I’ve Got the White, Who Has the Red & Blue? 9:00 PM

I’m not normally a big fan of vodka, due to some dark history with the substance, but lately, I like a good White Russian. My husband was a bit tight-fisted with the recipe, but finally agreed to divulge the all important ratios of vodka, Kahlua, and cream.

Use a tumbler for this drink, about an 8 oz. glass, with ice.

2 shots of vodka

2 shots of Kahlua

Fill to the rim with either milk, or half and half.

Tasty, tasty, tasty. Happy 4th! And if you’re up to the challenge, leave red and blue drink suggestions in the comments, especially blue, which seems so rare. I remember something about a Blue Motorcycle at some restaurant back in the day…

If you like Pina Coladas 12:46 AM

And getting caught in the rain. . if you have half a brain (hey, it’s in the lyrics), you can whip up these tasty treats.

I am at the lake every year for the 4th of July and prefer a nice, cold fruity concoction in hand. Here are the ingredients I use, after years of research in college:

~Bacardi Pina Colada mix (found in the freezer section with the cans of OJ and other frozen juice)

~Parrot Bay coconut rum

**secret key ingredient: Pina Colada yogurt! It makes them so smooth and creamy (You can use this trick with other flavors, too, like strawberry daiquiri, just match the yogurt flavor with the frozen mix.)

~ice

put in blender, pour in glass, voila!

I'm drinking Knock You Nekkid Margaritas! 8:48 PM

This weekend marks a fine time for sharing some of our favorite refreshing beverages with you, don't you think? One of my favorite cocktails (when I'm not having beer) is this Knock You Nekkid Margarita! It is so good, and oh-so easy to make.

Please note: if you get knocked nekkid with these margaritas, and are having a good time, please refer to them as the title states - NEKKID. If, however, you are nekkid and it isn't a pretty sight (like, oh, I don't know, when you throw up on yourself and people have to help you get cleaned off), then please use the term NAKED. Nekkid is for having fun, naked is an embarassment, FYI.

Knock You Nekkid Margaritas

1 12 oz can lemonade concentrate, thawed
12 oz 7 Up
12 oz bottle or can of beer
6 to 12 oz tequila

Mix all together. Using the lemonade can to measure the 7 Up and tequila makes it a cinch!

Two things: You might want to strain the lemonade if you don't like pulp and I found that 9 oz of tequila makes it plenty strong. If you use 12 oz, you might need to change the name to Knock You Out Margaritas! Either way, beware because these go down easy and pack a punch!

I'll drink to that!

I feel the need to do some laundry 8:26 AM

No, not that laundry, Andria (because I know that's how you think)!

There has been a string of celebrity deaths, and I don't know if I can take much more. I mean, I'm not even that big of a celebristalker and I feel the loss, man.

Oh, Ed, I had dreams about you and that gigantic check from Publisher's Clearinghouse knocking on my door... And Farrah, what would the world be without your feathered influence?... And Michael! I absolutely jammed to Thriller in our living room when I didn't know enough to snicker at Beat It.

But the thing that's going to sting the most is the passing of Billy Mays because I was one of the sad individuals who got sucked into Pitchmen on The Discovery Channel. I sort of bonded with Billy's shoutastic style and laughed every time he gave the thumbs up. Who is going to hock OxiClean now, kids? I don't know if doing laundry will ever be the same... Ok, it probably will be since I don't even use OxiClean, but I might, and then what?!

(Can I be absolutely horrible and make a connection between these four? A poster of Farrah, Beat It, 'YES!' and the need to do laundry. And now I'm bad, I'm bad, you know it, I'm bad!)

WTFriday: This is insane 6:00 AM

Here's one thing I did not miss one iota while in Kansas: KUDZU (cud-zoo, for the uninitiated).

This vine grows like the devil, because I'm pretty sure it came from the devil, and it will take over anything that doesn't move for more than, oh, two minutes. It's all over the place in the south, and it's really pretty sad to see so many fences, old cars and slow moving children covered in it. One thing that I have never, ever seen, however, is a HOUSE covered in kudzu.

I solemnly swear there is a house underneath this madness and that I am not on hallucinogenic drugs. Swear.

(Be sure to notice the high quality as-I-drive shots... Nothing but the best photographic evidence for this blog!)



I'm thinking that this would make one HELL of a haunted house come Halloween... Yes?

Oopsies 12:53 AM

If I found myself in such a predicament of having this body I had to get rid of, I would call:

My Hubby – he’s level-headed, intelligent and supportive (even if he might disapprove or have a few choice words about the situation). And could take it to his grave without ever telling another person.

He comes from good stock, so I’d also reach out to his parents. They are the type to take care of their own – his mother is very much a mother hen and would do whatever it takes to protect her chicks. And they aren’t afraid to get dirty.

And he must have a good judge of character, because I wouldn’t hesitate to call Hubby’s best friend (our long-time friend) because he’s of the same upbringing of doing what it takes to help out a friend (usually just in return for a handle of Crown, but perhaps this favor would require two) and can keep it to himself.

My Littlest Brother –The Black Sheep of the family. As such, he has had his share of run-ins with the law, so can’t judge. Also, he probably knows someone who knows how to do it properly. I’m just saying, he runs in that kind of circle. Well, maybe not quite that kind of circle, but all of those circles are kind of intertwined, right?

I’m not sure I would call Niki, because she’s got a duty and taken an oath, right? And I wouldn’t want to put her in that situation. Or is the oath of “do no harm” a medical thing and the duty to uphold the law is if you are an officer of the law? And maybe it only counts in the state where she practices, so since she’s all the way up in NC and I’m down here in GA, we might not have a problem after all? Or, at the very least I could call her with some hypothetical questions about “my friend” that finds herself in this predicament and I’m sure she’d help me out.

I Solemnly Swear I’m Up to No Good 8:00 PM

I’m told that the person I killed off won’t be missed by anyone (who is s/he? I’ll never tell!), but regardless, the murder does seem to have been a law violation, and I’m left with the pesky problem of thorough, untraceable disposal. Sigh. And blood stains are so difficult to get out of clothes!

For assistance in this delicate matter, I would consult the following:

• McNamara & Troy of “Nip/Tuck.” Not only because Julian McMahon is smoking hot and would provide attractive scenery during the burial, but because they’ve got experience. Down to the bayou to visit the alligators, y’all…
• Mendacious. She’s a deeply spiritual person and *may* have take small issue with my ending a life, but ultimately, she is my partner-in-crime, period. And, if sorted at Hogwarts, she would have been a Slytherin. She has more than a glint of the devious in her eye.
• Niki, because this girl knows the law. And she will not mince words in telling you exactly what you need to do and what you should avoid when attempting to outsmart the justice system. Additionally, she will be able to lead us all in a cleansing yoga session afterward. (Christian Troy doing yoga, mmm…)
• J.Lo (my husband), who is practical, level-headed and smart and will not only help devise a plan with every small detail addressed, but will also be very motivated: If I go to jail, who will watch the kids??

Lastly, who wouldn’t I tell? K.Lo, my three-year-old. Not so much good at secrets yet, that one, and I’m guessing she’d rat me out in 5 minutes or less. Oh, and I suppose the situation might be rather traumatizing. I’m already responsible for a hefty portion of future therapy bills without dragging the poor child into this mess… 

An Inconvenient truth OR How I took out Mr. Better Than You and now find myself in need of help 8:39 PM

So I've got this body, see. And I don't know if I really want to go into details about exactly whose body it is, but let's just say that it is someone you might recognize from television who gets all judgey with people and looks down his nose at them. And he did it one too many times for my liking, and I'm sorry, I just had to mow him down. I HAD TO.

So I've got this body, and it's a real pain in my rear. Of course he would be a pain in the ass, even when dead! OF COURSE HE WOULD. In such a case as this, I'm going to need a wee bit of assistance to handle this very inconvenient matter, and I can think of no other people I would rather call than:

• My husband. The man swore for better or for worse and I'm pretty sure this constitutes worse. But he's brilliant with coming up with logistics and plans and Save-Your-Ass maneuvers, so I'm absolutely calling my husband. At least this way, if I get caught, he won't be blindsided by the fact that I offed a morning TV show host. Matter of fact, he probably won't be surprised at all, as much as he hears me muttering about him under my breath.

• Moms. Yep, my moms. She's got the skills that this girl would need and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't flinch at helping out her baby girl. She probably can't stand the guy either, if I know her.

• My fantastic friends A and S Dubs. These are the most rational and level headed people around and would easily be able to think clearly when times got tense. The last thing I need with a murder conviction knocking on my door is to be freaking the hell out! No, the Dub duo would be shocked, and may even preach a little of the gospel, all while helping me dig the hole.

• MS. NIK! I told you I would! Niki is the woman who has all the pertinent knowledge for avoiding a jail sentence right at the very forefront of her sizable brain. I will need her, because 'I'm not trying to go to jail right now'! Knowing how often Niki and I disagree when it comes to our taste in food, boys, organic toothpaste, etc., she probably likes the deceased... but I don't think that will stop her from looking out for her girl. I hope?

Not that I want to get all into the details of a supposed offage (Do you see me trying to distance myself from words like I DID IT and HE DESERVED IT? Niki told me to. Such a smart girl.) but I did recently see a show on the Discovery Channel about these little catfish in the Amazon that freaking eat people that would be a rather handy way of disposing of a body. IF someone were to have one lying around. It would just be handy, is all I'm saying.

(Oh, and I would call BJ, because she said we could. And then she would make us refreshing drinks, if I know her.)

May we talk for a moment about this: 1:31 PM

So I'm a few days late for WTFriday...but this must be discussed. What the EFF is Drew thinking?

(btw, this post is my pathetic attempt to wade back into the blogging waters after an extended absence for which I have no excuse.)

We've got a murderous look in our eyes 10:20 PM

You can thank Niki's career as a criminal defense lawyer for this week's special, because it all has to do with murder. And dead bodies. And who our most likely accomplices would be.

This week we're going to be offing someone and will find ourselves in need of getting rid of a very inconvenient body. Who we gonna call?! Ghostbust--- Probably not, but we will be detailing who we trust to help us out in an illegal pinch, and exactly why we would call upon these people. (My guess is that each one of us will include Ms. Nik on our list because, HELLO, SHE'S A CRIMINAL DEFENSE LAWYER. She knows exactly what kind of evidence to not leave!)

Cowabunga, dude! 10:07 PM

My immediate reaction to this question: race car driver.  Then I realized the question was not "which sport would you most want to play professionally" but "If you could be given the skills, which sport would you want to play professionally."  Any of you that has ridden in the car with me can attest that I do, in fact, possess the requisite skills to be a race car driver.  Lead foot. Reckless abandon. Competitive drive to beat everyone. Pretty much it, right? I just don't have investors to back me and all that jazz.

But the skills I don't possess, but would give my firstborn child to have, are these:



Trust me. I've tried. It ain't pretty. What IS pretty are the surfer boys you'd get to hang out with and the abs o' steel and toned butt you'd get. Not to mention you'd be a badass.

Meet my new BFF: Greek couscous salad 10:34 AM

As I was making a grocery list last week, I got bored with myself and the same old standby options that I turn to for supper. I wanted to mix things up a bit! Try something new and different! Somehow I decided that couscous was the kick in the pants that I needed - except that I had no idea what to do with it. Or even what it tasted like. Or looked like. BUT THAT DIDN'T MATTER. I was a woman on a mission!

I did what all good little girls do, and turned to the internets to find a recipe with couscous. My most favorite site for recipes, All Recipes, didn't me down, and after a quick ingredients search for couscous, I found this recipe for a Greek couscous salad. It spoke to me, y'all. (I have a very large part of food heart devoted to feta cheese and olives.)

As is always the case with recipes that are as flexible as this one, I nipped and tucked it a bit to suit my tastes. What I came up with was a salad so fantastic that I considered eating it all by myself. The kids won't like it, I thought, and neither will my husband, so I won't even offer it to them... except that they did like it. Love it, even. I was kind and shared my new Best Food Find (BFF) with the fam, and then greedily went to the store to gather more ingredients for my very own supply. I think I have a problem.... ?

Please join me in my stingy hoarding of fantastic food by whipping up your own very easy, very customizeable Greek Couscous Salad.

(If you are a die hard numbers-by-the-book kind of cook, please look away.)

Greek Couscous Salad

1 (10 oz.) box of couscous
cucumber, seeded and chopped
cherry tomatoes, halved
red onion, chopped
olives, sliced (whichever variety you prefer)
1 (6 oz.) container crumbled Feta cheese
Greek viniagrette salad dressing

1. Prepare couscous according to package directions. Transfer to a large bowl, fluff with a fork and allow to cool.

2. Add desired quantities of cucumber, tomatoes, onion and olives to couscous, mix well.

3. Add salad dressing until salad reaches desired moistness.

YOU NEED THIS SALAD IN YOUR LIFE!

In it to win it 4:00 PM

I always thought I’d like to be a gymnast, if I could “play” professionally. The sport is just so damn beautiful, and I cannot tear my eyes away come the Summer Olympics. I mean, obviously it would be quite a commitment of time, money, and other resources. Lots of travel and leotards. The loss of my youth. I fully imagine my teacher would be inspiring but mean, like Bela K, and my self-esteem would suffer, as well as my ability to have a monthly period.

But, the payoff would be GOLD.

There is the *small* hurdle of my tripping over my own two feet while walking, and the fact that I never could learn how to do a cartwheel. Details, schmetails… and another life required.

Here I go, being vain again 3:08 PM

I was asked to write about what sport I would like to have the skills to play professionally and it left me a bit confused. I mean, who doesn't consider baton twirling a professional sport? CERTAINLY NOT ME since I have been a bona fide professional since 4th grade, thankyouverymuch. (Really, the nerve of some people! Acting as if I didn't get paid to wow the world with my spins and flips and twirls and tosses! Wait, I haven't picked up a baton is ages. And never once did I get paid to prance around in a bathing suit-esque uniform with my knee high boots. Crap.)

Moving on the *ahem* real sports, I think I'd like to go with... water skiing. Honestly I have no idea if you consider such a professional sport, but I figure that someone, somewhere gets paid to have a killer bod that is warmed by the sun and to play in the water, right? (Something about human pyramids and crack pot stunt skiers is coming to mind, but nevermind.) I want that finely muscled, well tanned, water bunny to be ME. And I'd like to make lots and lots of cash. Can somebody work that out for me? I've been water skiing a handful of times and I wasn't bad at all! I only recall a few runs ending with my arms and legs with the rigidity of limp noodle, and only once did I catapault, cartwheel, skid and slide before losing the bottom of my suit and getting examined in a very personal way by the water. Only once!

If you, for whatever reason, don't consider water skiing a professional sport then I'll choose baseball, just to please you. Really, there are only two reasons that I would choose baseball (not softball, kids, I mean baseball) as my top sport: 1) there is no hope of me ever developing the skills to play on my own and 2) I would be really popular with the boys. GOOD HEAVENS, DOES MY VANITY EVER END?!

Just in case you aren't disgusted with me already, I'll throw in a link to this post where I toot my own horn regarding miscellaneous skills that I have. And this one where I dream about a skill I'd like to have (read: vanity too - what is wrong with me?).

Maybe I Might Be a Little Bit. . . 12:39 AM

*tipsy
*worried
*relieved
*thankful
*achy
*DRINKING WATER
*anxious about our deck rebuild (can we make some decisions and get started already?!)
*ready for the beach at the end of the month
*in love with Hulu.com that possibly will allow me to watch the season finales we lost when our TiVo locked up over the weekend [devastation!]
*sad we have to say goodbye to the real TiVo and go with some DiVo alternative (DirecTV DVR)
*retyping a lot because of mistakes (fingers don't seem to be going where I think they should)
*craving soft cookie cake
*cursing non-existence of cookie cake in the pantry
*planning to make cinnamon muffins in the morning before heading down to the hospital to visit sister-in-law (26 and had heart surgery yesterday! Doing well, just in pain and long recovery ahead)
*neurotic about grammar and spelling (TGFSC - Thank God for Spell Check!), but super lax on piles and organization
*sleepy
*behind on emails and blog posts
*concerned what this will look like in the morning, but too far gone to really care. . .

Coerced Confessions are Inadmissible 10:03 PM

For the record: Never, ever, ever, never, ever write, state, sing, draw, or otherwise confess to anything to anyone. Not the cops, not your best friend, not even your dog. You could confess to your spouse and then claim marital privilege and try to prevent them from testifying against you, but that has so many holes and exceptions that it's best just to keep a secret a secret and carry on normally.

For Ruby: I will play along lest she beat me up.

I'll Admit I . . .:

* have 4-5 dog toys lying around the house when the dog trainer told me to keep them all put away unless actually playing.

* have developed a semi-addiction to The O.C. on DVD (only on Season 2, so please no spoilers!).

* sometimes want a husband. No, not for romantical "I'm in love forever and always let's have babies and be soulmates reasons." Rather, it would be nice to have a tax break, an extra income to buy a house/pay bills, tax deduction for purchasing said house, help around the house, someone to cook, someone to help walk the dog, etc.  If any of you are/know gay men who want to be my "life partner," but still feel free to date whomever they please, send them my way.

* am emotionally involved in the outcomes of certain tennis matches. (*Ahem* Ruby, please remember that I didn't say anything about the dreadful health effects of frying your innards in the tanning bed.)

* can be a self-obsessed bitch sometimes.

* am about to hit "publish post" and have a cup of blueberry frozen yogurt before bed. Shhh. Don't tell my ass.

I’ll admit I… 3:30 PM

• Am like, a completely different person when I have PMS. Part cranky, all moody, and more than slightly neurotic. Occasionally suffer from paranoid delusions. It’s terrible, and I hate it! Wish to take vacation from self during this *special* time.
• Don’t wear makeup. Used to do up my eyes at least, on occasion, but then I ran out of mascara, and so gave up. Haven’t thought about it since.
• Have never had a pedicure due to secret, non-PMS-related paranoia that my toes are ugly and will be talked about after I leave the spa. (Really want one, though.)
• Miss having my brows done once a month. Haven’t had them done in over 3 years. They used to look cool...
• Might have a new addiction: yoga.
• Cancelled my Twitter account yesterday. Again. 
• Always look ahead to the last few pages of a book to see how it will all turn out.
• May spend more time browsing Netflix, picking out movies to rent, than watching actual movies.
• Actively seek out Grey’s Anatomy spoilers for next season.
• Really wish I could have some peace and quiet between 2 and 4 PM! Shhh! Please. I don’t want to answer the questions and tend to the needs of those under 3 1/2 feet.
• Used to be in marching band! Flute player, flag twirler.
• Priced out tickets for NKOTB’s current tour. (Too expensive, but really wanted to see Joey live and in person again.)
• Have thought to self more than once while cleaning up potty accidents: Where’s the phone book? Am calling to schedule vasectomy.

This may be one of those posts that y'all just ignore 9:28 AM

Shaving tips from Gillette.

For men.

Not for their face.




This is totally real and terribly funny (if you think low brow things are funny like me).

Forgive me, for I have... 11:48 AM

... the messiest desk with the most insane assortment of stuff on it.

(This picture was taken one night when I had my online class but had to keep one eye on the kids since my husband was at work.)

Legend:

1. Husband's saddle in the corner
2. Diaper and wipes, just in case
3. Snack!
4. The only thing related to class on the whole desk
5. Bottle of weedeater oil I found my 18 month old trying to put in her mouth
6. Bottle of Kids Pepto that I had to open and dispense to my oldest
7. Two beers that are decidedly EMPTY
8. Class that I'm supposed to be paying attention to
9. Webcam that isn't plugged in but I would swear is still watching me
10. Baggie of misc. stuff from the move - 6 months ago
11. String cheese wrappers (snack for girls)
(not numbered, but there nonetheless: two phones (one plugged in, one not), a flashlight, a Tractor Supply mouse pad, big pile of papers yet to be filed)

As if that wasn't bad enough, I'm going to go ahead and admit that I...

... have an irrational fear of cockroaches. I don't like the little ones, but those big boys will send me into fits of hysteria. AND I MEAN IT. I somehow think they are going to run over and crawl up my leg or, if they are already dead, that they will come to life and crawl up my arm when I pick them up.

... have the longest, skinniest toes in the history of humans or apes.

... am in love with our new design, which wouldn't be so bad except that I'm the one who did it.

... (may or may not) go to the tanning bed.

Feeling better already,
(and no yelling about the TB),
Rubes

Barrom Confessions 11:24 AM

As bartenders, we are used to hearing all kinds of juicy confessions from our patrons. I mean, we hear so many confessions that we're almost like priests, really... (Am I going to be struck down for making such a ghastly comparison? Maybe not? Then I'll carry on...)

This week we are turning the tables and admitting things to YOU. Put on your collar, kids, you might need it!

Don’t Sweat It 10:30 PM

I’m not normally a big sweater, either, which is perhaps why I can get away with the audacious hippie deodorant concoction that I now use every day. It’s hand-made, smells lovely and good, and does nothing to inhibit sweat. SO, now that it’s nearly summer, and also now that I’ve joined a gym, I’m discovering just how dicey this whole process of pit-sweat (ew!) can be. I try not to think about it too much, but throughout the day, I’m secretly wondering if I smell bad to outsiders. This would not please me. I also no longer can get away with wearing shirts two or three times before laundering them. It is one time, and one time only.

The hippie deodorant certainly requires two or three applications throughout the warmer days, but so far, I’m generally satisfied, and am sticking to it. I’m not saying antiperspirants are bad, or that they cause breast cancer or Alzheimer’s, or some other such nonsense. I’m not sure anyone really knows the answer to that question yet. All I know is, antiperspirant made me nervous. Maybe it made me so nervous that my body tried to sweat more, but I wouldn’t known it. I just felt… blocked, or something. I can’t really explain it. My boobs and armpits kind of hurt. (Eeek, I feel like I’m treading all too heavily on Tempe-unfriending-territory at this point.) I didn’t really understand why, I just knew that I should probably move on to a different product.

I tried the Kiss My Face roll-on, and it does perform well on a touch-up basis, but overall, I see sweat-river potential on a hot summer day. No thank you. And I tried a few other “natural” deo’s, including Jason brand, which also made my armpits, i.e. my lymph nodes, hurt. So anyway, now I use some mother-effin’ hippie concoction of baking powder, cornstarch, and other good-smelling stuff that comes in a metal tin that doesn’t travel well and can be very difficult to open. Whatever! It works. I think.

Basically, I’m not a fan of this whole *sweat* situation. I say, you just do what you got to do, and try to smell and look pretty while doing it.

I don't sweat, I glisten! 10:07 PM

I typically don't sweat profusely, but since I have taken up running and especially now that it's getting hotter outside, man! ick. And I feel like I keep sweating. .even after I shower. But, it's still nothing compared to my kickboxing instructor that is just drenched and dripping after class with just the outline of her thong the only dry patch of her clothing. No, seriously, it's bad. Like she peed herself, but I've gotten used to it now. And it's because she works so hard and is so tiny and probably consumes a gazillion gallons of water. Anyhoo. .


One of the first places I start to sweat is the small of my back. I find this odd, so I wanted to know if there were others out there. Then, my hairline! Forehead and back of neck right at hairline - not dripping, but moist. Then, sometimes along the side of my nose, like under my eyes. And the fold of my arm (opposite elbow) especially when running with bent arms. I guess there is underarm sweatage, too, but it's not too extreme or a main concern. Oh and there's definitely the underboob puddle.


As for things that make me sweat. .whew, that's a long list!
*Bathing suit (or any clothes really) shopping, which I undertook today with my 19 month old in tow!
*Public speaking or presentations
*Confrontations (although, I'm much better at arguing now, it still makes me nervous and gets me flustered)
*Bathtime with the kids. It's hard work, ya'll! I know not to take my shower first, that's for sure because I'll just need another one!
*The health and safety of my family and friends.
*Good Laundry!
*Tight, enclosed spaces, especially with other people (packed concerts, tiny spiral never-ending staircases, coffins, you know)
*Embarassing myself with misspellings or grammatical errors. I'm a stickler, but I get mixed up easily, too.
*Disappointing people
*Money
*Finding a job
*ok, going down a spiral now. . .
*scary movies. I don't do scary movies.

Gonna Make You Sweat 'Til You Bleed, Is That Dope Enough? Indeed. 8:58 PM

Oops. Sorry. Got a little carried away with C&C Music Factory.

Anyway, I'm afraid ya'll are going to hate me on this one.  I'm not much of a sweater, at least, not under normal conditions. I sweat when I'm supposed to - hot outside, working out, etc - but not really any other time.  Even when I do sweat, it's not profuse. Sure, I soak my sports bra, but my hair and face and stuff are at relatively normal sweat levels for that kind of activity. 

In high school, though, totally different story. I used to be terrified of shirts with sleeves in the summer because I would sweat, so I would always wear sleeveless.  Finally I figured out it wasn't me, it was my gel deodorant that wasn't dry when I got dressed, but by that time it was already psychologically ingrained, so for the next 10 years I only bought tank tops.

As for deodorant, I have a huge problem with it staining my shirts. Huge. And it's not "invisible" no matter what those bitches tell you in the commercial.  Best deodorant I ever had was in Australia. I think it was called Rexona, and it was a roll-on. Yeah! I know! I didn't think they made roll-on anymore either, but it was awesome. Closest to invisible and also great protection. Wish I'd have known I couldn't get it in the US or I'd have stocked up! (Ok, Wikipedia tells me in UK and Ireland it's known as Sure. Do we still have that here? No idea.)

classic "overshare" 10:56 AM

I don't know that I can talk about sweating on a blog. I'm the kind of girl that "de-friends" someone on Facebook if they overshare about medical conditions, their children's or pet's bathroom habits, etc. I just can't talk about it. Or hear about it.

So this is uncharted territory for me.

Seriously.

So here goes:

(Deep breaths)

Okay. I don't sweat much. Seriously. Except in one place. And it's a place that only girls (and maybe some decidedly larger men) sweat.

Yep. You guessed right - the dreaded "underboob" sweat. To the point that I cannot go out without a bra. Like, ever. And that's no fun, when you have a cute top or dress that requires a braless physique.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to battle this, please let me know. Powder works temporarily. Any ideas, ladies?

Drunken Promises 1:38 AM

I have all kinds of dirty talk to share, but at the moment I'm sweating Little Man waking up early, so I'm headed to bed and will attempt to compose my sweaty thoughts later tomorrow!