shot of sass, served on (n)ice

Friday, May 2, 2008

While You Were at the Bar 5/2

Penelope T. Reporter here, stepping in for Megtini while she is away on important business.

If you're new to the bar, here's how we roll.

News you can use:
The DC Madam who ran the prostitution ring used by Sen. David Vitter was found dead on Thursday, having hung herself. Deborah Jeane Palfrey, 52, had been convicted by a federal jury on April 15 of several crimes, including running the escort service that "catered to members of Washington's political elite," money laundering, using the mail illegally, and racketeering. She was found in a shed near her mother's home with a nylon rope around her neck, having left at least two suicide notes whose contents have not yet been revealed. I guess she really didn't want to go to jail. Isn't that what scissors, hair dye, and a one-way ticket to a foreign country are for?

President Bush is asking Congress to approve his request for $770 million in international aid to help ease the rising cost of food in foreign countries, which has caused riots in places like Haiti, Cameroon, and Indonesia. Mr. President stated, "The American people are generous people and compassionate people. We believe in the timeless truth, to whom much is given, much is expected." To which I say, "Yes, W, but the American people are also broke." That upcoming tax rebate is only going to buy me so many boxes of Cocoa Puffs with all the food prices jacked up here in the US, too, you know what I'm saying?

Presidential candidate Barack Obama is apparently losing support at this stage in the race, possibly because he is being perceived as "elitist," and blah, blah, blah, blarg. This information will probably be different by the time you read it, and we can all only hope that one Democratic candidate (someone, anyone) will be chosen before we all take a page out of Deborah Jeane Palfrey's book (see above). Just pick someone already.

News you can lose:
Barbara Walters apparently had a long affair with a married US Senator back in the 1970s. An episode of Oprah will air on Tuesday in which Baba Wawa dishes the dirt on her tryst with Senator Edward Brooke, admitting they both knew the affair, if discovered, could ruin his career. BW mainly appeared on Oprah to promote her new memoir, "Audition," which will surely now become a best-seller now that she's dropped this bomb. Kudos, Barb.

WOD:

ebullient

Please use it in a sentence, or Megtini will be back on Monday to ebullient you for not even trying.

Thursday's WOD, epigone, means an undistinguished imitator, follower, or successor of an important writer, painter, etc, as in, "Penelope hopes she isn't considered an epigone of Megs on the news-reporting front!" Congratulations to Megs for her sentence, "I'm taking my epi-pen and epi-lady and we are epigone."

TGIFriday, y'all, or as we say at SmartiniBar: WTFriday!

1 tips left at the bar:

Anonymous said...

Fabulous fill-in reporting. Ebullient job, Pen!

I'm with you on, Hey, Mr. President, our food prices have been jacked up as well, or haven't you noticed?

Baba Wawa? that makes me laugh. I'm shocked to learn of her long-term affair. It's unbelievable she could sit on something like that for so long. . definitely smart to release it now as she's promoting her book. . and I assume the man's career is already over?