Brangelina Strikes Back

I never get my Entertainment Weekly on time, I always get it either on a Saturday, or even the following Monday or Tuesday after it comes out. I never, ever get it on a Friday. Ever. And I have been subscribing to the magazine for a long time. So imagine my surprise-turned-horror when I opened the mailbox this afternoon, first spying the EW header (cool!), and then realizing who the effing eff was on the cover.

That's right. The Brangelina Monster strikes again. It knew about my Weekly Special post before I even wrote it, I am sure. It spied on my brain, somehow, as only the Brangelina Monster is able, and orchestrated this nefarious plot to deliver this specific issue of EW to my mailbox early and send its message: YOU WILL NOT AVERT YOUR EYES FROM BRANGELINA. And true, I am now stuck with the damn thing in my living room until the next issue comes out. The Brangelina Monster is crafty, my friends, very crafty, and apparently not above getting personal. Sending me Angelina's giant head on an EW mag platter? I didn't see that one coming.