Serving it up, Penelope-Style

In honor of WTFriday, some recent moments from my own universe.

*Sometimes when you're pregnant, the hair on your head grows at an alarming rate. It didn't happen with K.Lo, I didn't see any change in my hair whatsoever, but with N.Lo, my head sprouted enough hair for three people. And now, it's all falling out, all that new hair, by the handful. Clogging up the shower drain. WTF.

*N.Lo had a ruptured eardrum for two whole weeks and didn't complain about it, which is a huge WTF. But an even bigger WTF was that his dumb mommy didn't take him to the doctor sooner.

*My daughter is over two years old now and has never peed in the potty, not once, in her whole life. It's not that she doesn't understand pee-pee goes in the potty, or when it is that she's going pee-pee, or how to sit on the potty. She talks about the potty and pee-pee in the potty all day long. But she just can't let it go. I somehow feel responsible for this giant WTF, or at least the fact that I haven't figured out a solution yet, other than to just wait it out.

*The annual Air Show is this weekend, with practices this afternoon and shows Saturday and Sunday. And we all know how much K.Lo loooves the sound of regular airplanes, particularly during naptime, they just lull the girl right to sleep. Not even a little bit. These airplanes make it sound like Godzilla is about to be dropped via parachute into your backyard. WTF!

*And (drumroll please), today's biggest WTF. A lesson in physics: Girls, you're going to find this shocking, but a glass window does not, in fact, make a good pivot point for a crowbar! J.Lo and I decided to remove this kind-of-cool-but-ultimately-annoying-because-it's-impossible-to-paint piece of trim from our front door, and since we have sooo much going on this weekend, and because I am such a good wife, wanting to save my husband some time, I went ahead and tried to remove it myself. I pulled the six points off by hand and then in a fit of true brilliance, got out the ol' crowbar to finish the job. All the while thinking, Now I've just got to be careful and not break that glass! Because wouldn't that be a pain to fix. It took me under 3 seconds to completely shatter the pane, and thank God it was taped, because plenty of tiny shards littered the carpet as it was. So now we've got an even bigger problem on our hands than removing that trim piece, which by the way is still on the door. We've got to somehow replace that glass, ideally before company comes, like we have either the money or the time. Good job, pen! Although, for the record, I did earn an A in high school physics, despite not understanding a thing, and despite watching several taped episodes of Friends in that class, which for some reason the teacher put on TV when he had nothing else for us to do. Maybe that was the problem.

Your applause is ringing in my ears, and I bow to you.