shot of sass, served on (n)ice

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

It's Too Late to Apologize

DearEveryone I Know (esp boyfriends),

I have been given an assignment for my blog in which I compose some sort of thing called "apology" while drinking.  Heretofore, I have consumed approximately one-half bottle of wine.*  Check that part off the list.

The thing is, I've been thinking about what to "apologize" for, and honestly there's just not that much.  Then I had a light-bulb moment and realized that that's it, that's the thing!

I'm terrilby sorry for being right all the time.  For me, it's really not a big deal, but I've come to realize that dealing with a person who is never wrong can be quite frustrating.  I imagine all kinds of envy and jealously.  Must be pretty painful dealing with your own inadequacies like that.

Since I've never been wrong in my entire life, not sure what comes after the "I'm sorry" part. Do I give you mnoye? A present? Sex?  That's what happens in the movies, and themovies are where I learned basically all there is to know about life.  Hmmm.

You.

Complete.

Me.

How was that? Am I forgiven? 

What if I post a gratuitous Youtube video? 



Damn. I'm gonna have to go with a blowjob, aren't I?

Love and hugs,
Nik

*No seariously. I have. Maybe more by now. Sorry. 

9 tips left at the bar:

Ruby said...

Apology accepted for all those times while we were living together that you were right/wrong and I was wrong/right. Now where's my sex?

Hahahaha!

(I've had wine too, so this all makes perfect sense! At least to me. Does it to you?)

niki said...

You'll just have to wait for the retreat for the sex, Rubes. Don't forget your pillow, barely-there night clothes, and pigtails!

penelope said...

Sorry for being right all the time, hee.

J.Lo insists that's what we're all doing at the retreat, btw...

niki said...

Wait...that's NOT what we're doing?! I feel misled.

Andria said...

Oh this is just classic Niki. I LOVE it. And I like that song and video, too, so it didn't hurt. Throw in some chocolate chip cookies at the retreat and I'm in.

tempe said...

This. Is. Awesome. Trademark Nik.

And it makes me miss you! So glad the retreat isn't too far off. :)

Bj in Dallas said...

is the retreat REAL or a weekly special? cause I may need to come supervise this group. Just came off my vaca and kept five other girls in line....except I forgot to keep myself there too!!

Heather said...

love, love, loved this - and can TOTALLY relate HA!

M said...

Where is my invitation to the retreat? As a serious martini girl, I thought I would have been top of the list. I am miffed!

However I do like your post...!