shot of sass, served on (n)ice

Monday, November 2, 2009

Comment Cards #1 Liars

Please complete the following sentence with your wise words of wisdom (I totally wanted to spell wisdom, wisedom, but spell checker says no. Makes sense to me!):

Those jackasses LIED when they told me _________________________.

May I suggest:

* you can highlight your hair at home, from a box
* it tastes like chicken
* those shoes are totally hot
* you look the same as you did in high school
* there aren't any cops on that road
* it will only hurt for a minute

11 tips left at the bar:

Andria said...

*they wouldn't mess up the yard taking down the tree.
*it was supposed to be AM showers on Halloween.
*built for ages 3+ - it can't be in the same room as a 3 year old without falling over.
*Clearance/Sale - always gets me, because it must be a deal if it's on Clearance, right? But, it's actually $2 more than the clothes set up out front.

pen said...

*not to clean your ears out with q-tips. Okay, so maybe it's right on the box, not to do that. But still. Why make it so tempting?

Andria said...

seriously? all of your recent ear/hearing issues were from using a Q-tip?! eek. I use one nearly everyday after showering.

pen said...

I'm afraid so...

tempe said...

* No, we really did fix the leak in your roof/window this time.

* This procedure may cause minor pain.

* You'll understand when you're older.

Bj in Dallas said...

I have so many, my brain cells just collided.

To Pen: I was on a PMS tear through the house one day, and fixed dinner, but jumped in the shower before we ate. Sat down with M2 and the Ex, and everyone was eating and about halfway through he says 'is there a reason you have a QTip sticking out of your ear?' which meant it had been there about 30 minutes.

good times.

~sarah said...

- I would not receive another bill from the inefficient and totally ineffective ER doctor who asked me if I wanted him to prescribe me antibiotics after NOT looking at my injury and spending only 5 minutes with me in the ER.
- we could still be friends.
- I could have a raise "soon."
- this would be a cool, laid back project to work on.
- the door/plumbing/wall cracks/myoldasdirtapartment was fixed.

Cakelet said...

You will lose weight quickly and easily.

Sheila said...

*that those jeans don't make your butt look big
*it would only be about 10 minutes longer, after already waiting over an hour for my doctor's appt.

And BJ, I am seeing yet another reason why your ex is your ex...

pen said...

BJ--hilarious! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with this whole Q-tip thing, too.
Sheila, the second one is soooo true. Sarah, 2 is brutal, 3 is just ugh. Doesn't every employer do that? So annoying.

Bj in Dallas said...

to the girl I bought the washing machine from on Craigs list
yeah, it does work great, except for that leak that just went all over my laundry room floor. I trusted you because you were a MOM! A lying MOM, I guess.......
I was so excited about Craigs list but now it goes in my FAIL column.