shot of sass, served on (n)ice

Thursday, November 13, 2008

More Good Vibrations

Vibrators have apparently come a long way. Last week, we talked about the penis sleeve. This week, I ran across these lovely items in a magazine.

nailpolishvibelipstickvibe

They really are vibrators, designed with discreteness in mind.

I’ll let you all interpret that statement in the comments.

P.S. In which magazine did I discover this gem? Parenting! I tell no lies.

23 tips left at the bar:

Bj in Dallas said...

Parenting mag has come along way...oh my...

Andria said...

whoa, indeed! I got an email from Parenting Center this week with subject: "What Parents Do Between the Sheets" I haven't read it yet, but I wonder if these were featured!

Megan said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm confused! Unless these pictures are deceiving, these puppies are kind of small? In which case you would think that they are intended for use in more public (than a bedroom) occasions... right? 'You really think I'm smiling at you?'

(Or even 'My mommy's lipstick makes my lips tingle!'. Oh dear.)

penelope said...

Exactly! I think the insinuation was that you could leave them out on your dresser maybe, and they'd blend right in with your real cosmetics? Or if the kids ran across it, they wouldn't blink? But if it's something you'd have in your purse, when exactly are you using it.

I want to make a comment about the lipstick not exactly being discrete if you're using it on the wrong set of lips, but I won't. Oh wait, I just did. :)

sheila said...

If those things were hidden in my purse, they would not be fit for use! My handbag is a giant pit of gum wrappers, dirty kleenex, coins, etc. -not the cleanest place to store "my lipstick" (wink, wink)
But I suppose if I'm carrying hand sanitizer, I'd be alright

Anonymous said...

Like Megan said, those appear kind of small for private use? Am I telling too much about my preferences here?! Yes, too much... Sorry!

Megan said...

OMG, PENELOPE! I almost choked reading your comment, but then promptly laughed my ass off.

Lorrie Veasey said...

Yay! I was just thinking I needed some ideas for my Mother in Law's Christmas Stocking.

penelope said...

Lorrie, that thought just makes me smile!

Miss Thystle said...

I've seen these in person, they won't fool anyone. Now, the 'make up brush' one...wait. Shoot. Um, I'm really not a pervert. It was for a....bachelorette party! Right! Yes! That's it...um. I'm going now.

Karen the Naughty Nurse said...

Okay, a little background: I attended a specialty nursing course (Obstetrics & Gynecology) in Hawaii where I studied vaginas for 3 months. The army paid for it! We even had a lecture from a certified sex therapist. Very enlightening. So, I have no embarassment whatsoever when it comes to people (patients) asking me all sorts of questions. Best lube: Astroglide. Best pillows: Liberator. Uterus tilted- use these positions. Pregnant? Try these positions. No joke.

Now, that being said, you ladies are KILLING me.
The vibrators are small because they are intended for clitoral stimulation. Your partner can help out with the other part, if you so choose.

Dang, am I the only "freak" out there? :)

Oh- And I HIGHLY recommend the book "Everything Your Mother Never Told You About Sex". Ha! And let me know how many of you Google "Liberator."

penelope said...

Well of course, on the size. It's the shape that cracks me up more than anything. Like every woman's peskiest problem is that she needs to hide her sex toys, and these provide an answer... or a solution to the problem of toting them with you out in public.

And yes, I will totally be Googling "Liberator." :)

Andria said...

Whoa! I was NOT prepared for The Liberator. Or, at least the VIDEOS "selling" . . .well, you know!

penelope said...

The Liberator doesn't fall under the "discrete" category, that's for sure! Where does one store that thing? Without having it become tumbling blocks for the children during the day?

Naughty Nurse Indeed said...

The Liberator pillows made a cameo in the movie "Meet the Fockers." Do you remember Barbara Streisand's character was a sex therapist? And she was teaching a class... There are all these geriatric patients there carrying purple bags- with Liberator pillows inside!

Just went to the web and the website has DEFINITELY added a lot more... things than when I was last there! Wow! Attached handcuffs? Holy Cow!

Oh and my friend keeps her wedge and ramp in her large closet. My friend. Yes, that's right.

Andria said...

Good point, Pen!

Speaking of cow. . .I find the Bucking Bronco one the most intriguing - that sounds right your your alley, too, Megs! The "instructional" video shows him using the handles to completely lift it (and her) off the ground. wow. that's getting carried away on quite a wild ride.

Megan said...

OH DEAR - THERE ARE 'INSTRUCTIONAL' VIDEOS?! Holy shit. What have you started here, Naughty Nurse?

sheila said...

OK, this took a totally different turn than I was expecting. I guess I'll have to google Liberator when I'm not at work!! But I'm totally intrigued...

penelope said...

The bucking bronco???

I can't stop laughing.

Andria said...

I might have added the "bucking" part myself. . and not just because it rhymes with F*cking.

Congrats, Pen, I think this post might hold the record on number of comments -- even if half of them are us talking to each other. We now know Sex does generate more buzz than Politics. whew, as it should.

niki said...

Sorry I'm late to this party! I just got a little carried away with my Liberator wedge/ramp combo.

1. I think these vibrators are hilarious and wonderful. Perhaps they are for those situations like going on a plane? Wait. I didn't mean it like that.

2. The Liberator also makes an appearance in Burn After Reading, the latest Cohen Brothers movie with George Clooney and Brad Pitt.

3. Don't lie. You all know that if you don't yet have one of these Liberator contraptions (or something similar) you are DYING to try it.

4. Karen, you're hired.

Bj in Dallas said...

Well my goodness...

all I have to say is the blonde in the video named the Cube may need to write a thank you note.

Anonymous said...

OMG....That's all I have to say. Plus I sent the link to my husband......