Do you think I will get fired from the bar when I don't show up tomorrow morning and feign sickness? Because I will be sick, maybe.
Maybe I whipped up some of Pen's cookies and ate the whole damn batch? Or maybe I celebrated Niki's presidential platform early and sexed it up all night long? OR maybe the other Smartini barmaids kept serving me drinks and I'm going to be really hung over in the morning?
Please choose any one of the reasons above when I call in at 6:00 AM and tell you I am sick. (They all sound kind of fun, maybe I did all three? Woohoo!)
And please don't demand my resignation. Or can me.
Preesh.
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5 tips left at the bar:
I so thought about calling in sick tomorrow. In fact, I have thought about nothing else all day except that!
Let's have a fake sick day together!
It's Friday. .take the day off! Although, I think I've heard it is better to fire people on a Friday and give them the weekend to adjust, rather than on a Monday. Maybe you could still squeeze in a little WTFriday, you know, if something strikes your funny bone.
Why not all of the above? Too many drinks led to too much sex led to too many cookies led to exhaustion. Is that why Lindsay Lohan kept going to the hospital all those times??
I agree: all of the above. Sounds like a fun party! A smashing way to go down in a blaze of glory.
Wait, wait, wait. Are you telling me bar patrons will have to go without their daily news/Olympic update? Due to COCKtail and Cookie Flu? I'm appalled.
Consider this a warning. Next step: probation. Sincerely, The Manager.
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