More mixed drinks

What would you be if you could be anything (and didn't have to worry about constraints like money, time, skills, etc.); what did you want to be growing up?



I've struggled with this Week's Special for some reason. I can't remember a strong desire to do something from my childhood; how sad is that? I feel like I lack passion and conviction, but honestly, I'm fairly happy doing what I do. I kind of stumbled into my job and it really suits me. I clearly remember floundering a lot trying to make a decision in college (how do you figure out what you want to do everyday for the rest of your life?) but, somehow it lead me here and I like my job - both of them. I wouldn't want to have to do either one more than I do. I think I have a good balance of getting out of the house, maintaining my sanity and feeling like I contribute (sure it's not glamorous, but I genuinely like what we do and how we do it) and having enough time to devote to my kids (sure, there's always the desire for more time and the guilt that I don't do enough by them, but overall, I feel balanced.) I just filled out a questionnaire for something and one of the questions on it was "what did you want to be when you grew up?" just like this week's special and I realized what I've always wanted was simple: to be a wife, a mom and happy. So, I've fulfilled that criteria and am pretty settled. I'm not good with change and vicious, cut-throat competition or corporate life. I like comfort and stability. I'm fortunate enough that my job is not so demanding or constricting that I get miserable. But, I am also glad not to stay home all day with the kids - I really like what the day care offers my kids (routine, schedules, learning, socialization) and I like what I get from my work (adult interaction, brain function utilization, but with the flexibility of still having a life and supporting a family.) [not to say SAHM don't use their brains daily!!]

Pretty lame, right? But, it's really not that I have this Utopian life; I'm just comfortable and don't have the motivation to put forth the effort to choose a different path - even in my fantasy world!

But, here's a taste of some of the things I had been thinking, but just didn't seem to measure up or really ignite any fire inside (I seemed to have a voice inside me that piped up with negatives for everything!) before I came to the realization that I was struggling because I was trying to come up with something different than what I have already:


I thought I'd want to possibly sing or do something musical - that's always been a skill I admired in others and desired for myself. But, after reading Ashley's awesome post and experiencing her raw emotions and deep-seated passion, I feel my wimpy, "yeah, I wish I could do 'something musical'" definitely pales in comparison and seems feeble and unworthy. Plus, I don't really want all the fame and traveling and touring that comes with it. Ashley has been in theatre and knows the rush of being on stage, but I shy away from the spotlight, big time! I've been signing my name over 700 times the past few days on a mass mailing we are sending out, so I'm quite content not to have to sign autographs on a regular basis!

It would be great to be a writer. If I could write, that is. But, the pressures of having to write and meet deadlines and constantly be critiqued would not be so great.


I always contemplated going into the medical field as well. A lot of work, a lot of hours, a lot of blood and yuckiness.


Many people have thought I'd end up teaching, and I've considered it. I've even thought about how, if I lost my job somehow, I'd probably apply at the day care right away. I think I'd enjoy it and be good at it and really take an interest in the kids, but again, I'd want to selfishly be spending that time with my own kids! And not use up my precious store of patience on someone else's child!


It'd be great to be an artist - maybe even a kid's artist and have my stuff sell in like Pottery Barn where I'd definitely be turning a profit, but someone more obscure and unique as well! There's more anonymity in that profession that the rock star route.


I love pictures and photography would definitely be something I'd love to know more about and be more skilled at and could see myself wanting to make something out of that interest.


There was a time, during and right out of college before I went into the "real world" and had to have a "real job" for the rest of my life, I really wanted to be a waitress or bartender (not that these aren't "real jobs" they just weren't what I was going to school to do, so they weren't in my chosen path), just to have had the experience of dealing with people like that and it felt like a rite of passage or something that so many people have gone through that I hadn't.

Once again, perhaps I should just desire to grow up and be able to make a damn decision. Enjoy your mixed drinks, with a splash of this thought and a dash of that run-on sentence, served up weekly by your friendly, but ever indecisive bartender.