El Tattoo

"I thought of the PERFECT name for a tattoo parlor here. El Tattoo? Get it?!" - Drunk girl in Puerto Rico, circa Summer 2005

Thank God my parents are smarter than me and read up on reverse psychology, because otherwise I'd be stuck with a cheesy dolphin tattoo on my ankle and probably have to change my name to Tawny. For my 18th birthday they offered to pay for the procedure, which for some reason took all the fun out of the idea. Parents approve? Nah, I'll pass.

As it stands, no tattoos for me at the mo'. That doesn't mean every so often I don't go through a phase of desperately wanting one. In college I really wanted one, but couldn't think of anything monumental enough to get permanently inked. Instead, I opted for an eyebrow ring. Honestly, I think it was the right move. It pissed off my father. It actually didn't hurt. And now I'm just left with two itty-bitty barely noticeable holes instead of the Union Jack or fighting Gator.

At some point in my mid-20s I decided that I wanted a sun tattooed on the bottom of my foot. Most people are fairly ticklish down there, but not me. I figured this solved the problem of sagginess and 60-year-old embarrassment. Unfortunately, it also almost completely defeats the purpose of getting a tattoo in the first place.

This past summer, in my bar-exam-studying fit of mania, I had serious yearnings for some ink. Perhaps I was dreading the real world and thought permanent markings would stave it off, who knows? At any rate, I currently want two tattoos. I want them each to be fairly small, one on each wrist (I had no idea this was such a popular location!).

On the left I want a teeny little sun - not an artsy, intricate, "girly" sort of sun, but a very minimalist depiction - a simple yellow circle with orange triangles around the circumference. There's a Ben Harper song, "She's Only Happy in the Sun" which pretty much sums me up to a T. At the beach, enjoying the sunshine I'm my very best me; the sun tatt would remind me to be happy, to look on the bright side even when everything sucks.

Like this, but not so fat, and larger, fewer rays.

Over on the right (and no, I don't know how I decided which wrist gets which picture, but it just feels right this way), where was I? Oh yeah, on the right, I want a tiny little blue wave. Again, nothing elaborate, just a simple wave. This is also connected to the beach and swimming and surfing, but more than that, water has always made me feel at peace. My astrological sign is, like, the fire sign (something I've also considered getting done), so maybe this makes sense? When I'm spazzing out, it would calm me down, remind me to just ride the wave so to speak.

Similar to one of these guys, but less curly

But sadly, I'm a 'fraidy cat and haven't taken the plunge just yet. I'm worried some juror will see them and think (rightly or wrongly so) that I'm a "hussie" and take it out on my client. For now, I remain sans ink, but you never know...maybe I'll be that nutter in the nursing home who goes balls out on her 80th birthday and gets a nekkid man wrapped around her arm in neon green!