The Key To A Good Time: It Isn't Keg Beer

Me? Drunk? Never! (Ok, there was this one time back in 1999...)

Friday: Saunter into Ford dealership and purchase my very first vehicle all on my own. A 1994 Explorer Sport fit me perfectly, what with being a 20 year old college student, who happened to live way out in the boonies in the woods, and the soon the be owner of a large breed dog. Perfect!

Saturday evening: Hop into one day old Explorer Sport with my living in sin partner, husband to be, and head way into town to a friend's apartment for a little viewing party of the UGA v. Tennessee game.

Saturday night: Drink copious amounts of beer. Yell at the TV. Drink some more.

Saturday night: During half time, decide to invite all guests at the party to come to the parking lot and see my new ride. Drink more beer. After the game is over, take my beer, and party guests, back out to new ride so that we can all sit in the back and bullshit. Nothing says fun like sitting in the back of a SUV.

Saturday late night: Keep drinking. Keep bullshitting. Finally decide to close up shop, lock up Explorer and head inside for the night.

Sunday semi-morning: Awake with a nasty hangover, just want to go home. Look for keys to new ride. No keys to be found. Vaguely remember going to sit in my brand new to me Explorer and needing to unlock it. Scour ground within a 50 foot radius of new ride, all the while wincing in the holy shit bright as universally possible sunlight.

Sunday noonish: No keys outside, no keys inside. Everyone a touch bit hung over. Beg and plead for friend to drive us way the hell out to our house. Friend agrees. Leave my brand new to me, all washed and Armour Alled, haven't driven more than 50 miles much less made any sort of payment, Explorer in the parking lot of friend's apartment.

Sunday afternoon: Break into house. Feel rather stupid that I didn't ask for a SPARE KEY in my wheeling and dealing with the salesman only hours before. Feel even more stupid for getting nasty drunk and thus even more nasty hung over off of KEG BEER. First introduction to Party A. Vow to never drink keg beer again.

Monday morning: Husband to be gives me a ride to work. Call locksmith. Bum ride to apartment building parking lot from coworker to meet locksmith.

Monday afternoon: Locksmith is waiting. Asks am I SURE that I can't find my keys? Um, yes. Locksmith says ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE SURE? Take one more look, through the clear eyes of a sober, not hung over person and see the keys to my brand new to me, all washed and Armour Alled, haven't driven more than 50 miles much less made any sort of payment, Explorer sitting on the roof, begging for someone to steal it.

Locksmith: That'll be $35.

*So I know this isn't a really juicy GGW type story, but it goes to show that not only can you be really dumb while drunk, you can be equally dumb the morning after. As can be your friends and future husband.*