Out with a bang 10:50 PM

So. . it's DECEMBER, ya'll!

What do you have left you want to get done in 2009?

Comment Card: It's Monday 9:04 AM

Can we say OHIM for Oh Hell It's Monday? Probably so since most of our problems probably do relate to a Him. So OHIM, y'all.

It's Monday, and I'm _______________________.




* eating oatmeal with a fork.
* already behind.
* sleep deprived.
* tired of leftovers.
* moving to Texas in a month.
* going to work out like a mad woman.
* glad my children are back in school.

Full of Thanks 9:06 PM

Hope everyone had a Happy Turkey day, counting blessings and not carbs! ;)

I'm a week late, but felt it appropriate to share today the list I'd been making, but just never got around to posting last week.

*Midol (we won't mention the migraine I later got that wasted an entire day and then some)

*New laptop and work to do on it!

*Healthy family (not complaining that both of my kids turned into snot factories and coughing machines after adding this to the list, still very healthy in general)

*Diet Cherry Coke

*Supportive, loving family and friends - of the encouraging and understanding variety.

*the lake

*pictures

*hulu

*sunshine and cool weather

*a weekend at home

*billable hours (see #2 above)

*helpful and generally polite children

*free places to play and eat

*the Internet

*grandparents that are willing to watch dogs and kids so I can spend 2 hours staring at some steamy abs and mesmerizing eyes on the big screen (even despite hair issues and adjusting to character/actor choices and critiquing the kissing)

*travel size perfume bottle and pump lotion that twists to lock so it doesn't get everywhere

*yummy food and quality time preparing it

*a husband that suggested getting up early and going out on Black Friday to get some shopping done!

Let’s Discuss 6:45 PM

Some of this is NSFW, but I presume most of you won’t be W-ing the next few days anyway. We have to talk about this series of products! Particularly items number… well, I’ll let you decide.

taylor fugsen 9:51 AM

Once upon a time, Taylor Momsen was cute. Pretty, even. Little J had great hair and awesome style.

Now, I seriously feel like Ms. Momsen is morphing into a bleached-blonde, overdone cross between Lady GaGa (not a good thing) and Courtney Love (def. not a good thing).

Case in point - here's before. So cute, even with the headband a la Blair Waldorf:





And now, here's her impression of a too-skinny Lady Gaga/Mrs. Curt Cobain:

Honey, your hair is too blond, and it's dark outside, so sunglasses (esp those) really aren't needed. And eat something, please. You're beginning to look like a bobblehead.

I'd like the old Little J back, please...

The Twi-Fug Hair Saga 2:30 PM

So I went on a date with my boyfriend, Edward, last night, and it was amazing. I mean, he left me for months, sending me into a deep, dark depression, yadda, yadda, and then I had to fly to Italy before he had his head permanently cracked off by a less-than-savory posse of the Italian vampires. But he came back to me eventually, and now we’re happier than ever. In the meantime, while Edward was gone, bonus! I was able to spend some quality time with my best friend Jacob and his abs. It was 108 degrees hot.

I had a *small* issue with the wolf pack’s choice of shorts, like they were a smidge tight, or something? Not quite from this decade. But I won’t quibble. Tight shorts can’t possibly be considered a problem, considering views from both the waist down and the waist up.

My main fashion contention is with Jasper’s hair. Why. That is my only question. Just, why.

Viewers of the sadly short-lived ABC Family show, Beautiful People, will recall that Jackson Rathbone is supposed to look like THIS:

Not…THIS:

I understand that Jasper is supposed to be blond, and perhaps reminiscent of a certain historical period, i.e. the Civil War. But how is a goofy blond perm okay to put on this man? It just isn’t right. He looks, in a word, ree-diculous. Stylists could have done better. Not only would they have saved Rathbone from looking like Ronald McDonald’s somber vampire cousin, but they would have upped the overall hotness factor for the Twilight franchise. Like that’s even necessary—but still. Two movies left, people. Get Jasper right.

Fugtastic. 7:52 PM

Ya'll know those girls over at Go Fug Yourself, right?

Well, this week, we're trying on their hats and bringing you some WTFug? posts throughout the week. . .you know, in honor of Thanksgiving and all. (And if you see that connection, then Salut!, because you've had as much wine as I have tonight.)

To get us started, I bring you a "preview" of the Playgirl issue we've all been waiting for.

No.

Not Robert Pattinson (or Taylor Lautner). But close. Levi Johnston. (link possibly NSFW, but nothing crazy) UPDATE: NSFW! Totally did not see the sidebar until Bj & Andi commented! Sorry ladies!

My two cents - dude's ok, but not really Playgirl material. Especially his butt. I'm not hatin', I'm just sayin'.

thankful 8:45 AM

For…

• Five years of marriage (today!) that have been far easier to keep beautiful than I’d ever imagined.
• Two healthy, beautiful kids that are simultaneously the greatest challenge and joy of my life.
• Friends, the full range, from acquaintances to besties. You are all important.
• Modern conveniences, from the Internets to digital photography to Rain-X. They are all a wonder.
• EW magazine, the highlight of my Friday.
• Good, smart, fun TV, in spite of what the critics think.
• The music that gets us each through the day.
• Words. The ability to write them, to read them, etc.
• Sales, and the savvy imparted over a lifetime by my mother to navigate them.
• Yoga.
• Freedom.
• Faith.

It's the little things. 11:08 PM

In addition to Tempe's and Ruby's lists, for which I am also super-duper thankful because her mom is one kick-ass mo-fo, dogs f-ing rule, and Eric Northman is H-O-T, I am also giving thanks for the little things in life:

* My iPod - without which I would probably go crazy

* Awesome friends - without which I would definitely go crazy

* Rafael Nadal - yeah, I give up. I'm crazy anyway.

I know this seems like a short list, but honestly, my dog, my iPod, and my friends are keeping me afloat, and that coupled with a little eye candy is all a girl really needs (not counting family, shelter, food, and water).

giving thanks, in list form 3:48 PM

I'm thankful for:

*My parents.

*My husband.

*The anti-viral drug Peramavir, the drug that very likely saved my mother's life last week.

*Hugs - from someone special - or from a random stranger that sees you need one while you're crying your eyes out in the ICU waiting room.

*Kind nurses and doctors who treat you like people, not sicknesses or numbers on a list.

*Good friends - for their prayers, thoughts, e-mails, text messages, food, laughter, and support.

*Answered prayers.

*Sweet tea.

Thankful for: Vampires 6:22 PM

Also, I am thankful for: New Moon's release!

(I saw this in the window of a car at my work. How awesome is that?! And yes, that would be me in reflection.)



Totally unrelated, can get y'all to weigh in on this conundrum?

My local theater has a midnight showing of New Moon, but then a 11 o'clock showing on Friday morning. How lame am I if I go to the midnight show where the average age will be well below 20? Or should I just revel in the fact that I can go at 11 AM (a time when all of the midnight show-goers are in school) and be lame with women closer to my age, which is in fact not 20?

What do you think?

Thankful for: Dogs 9:51 AM

We are completing this sentence this week:


I am thankful for ___________.


Since I am thankful for lots and lots of things, I don't think I can confine myself to just one post. To get me started, here is one thing that I am absolutely thankful for: the love of a dog.


Dog Goes Nuts During Soldier Homecoming - Watch more Funny Videos


HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!

Comment Cards #5 12:44 AM

Please complete the following sentence with your anticipatory words of wisdom:



I'm so glad it's Friday because I'm going to _________________________.


Shall I?

* get the hell outta here
* have a drink OR TWELVE
* celebrate my baby girl turning 2!
* finally catch up on all of the stuff I didn't do this week
* knock off work early

Comment Cards #4 Let Fly 12:53 AM

Please complete the following sentence with your unfiltered words of wisdom:



If I could, I would just love to say __________________________.

May I?

* DAMMIT!
* shut. the. hell. up.
* monkeys could do this, why can't you?
* I'm taking the day off
* I'll take it
* your kid needs to see #2

Comment Cards #3 So Shut Up 12:36 AM

Please complete the following sentence with your defiant gems of wisdom:



I don't care what y'all say, I'm going to ____________________ anyway.


Ruby's first:

* go to the tanning bed
* go through the drive through
* procrastinate
* live in blind fear of cockroaches

Comment Cards #2 Why oh why? 12:44 AM

Please complete the following sentence with the wisdom that can only come from experience:



Why in the hell did I ___________________________ ?



Allow me:

* eat the whole damn thing?
* say Yes?
* push snooze 17 times?
* think that this was a good idea?
* spend all of my money?
* have that last drink?

Comment Cards #1 Liars 12:41 AM

Please complete the following sentence with your wise words of wisdom (I totally wanted to spell wisdom, wisedom, but spell checker says no. Makes sense to me!):



Those jackasses LIED when they told me _________________________.



May I suggest:

* you can highlight your hair at home, from a box
* it tastes like chicken
* those shoes are totally hot
* you look the same as you did in high school
* there aren't any cops on that road
* it will only hurt for a minute