Late-breaking news on this WTFriday: Michelle Duggar, mother of 17 prairie-clothing-clad children, is pregnant yet again with kid number 18. Mama Duggar has officially been pregnant for 11 years total of her life and gets through the day by enlisting her small slave-nation to do all the housework, because lord knows there's plenty of it in their 7,000 square-foot house. The family, who all (with the obvious exception of Michelle) have names beginning in "J," is currently filming another special for Discovery Health, which I totally plan on watching with a giant glass of hard liquor in hand. The special will focus on the inner workings of the slave-nation, specifically the division of chores, or as the Duggars call them, "jurisdictions." Which roughly translates to coordinating 11,000 weekly loads of laundry and training the 4-year-old to serve the family breakfast. P.S. I hear she breastfeeds, to boot. Now, how it's even possible for her to get pregnant that many times while nursing seems an anomaly in and of itself, but what do I know. I do know that I'm unsure I could handle 3 kids with any semblance of patience and sanity, much less 18, at least not without a serious script for Quaaludes and perhaps a live-in bartender, serving up a day-long series of shots.
9 tips left at the bar:
OMG, you are killing me! This is some fine writing if I have ever seen it... and that picture illustrates the story perfectly!
If I remember correctly the 17 children have been delivered down south, which makes me wonder how copulation could be remotely enjoyable for either party?
These words come to mind: black hole of nothingness, echo-o-o-o, jackrabbits, funny farm, and finally, the old joke about bending over and spelling 'run' three times.
Wow.
I love that picture, it makes me laugh every single time.
Yeah, about that down-south delivery. I also have heard her say that labor is still work, even after so many children? Please. One would think the baby would just slip out onto the grocery store aisle floor one day while bending down to grab a can of soup! I'm sure that's what is going to happen to her uterus, inevitably. Clean-up on aisle 7! (Sorry, it's one of my favorite jokes and I can't stop telling it.)
Maybe Jim-Bob's outfitted some sort of compensatory attachment for travels into the Black Hole?
OMG, I'm bashing this family and must stop! I do hear they have a winning recipe for tater-tot casserole on their website! There, I feel better.
tater tot casserole or not, these people are seriously deranged. i guess they at least have the money and aren't expecting handouts or whatever. but seriously... it's called over population. take some freakin' responisbility for our world environment.
i don't feel like my uterus will ever be the same and i've only got two (and that's enough for me thank you very much...)
while i understand their clothing... i don't really understand michelle's hair at all. surely she has seen other people in public and realized that the 1980s have indeed passed...
though i guess there is something to be said about not caring?!?
not only should her uterus be out of commission... if she breast fed everyone of those kids how are her boobs not getting in the way of putting on her shoes? whatever!
by the way, the pic is freakin' hilarious... i am really going to have to take a break from reaind your blogs...
Whew! I'm so glad you said everything I was thinking about her boobs and hair! Saved me from myself.
The mullet is totally out of control.
Oh but also their kids are very well-behaved. For every 12 mean things I say, I really should try and throw in one nice thing.
Um, yes, boobs to the waist was my thinking on the breastfeeding bit... but also in that same zone, surely she has some looong 'pencil erasers'? That's dedication, right there.
Seeing Michelle's choice of hair style makes me think that her maternity clothes are probably a little outdated and frumpy as well. I feel compelled to send her something hip and cute and not at all appropriate for a mother of 17.
BTW, we all should give her props for going through umpteen pregnancies and not being enormous. If that were me, I would be as big as that 7,000 square foot house!
I SERIOUSLY think this woman has to have a few screws loose. She home schools all those kids too! I am all for home schooling, if you choose, but can't imagine having 17 kids around me all the time. I don't like how she has the older kids take care of the younger ones. I used to help with my younger siblings, but wasn't expected to raise them! Still, I will be watching all those specials on tv because I am strangely fascinated...
Megan- your comments are hilarious!
Holy crap, that picture is PRICELESS!! I don't know how, or in what way... but I need to work that in somewhere. Fridge? Or to mod-podge to my birth control packet? Hmmm...
OH! And it KILLS me how it's people like this who get the press about home-schooling. OF COURSE she home-schools all of her seventeen bleeding children. OF COURSE SHE DOES.
...gah. Sorry. As one once home-schooled in a non-religious, non-clown-car, liberal family environment, this sort of thing just chaps my ass.
does she think it is necessary to fertilize every one of her eggs!
Post a Comment