TO: Jim Halpert
FROM: Penelope
RE: Replacement for Pam Beasley, Dunder-Mifflin Secretary and (more importantly) your GIRLFRIEND
Dear Jim,
As previously mentioned, I might have a *tiny* inter-Office crush—on you. So, I’m applying to be your new girlfriend. If hired for this position here is what I can offer:
- Witty banter, 9 to 5.
- Assistance in all pranks brainstorming for Dwight K. Schrute.
- Help with all future projects involving Jell-O.
- More WPM than the original Pam.
- A coy smile delivered daily from my desk to yours.
And rest assured, you will be the only member of my Finer Things Club.
Thank you for your consideration, Jim, and I look forward to meeting you in the Supply Closet in 5…
Sincerely Yours,
Penelope Barmaid
[Insert Penelope photo here.]
4 tips left at the bar:
Excellent! Great form and I love it. How could he not upgrade to you with your clearly superior qualifications?
I would like clarification on what WPM stands for, please. Witty Posted Memos? Wisecracks Per Minute? OR Whiplash Producing Moments?
Oh, and you have way better hair than Pam.
I'm going to go with Whiplash Producing Moments. I wanted to showcase my manual dexterity with that one.
:)
I kind of thought that might be the case!
You're lucky I didn't go through with the one option that included White out PM. Very lucky.
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