It's Tuesday. Let's air our dirty laundry. 6:00 AM

Question #2 for the big Week O' Asking All Kinds of Things We Shouldn't:

Surprisingly enough, I don't actually mean for you to air your dirty laundry. (But that might be an excellent choice for later in the week! Let me think on that.)

No, what I'm talking about is doing laundry. (Laundry being a lovely euphemism for s-e-x.) You know, having the laundry pile up; needing to a big ol' load of laundry; some loads of laundry need to be done on the gentle cycle; running a solo load (ahem!); or Not Using Your Washing Machine For A Few Months Because You Used To Be A Huge Pregnant And Then Just Had A Baby And When You Finally Get Around To Thinking About Doing Laundry You Find That The Damn Thing Is ALL Out Of Whack. I'm sorry, what just happened here? Did I just regurgitate venom and bile from my own life? So sorry.

The task at hand, kids, is this:

Tell us, where is the most fantastic place that you have ever done laundry?

(If you don't think that you have a whole lot to offer on this, make something up. We'll never know. Also, I may fly under the Anon flag on this one, and understand if you do too. ALTHOUGH, you know we're nosey, twisted kids and would just loooove for y'all to own up to your dirty laundry room!)

It's a Monday. Let's talk about your underwear. 6:00 AM

Question #1 for the big Week O' Asking All Kinds of Things We Shouldn't:

Tell us, which describes what you've got going on underneath your pants? (Whoa, whoa, whoa! That sounds ALL WRONG. Yet so right....)

Commando, thong, bikini, boy short or granny?

-or-

Commando, whitey tighties, boxer-briefs or boxers?

Anybody who answers 'commando', please don't use Anonymous! Be proud of your 'I'm in deep dookie if my pants rip' status! Plus, we have a right to know who is freestylin' while at the bar!

A litte Q & A. No, not T & A! Although you never know with us. 11:12 PM

Want to know what the weekly special is? Are you super curious? Do you think it might be us telling you about our wildest night in college? Or maybe it's a list of our favorite beverages? Are the questions driving you crazy? Me too?

Questions, y'all! That's what the WS is. Five days and five questions that we are going to ask of you and of ourselves. Please leave a comment with your answer, even if you have to camouflage yourself with Anonymous. We won't judge you. (Maybe.) Keep in mind, none of our answers will be in the post so keep checking back to see what we, and your fellow patrons, have to say.

Extra points to the person that's been drinking before they hit up the bar. You know, just to keep things lively!

Stashed 5:45 PM

Stashed away in my car, IF I can manage to remember such luxuries in the midst of packing for myself and the two little ones I’ll be dropping off at Camp Grandma on the way to the retreat, will be:

Extra Wii remotes, if Niki thinks we’ll need them.

A Magic 8 Ball, for making important group decisions:

 

Small selection of movies, for in case there’s a movie-watching lull:

(I’m open to suggestions on this one, for stuff everyone will enjoy. I’ve got lots of movies to share. Think 80s, Harry Potter, and all your basic chick flicks.)

Extra food and wine to assist with Andi’s smartini practicality, though not sure what yet. And…

Cranium? Where do you all stand on Cranium? I’ll have to see if our purple Sculpt-It play-doh like substance hasn’t had it yet.

Lastly, I will bring my head, if it remains attached.

I can’t wait!

Sometimes Stealing is OK. Just Sayin'. 8:28 PM

Tonight I went to the store for beer and snacks.  I went into the beer room last because a) it's cold in there and I was dreading it, and b) I didn't want to carry the damn beer all over the store.  I selected Corona Light and headed out to get a lime before checking out.

Well, the stupid display of caramel popcorn distracted me, and I ended up making an impulse buy after choosing caramel & nut over plain caramel.  Of course, I didn't realize until I had already paid and nearly out the door that caramel popcorn had completely messed up my game and caused me to forget the lime!

Honestly, thank goodness I had only had one beer before going to the store, because for a split-second, as I made my way out the door, I *almost* popped over to the produce and snagged a lime.  Fortunately I snapped out of it before actually theiving the fruit, but you know what, I kind of feel like it should be ok to do that. Because clearly I'm not going to go back through the line for the lime; it's just a lime.  But also, I really do sort of need the lime.  Ok, I'm just going to say it: since I bought Corona, I feel entitled to the damn lime and I think they should let me have it if the caramel popcorn impulse buy prevents me from getting it. Don't you agree?

Dorking Out 7:03 PM

I'm going to catch so much shit for this.

I had planned on keeping this a secret until the last possible minute to minimize any teasing harassment that might result, but damn if I wasn't ordered to show my cards well in advance.  So you all might as well know, I'm planning to bring my yoga mat on the retreat. I know. I know. Super dorky in a hippie kind of way.  It's just that I have fantasies of waking up early and ashtanga-ing my way through hangovers on some sort of deck or in front of some giant mountain-view window.  In case any of you are jealous, I'll be bringing a couple of spare yoga mats so you can join in. Maybe we could hike and do some tree poses?

The other luxury item I've been pondering is the Wii.  On the one hand, it's a little bit of a hassle. Plus, I'm not sure if we'll even have time to get down to it. Then again I think of midnight, drunken DDR and it warms my cold heart.  So it's like this - if I can move the sensor without screwing it up and get at least one more DDR pad (so we can battle), I'm totally bringing the Wii.  Confidential to Pen: I may not bring MarioKart because, well, we want to hang out with you, and I know you have an addiction. : )

Practical luxury 12:17 AM

Surprisingly, it was difficult for me to come up with a luxury item for our retreat next month. I'm just not the pointy-shoe*, high-maintenance, luxury kind. I think our cabin itself is where it's at. And with a laptop already spoken for and games (both the pool and air hockey! tables inside the cabin and Scrabble in Megan's suitcase), I'm set! The only thing I was thinking about bringing was baking supplies - like flour, sugar, Pam, oregano. Things you normally have stocked in your own pantry, and that you don't want to have to buy full containers of for a couple of nights that will only require using a small amount. I imagine we'll all go to the store and throw things into the buggy and just divide up the bill. So, who would get to take home the other 1 1/2 lbs of flour after we've made several dozen batches of cookies? It's just easier (to me) to plan ahead a little and bring what you know you'll need. Like if anyone thinks they want me to make the Tuna Melts for a meal, I'll bring oregano and olive oil and such.

Oh, and do you think the cabin has a blender? Because that will be clutch when I get ready to whip up my famous pina coladas or strawberry daiquiris.

*My husband and I have a theory that the more pointed the shoe, the more high maintenance. think about it.

Don't look at the nude Scrabble pic. Just don't. 6:17 PM

Since Penelope has been so kind to let me bring a few 'luxury' items to our retreat in the mountains, I'd like to offer up this one first and foremost:

::collective gasp!::

I know, I haven't read any of them yet, but I want to! From what I hear, I should be able to fly right through a few of them, right?!

When I don't have my face in a book (catching up to the last five years or so), I will be making ludicrous challenges to the other ladies in a game of strip Scrabble.


That's right, I'm bringing this bad boy with me. I've got the super duper turntable Scrabble!

Sweet Mother! When I Googled 'Scrabble' to get the pic to the left, it came up with this:

Whatever you do, don't click on it to see it bigger. DON'T. (You're going to, aren't you?)

And, since I am a newbie Tweeter, I'll be sure to have my cell phone handy to send glorious tweets from our weekend. Somebody just make sure I don't drink and Tweet. (dweet? twink?) Or maybe I should...

**Don't you worry, Cakelet and Thystle, we will most definitely have our laptops and cameras!**

Luxury Items 10:00 PM

While we’re not exactly *roughing it* on our retreat next month, and while there isn’t exactly a limit on the things we decide to bring, there are sure to be certain items in the Barmaid Luggage that go beyond the basics. For this week’s special, we’ll each reveal that extra something we plan on bringing to the real, live bar in the mountains. It’s like we’re on Survivor, and these are our luxury items—except it’s so not Survivor, and we’re totally living it up.

DJ Nasty Niki 5:58 PM

Better late than never, right? Thanks to all the other bartenders who each took care of at least one song on my o.g. playlist thus allowing me to include more awesome music! Pen's husband, take note - I left a little room for a slow dance or two to give us a rest from the pillow fighting and booty shaking.

Without further ado and in no particular order whatsoever:

1. "My Humps" - Black Eyed Peas

2. "Eternal Flame" - Bangles (Ok y'all, I have no idea either. It just came to me one morning, and I have to believe there is a reason for that, a reason it was sent to me by the fates, so I'm going with it. We'll see what happens)

3. "Please Don't Go Girl"- New Kids on the Block

4. "Livin' on a Prayer" - Bon Jovi

5. "Shoop" - Salt-n-Pepa

6. "Hey There Delilah" - Plain White T's

7. "Like a Prayer" - Madonna

8. "I'm Yours" - Jason Mraz (C'mon, you guys had to know that song was going to be on my list. I. Am. Obsessed.)

9. "Oops I Did It Again" - Britney Spears

10. "I Kissed a Girl" - Katy Perry

BONUS TRACK (My reward for sparing you guys Bright Eyes/Conor Oberst/all the other suicide rock I usually listen to):

11. "The Joker" - Steve Miller Band

property law, as viewed by a toddler 11:14 AM

To the moms on Smartini - I saw this on Facebook this morning.

Perhaps you can tell me if this list is accurate:

1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks like it's mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If I can see it, it's mine.
10. If I think it's mine, it's mine.
11. If I want it, it's mine.
12. If I "need it, it's mine (yes, I know the difference between "want" and need"!).
13. If I say it's mine, it's mine.
14. If you don't stop me from playing with it, it's mine.
15. If you tell me I can play with it, it's mine.
16. If it will upset me too much when you take it away from me, it's mine.
17. If I (think I) can play with it better than you can, it's mine.
18. If I play with it long enough, it's mine.
19. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it's mine.
20. If it's broken, it's yours (no wait, all the pieces are mine).

the dog ate my playlist 9:35 AM

I know y'all are all thinking, "Unbelievable! It was Tempe's idea to do this stupid weekly special and she can't even post on time!" But come on, y'all expected less from this procrastinator extraordinaire?

Sorry for the delay, folks. Here's my top ten. (And I'm loving y'alls playlists, by the way! I'm going to download them all this weekend.)

Smartini Retreat Playlist (follow the link for the jukebox):

1. Read My Mind - The Killers

2. If I Had $1000000 - Barenaked Ladies

3. Move You [SSSPII] - Anya Marina

4. LoveStoned/I Think She Knows Interlude - Justin Timberlake

5. Shame On You - Indigo Girls

6. Sweet Madeline - Will Hoge

7. Whatever You Like (Edited) - T.I.

8. Saint Of Me - The Rolling Stones

9. Stay (Wasting Time) - Dave Matthews Band

10. She Said - Collective Soul

Andi's playlist 2:03 AM

And you just thought we had a variety of musical tastes so far!

I think it's ok to have music for playing in the car - we all have a long way to drive, so we need good music to keep us alert, but many may also be riding with someone, so good background music is nice, too. Or, once we are at the cabin, we will need some upbeat music to dance around to and have on while we play air hockey and such, but we'll also need some more low key options for background as we wind down and sit around and bond and chat and such [boys read: makeout]

Old school, a little new stuff, things that get me moving and shaking. . .and once again I can't count. I tried for some Kid Rock, Blues Traveler and Drivin n Cryin, but all had issues or didn't have the songs I wanted.


SeeqPod - Playable Search

Pen’s Picks 1:30 PM

It’s almost a struggle for me to come up with some energizing, cabin retreat-appropriate music, as my usual fare would put you all into coma. A mellow, harmonized, all-is-awesome-with-the-world hippie coma, but a coma nonetheless.This collection is pretty random, but inspired by karaoke bars, group road trips, and other rock star moments of my mind.  Jack Johnson, I’m afraid you’ll just have to stay in the car.