) plus he plays guitar and sings songs to my soul. I bet his body is a wonderland.


3) Hugh Jackman - Since X-Men first hit the big screens and I saw Jackman jacked up as the cage-fighting Wolverine replete with the fantastic pompadour and artistic sideburns, I was totally charmed by his gritty sarcastic portrayal. Like, his Wolverine was the kind of guy you sort of a little bit wanted to be mean to you? And then make him fall in love with you in the end. Not to mention Jackman can totally play the suave debonair historic role, too, with the most impeccable Aussie-turned-Brit accent. Dee-lish.

4) James McAvoy - He's a bit unconventional in the looks department, but he's Scottish, so there's the brogue going for him. Plus, if you've seen Becoming Jane, you know he's a good kisser. You would also know he wears Hessians, one of the sexiest male footwear designs ever conceived. He's so passionate in that movie, it can't all be acting. There's got to be some degree of the real thing in there. And that roguish smile. There's a quiet intensity there that you just want to see...unleashed. I'd love to be trapped in a stagecoach with him.


5) Orlando Bloom - Orly kind of satisfies my need for the slightly naughty boy. He's got that bad boy sensibility about him at times. Or maybe it's just that I know he's the kind of guy who would never go for me, so it's that hard-to-get quality. And, let's face it, his swashbuckling in Pirates is hot. Since this is hypothetical, and I can make any conditions I want, he's got to be this version of Orly - rocking the 5 o'clock shadow facial hair and the longer locks. (Although it's not like I'd turn him down if he were clean shaven and short haired.)

Bonus:
Top three fictional characters...aka, maybe some of these guys are a bit old for me now, but, if I could go back to this time and this particular character...fireworks.

1) Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy in Pride & Prejudice - Not that Fitzwilliam Darcy would ever do anything so undignified as make out...but if he changed his mind after that stripped-down swim in the lake, so be it.

2) Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark - I don't care if it's when he's Dr. Jones or Indy, I'd take a passionate lip-lock with the whip-wielding archaeologist any day.

3) Chris Noth as Mr. Big on Sex & the City - I know Nik and Jenn are going to get me for this one, neither of them being big Big fans. But, the second time I watched S&TC all the way through, I totally fell in love with Mr. Big. Despite his wicked ways. Despite his rather unforgivable, entirely thoughtless male ways, I love him. And I'd make out with him in Paris. Oui, oui, mon cheri.

Is it just me or did I get way to into this post? If you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a cold shower.

8 tips left at the bar:

Anonymous said...

wow, fabulous list!! Very yummy and scrumptious! I don't think I realized you liked the rough and tumble, down and dirty, gritty (LOVE that description) bad boys quite so much. hmm. You definitley put some thought into it and your passion for the subject comes through! oo la la!

Ruby said...

Mmm... That's a mighty fine line up you have there! It certainly makes me glad that I left one of my spots open! :)

tempe & chris said...

Hey, you've got another vote for Chris Noth as Mr. Big. Wowza.

Fab list!

penelope said...

I picture you saying "to my soul" about John Mayer's singing with the very same intonation as Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail: He has a thousand insights INTO MY SOUL. Love it.

Ah, in total agreement about Mr. Big. It also took me the second run through S&TC, when you know by then that it's right, that it's supposed to work out. Chills!

I fully expected to see Daniel Radcliffe on your list despite that Megs got her clutches into him first. Hee hee.

Niki said...

I don't get Mr. Big, but whatever, because OMG Christian Bale is so freakin' hot, and I, too heart Wolverine (but Hugh Jackman without Wolverine is all yours). Also, John Mayer - totally hot. Why does his womanizing make me want him more (and I don't even like his music)??

ashley said...

You're right, Andi. The dirty boy love is sort of incongruous with me...but, I don't know, it's just what does it for me. :)

Cue said...

I second you on Christian Bale. And Indiana Jones. (!!)

jenn said...

I'm loving your list. I could pass on Mr. Big (give me Aidan any day) and for some reason Orlando doesn't really do it for me, but I'm totally with you on everyone else. Smokin' hot. :)