Taking shots and sending emails

(We're taking shots and writing apologies this week, a combination that generally doesn't turn out well. But don't let that stop us.)


Dear Tammy the Trailer House,

(I never did call you that, but if I had, I would have)

I was soooo sad to leave you way back over there in Kansas. OMG, it was soooo cold that day. And you were good to us, Tammy, I really, really, really liked you a lot. I Mean, A LOT. Even though you had ppaper walls and let a gajillion babillion mice in, we had some goode times! Over five whole years of good times, Tammy! I loved you A LOT I swear.

But I've got a secret and we're good enough friends that I tell you without you getting mad, right?

I like our new house better.

Don't cry please, are you mad? Oh damn, you're mad, I can tell. I'm so sorry Tammy, for naming you Tammy after I left and never even calling you that to your face and for being with our new house for only two months but liking it better than you already.

It's just that the new house is soooo big and I know you can't help your single wide ass status, but this place is soooo big! Did I tell you that I have a walk throught pantry? A WALK THROUGH PANTRY FROM THE KITCHIEN TO THE DINNING ROOM, TAMMY!

I'm sooo sorry to replace you so fasty, Tams. I hope you understand the lure of my panty?

Did I just say the lure of my panty? AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Did you just... hearme... ?! mY PANTIES ARE LURING EVERYBODY! LURING! hahjahaha! You don't care about my panties anymore though huh do you Tammy? Noooo sirree you do not. SORRY.

Dont forget the good timeses,

Ruby Dooby Doo