While You Were at the Bar 6/4

News you can use:

We are witnessing history, people! Senator Barack Obama has clinched the Democratic nomination making him the first black person to lead a major party ticket. In addition to making our own Smartini Girl Niki very, very happy, countless millions of others are even happier that the damn primary is O-V-E-R. Next up: Veep speculation. Oh. Joy.

An uncommon type of Salmonella bacteria is at the root of 57 cases of illness reported in Texas and New Mexico. Health officials have traced the link between the cases to raw red plum, red Roma and round red tomatoes. Seven other states have reported cases of illness due to the bacteria but the tomato link is still being investigated. Alright, who's been slathering raw chicken all over the tomatoes? PS: Salmonella does not abide by the rules of Salmon with the no 'L' pronunciation. It's Sal-mo-nella. Now you won't look like a boob when discussing the tomato ugliness.

Richard Dutrow is at it again, talking up Big Brown before the Preakness Stakes this weekend. Dutrow said “What I see is a perfect horse, who is absolutely on top of his game. He cannot be beat.” Dutrow promised a win at the Kentucky Derby and boy did Big Brown deliver. And then again at the Belmont. If Big Brown wins the Preakness, he will be the twelveth Triple Crown champion. I think Dutrow is right. During both previous races you could see Big Brown holding back, holding back, holding back until he was allowed to hit fourth gear and then he smoked 'em. (Did you see my 'Big Brown delivered' pun? Hmm? Since he was named with UPS in mind?)

News you can lose:

Stephen Colbert addressed the senior class of Princeton University telling graduates "You can change the world... Please don't do that, OK? Some of us like the way things are going now." Ah, Colbert. You rock, in all the right ways.

Word of the Day:

apparate: (from Harry Potter fame) a magical form of teleportation, through which a witch or wizard can disappear ("Disapparate") from one location and reappear ("Apparate") in another. It is sometimes accompanied by a distinctive cracking or popping sound, though this is associated with ineptitude rather than success; copied straight from here.

Is Harry Potter considered a superhero since he can apparate?