Who Wore it Better?

As promised, Day 1 of Oscar Fashion coverage. Trust me. I've got lots to say on this topic, and an entire week may not be enough time to do so.

The bad news is that the good pictures won't let me save them as pictures, which sort of destroys the post I've been composing in my head all day of a side-by-side comparison. Luckily, you readers are an internet savvy bunch, and I trust you can follow the linkage to the golden egg.

Without further ado:

Penelope Cruz v. Sarah Jessica Parker
For real ladies. Is this the battle of the Barbie Princess Dresses or Oscar night? I give the edge to Penelope for a couple of reasons. 1) When she accepted her award I noticed the beautiful embroidery on the bodice. 2) SJP's skirt is just too. much. tulle. and it makes me itchy just thinking about it. I do like the color of SJP's dress, which can't be seen in every photo, and her hair is nice. Still, way too Barbie Princess for me.

Natalie Portman v. Alicia Keys
Both ladies very lovely in pastel-y pink and purple. Both ladies with flowy skirts and nifty corset-esque bodices. I'm really digging Alicia's slit, but her makeup is pretty damn fug. On the other hand, something I can't quite place my finger on that I don't love about the intersection of skirt and top on Portman's dress. Nonetheless, her face is flawless, so she has the slight edge in my book (also, a different view of the color and angle - she's pretty hot).

Heidi Klum v. Amanda Seyfried
Clearly Amanda Seyfried, aka Lily from Veronica Mars and also the daughter from Mamma Mia!, is out of her league in this competition. Still, both women are a hot mess. Essentially they are competing to see whether a giant ugly bow looks best on the front or the back of a red satin gown. Um, neither. For serious. This is first time I have seen Heidi Klum not look amazing; the woman can normally make a potato sack look hot. Alas, not even the most beautiful woman in the world can make a big butt bow look good. (Heidi - do not let those Germans tell you that you're fat - eat a sandwich, honey! Your shoulders are pointy!)

Angelina Jolie v. Jennifer Aniston
Ok, so their looks were almost polar opposites, but it was their first face-to-face and the entire world was watching to see what would go down. Aniston is the clear winner in my book because I feel like Angie has worn this same dress 7 different times. While I'm not in love with Aniston's dress, it's sparkly and her hair is freakin' gorgeous. She looks like she's having fun. Angie looks like she is mother superior looking down on all the common actor folk. I do love her earrings and ring though, so I will give her points for that.