shot of sass, served on (n)ice

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Nikini: The Drinking Game

A couple of months ago for our weekly special we presented you all with "reality TV" versions of our lives.  I never quite made it into the bar to pitch my show, but let's just say this is the drinking game that would go along with it. (See, this is sort of like a 2 for 1 deal. Hey, the economy is hurting people, so we're here to help.)

Drink when:
* Alarm goes off - Niki's awake, Niki's a lawyer, and drinking is what lawyer's do best

* Niki walks the dog first thing in the morning; take two shots if she wears a bra; three shots if she can see her breath; keep chugging until the walk is over if there is snow on the ground

* Niki looks for two matching socks. . .chug until she matches (you will be drunk IMMEDIATELY)

* Niki uses ALL CAPS or italics when writing a blog post

* The judge finds Niki's client guilty; finish your glass in celebration if Niki wins

* A client's mother, wife, or baby-mama calls to make an appointment for him . . . and he's over 35

* Everytime you hear the phrase, "I'm not really tryin' to go to jail right now" or any iteration thereof

* A smarmy old man calls her "sweetheart" and puts his hand on her back

* Masala tries to eat trash; chug until Niki successfully extracts trash from his mouth; finish your drink if Masala swallows the nasty-thing first

* Niki eats a microwave dinner for supper

* The phone rings just as she's sat down to eat and watch 90210, Grey's Anatomy, or Gossip Girl; two shots if it's her mom; three shots if it's J; finish your glass if she actually answers the phone

* Everytime she thinks a boy is cute - in real life or on TV

* Whenever Niki takes a sip of water

* An inappropriate comment/joke is made in her workplace; two shots if you would consider the comment sexual harassment under normal working conditions

* A client tells her the cop is lying or vice versa; two shots if she catches either in a lie

* Niki goes out of town for the weekend

* She posts a picture of a hot guy on one of her blogs, gushing and swooning like a lovesick teenager

* Open a bottle of champagne and drink straight from the bottle if Niki does anything besides go to the gym, walk her dog, play on the computer, and sit on the couch watching TV on Sun-Thurs nights

4 tips left at the bar:

penelope said...

Loves it! All that liquor should keep you warm when walking the dog.

Hands down favorite is the smarmy old man. No wait--the men over 35 who need a personal secretary.

Megan said...

I can personally attest that anyone watching this show would be totally drunk within the first five minutes. I have seen how Niki searches for socks, drinkes gallons of water and casts an approving eye on men!

I'm in!

sheila said...

I think I'm drunk already...

Miss Thystle said...

(hiccup)