Fridge on a Mission: What Happens When I Read Too Much About Food*

My illustrious refrigerator, purchased when we bought our home 3 1/2 years ago. If I could do it all over again, it would be BLACK. Or stainless, but they didn’t have any small enough for the space, at the time. It’s just that I find white so darn difficult to keep clean. And I loathe the water stains on the dispenser—our water has a lot of iron in it. At least the children won’t be anemic?

On the door: lots of condiments! Your standard fare. Looks pretty neat, too, doesn’t it? I didn’t clean up for this photo shoot, I swear. I’ve been on an anti-high fructose corn syrup kick, among others, as of late, and recently took inventory. You’ll still see a few items in our fridge that aggravate me, such as the Heinz ketchup, the crappy chocolate syrup, the A-1 sauce I think is “contaminated” with HFCS, and let’s not even talk about the deli drawer—yet. Also note that the third shelf was recently moved down a peg to store a really big bottle of wine I meant to replace today, but forgot. Sigh. It would have been current fav pinot grigio. From Costco. I’m sad it’s not there.

A few hours before I took this photo, the shelves were actually pretty bare:

 

 

 

 

 

Barer, anyway. Costco contributed a big container of strawberries, salad, more milk (shoved in the back—we go through lots around here), liquid candy-er, Coke, and eggs. In my ideal world, they would be organic and/or relatively local strawberries, and farm-fresh eggs, and milk from a local dairy, but what can you do. We can’t all afford to shop at the co-op. (Or drag our ass over there for three things with two small children in tow, when Costco is two miles from the house and the co-op is like, ten, as the case may be.)

What I am proud of on those shelves are the homemade leftovers: pizza sauce, Paula Deen’s French Toast Casserole (omg), and shrimp lo mein (tonight’s dinner).

Also notable: Feta cheese, which is very tasty in an omelet with fresh spinach. Also, plain yogurt, which we put in our dog’s food every morning. To be polite, it helps their digestion. Bender especially was not… flower-fresh, let’s say, pre-yogurt. And may the Force be with you if you forget one day.

There is also a ginormous tub of Country Crock that I feel too guilty to throw out. Yet. And it is so much more spreadable than even the whipped butter.

In the drawers, you’ll find standard assorted vegetables, including some questionable onions. I can’t seem to find onions around here that were fresh to begin with, they all come with sprouts. Maybe I should plant them instead? Hot dogs (Hebrew National, HFCS-free), bacon (nitrate-filled, alas), lots and lots of cheese, including (if you must) the Kraft cheese-food product slices I wanted to outlaw forever, but I was overruled, 3:1. There’s mozza for pita pizzas, some crazy-delicious brie-type cheese, cheddar, and Gouda. Also, I am sad to say, this:

Not quite as old as Andi’s horseradish, but still.

Now, the freezer! It’s hard to say for sure what’s in there. I’m really the only one who can navigate this bitch. There’s frozen cookies from Christmas, made by my mom and thieved surreptitiously, one by one, when the children aren’t looking. There’s a lot of chicken and pork chops and steak in there, along with homemade gravy, frozen veggies, more pizza sauce, ravioli, highly processed but delicious taquitos (I can’t win every battle around here, in spite of my sword-wielding ways), panko-breaded onion rings, which are ridiculous with an imposter recipe I found for Outback’s bloomin’ onion sauce… my freezer isn’t nearly as interesting, or as far along in my Quest for Better Food. But, it can serve as a reminder that one should never opt for the side-by-side fridge. Don’t be charmed by its fanciful arrangement! Storage is too darn tough, and forget about anything wider than a foot. Although, one should also know that the more crap a person stuffs in her freezer, the more efficient it runs, no matter what kind it is. 

I leave you with my favorite cookie tin. Uneeda Biscuit. Why yes, yes I do.

     

*Please note that this post would have been very different if this particular Weekly Special had been posed a few months ago. I’m… going through a phase. :) It can only last so long.