shot of sass, served on (n)ice

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Schrute Nation

SchruteBuck Together, Dwight K. Schrute and I will rule the nation. Mr. Schrute will be an excellent Assistant the to President, and will spend much of his time instituting the Schrute Buck as our new national currency, promoting the National Beets Council (NBC) and drawing up easy-to-read diagrams for executing all our plans and emergency procedures, like so:

DwightsEmergencyChart

Meanwhile, DKS will assist me, the nation’s new President, in phasing out 24-hour days. Under the new administration, our country will operate on a 28-hour daytime schedule. The nation’s children will not be notified of this change. They will simply spend the extra four hours tucked away in their little beds each night, blissfully unawares. Meanwhile, adults the world over will have an extra four hours after work to live their lives. It’s a shocking and radical move, I realize, but entirely necessary. We will all have time now to do strange, novel things such as catching up on all our favorite TV shows. Playing more online Scrabble. Blogging. Having a decent conversation with family members. Reading books. Or even catching up on sleep, if we choose.

dwight_schruteAlthough the Pen-Schrute campaign has admittedly been plagued by a bit of scandal, including an inter-Office romance, and a certain issue last year involving a freezer and Dwight’s ex-girlfriend Angela’s cat, we are, above all, Determined, Worker, Intense, Good Worker, Hard Worker, and Terrific.

Vote for PEN-SCHRUTE 2008, it’s your ticket to a better, longer, and more productive tomorrow!

4 tips left at the bar:

Andria said...

Here Here! This sounds like a fabulous campaign and I would totally vote for Pen-Schrute!
I need those extra 4 hours the kids and employers are totally unaware of!

Molly said...

I will vote for you if the working week is cut to 30 hours with the same pay, and we are allowed to drink martinis with our lunch. Or breakfast, depending upon how desperate we are.

niki said...

I don't have childrens, but an extra four hours would totally give me time to be me, so you've got my endorsement

Megan said...

DKS would be such an ass kisser VP. I can see the wisdom in your selection!

Those four hours would be well received, that's for sure! Just think of how clean my house would be! Oh, wait. Scratch that. Just think of how much sleep I would get!