Boop boop be doop, boop! 12:58 PM

I don't really go to YouTube that often, but I like it because when I do, I'm usually looking for something obscure and can find it. Like, when I was looking for some old Betty Boop cartoons because I had a conversation with my 3 year old daughter about her and realized I didn't know what I was talking about because I'd never actually seen a cartoon. Or when I want to go see a routine from So You Think You Can Dance to share because I just loved it so much. It's grainy, so you won't get the full effect because their faces really portray a lot of the emotion of this piece, but it gives me chills. It's from a previous season and was nominated for an Emmy, so the dancers came back on last night's results show to perform it again and it was even more powerful. And there's a part in the opening credits from the routine and every time I see it, I am reminded of the powerful emotion from the performance. I just think it's that good. And it makes me happy, in a sad kind of way, to see it. And share it with you.

youtube happiness 3:11 PM

Dearest YouTube:

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

1. For re-living great moments in television (this one's for you, nik):




2. For letting me waste countless hours of the day laughing at news bloopers (if you don't laugh at this, something is wrong with you):




3. And, for reminding me how much I miss President Bartlet, Leo, CJ, Josh, and Charlie:

I bring you… the Barrel Monster 10:00 AM

I really cannot express how awesome I think this is. Too bad the artist totally got charged for his creation.

There’s an entire fan page for the Barrel Monster on Facebook, with this recent contribution. It’s not terribly clever, but I ask you, who can get enough of Tom Cruise’s maniacal laughter, paired with a stop-animation of the Barrel Monster eating a small city. Not me.

Boats Make Me Happy 4:50 PM

It makes me happy that even though I had only heard of 'I'm On A Boat,' I can count on MY MOTHER to send me the You Tube link because she thinks it's funny. How awesome is that?!

Her email, and I quote: "ha ha ha! 'I got my flippy floppies'!"





This is NSFW, y'all, and I mean it. Which makes it even more awesome that my mom sent it to me.

"Poseidon, look at me!"

Make You Happy 10:22 AM

Unless you live under a rock, or have a life that doesn't involve mainstream TV or the internet (to which I'd say kudos), you probably saw this video.



You have a cold, dead heart if this video doesn't give you the warm & fuzzies. I, for one, cannot stop watching it (or secretly planning my own version for my fake wedding).

This week we're sharing other things that make us happy. And a Youtube video. Because Youtube videos are awesome.

Light 'Em Up 9:24 PM

(A caveat - my hard drive is dead, and all my pictures from the last 5 years are gone. This is the best I could do with the 12 pictures I've taken in the last 3 weeks that aren't on my cell phone.)

Really, these speak for themselves, and what they are saying makes me laugh. A pre-party of my birthday next month when I was in Georgia visiting the fam this past weekend.

Yeah. When it takes a team of people to put candles on your cake, a fire extinguisher is needed to assist in blowing out said candles, and it looks like someone took target practice on your birthday cake. . .you're old.

Oh Snap! 12:31 AM

In April, we had a tree fall in our yard during a storm, stripping 3 stories of decking right off the back of the house. My Hubby was home when it happened, but I was out of town at my parent’s house with the kids. He and the dogs were ok, just a little shaken from the experience, but he had to email me pictures of the damage.

A picture may be worth 1,000 words, but I had a few choice ones when I saw this sight:

Whew! Holy Sh*t! Mother &*$^@#! Damn, that was close. Thank the Good Lord! 4th and inches. Couldn’t have been any closer. Wow. Goodness Gracious. Thank Goodness. Holy Hell. OMG!

Just a few others to get the full impact. . .

Despair is fun! 3:30 PM

We’ve all seen motivational posters hanging in office places, and likely have seen the posters that mock them, in emails, on websites and so forth, courtesy of despair.com. I love them. Currently, this one is my favorite.

This post is really a PSA, combined with our Weekly Special on pictures telling a story. Because, if you like de-motivational posters, you can totally make your own! Very easy, and a nice stress reliever, should you need one. Sarcasm always adds a little cheer to my day…

Enjoy!

More photographic embarassment. 5:30 AM

While in Rhode Island last week we took a little evening jaunt over to Newport. Quite a lovely place, Newport is, but the best part was when I finagled my way into the shipyard - after it was closed. (Are you proud, Nik? That sounds like something you would do!)

Even if the security guard hadn't been melted by my charm, this land-locked girl would have found a way in anyway. I mean, I was wearing my Topsiders! Of course I belonged in the shipyard! (This was all new to me, so you can imagine how much of a massively huge dork I was about it.)

I solemly swear that if there hadn't been a van full of people waiting on me
I would have absolutely said something to them.

Security Guard: "Look up at the snee-ka! The SNEE-KA!"

Pretty much.

The picture says it all 12:16 AM

If a picture is worth a thousand words, why should you have to read a book about the picture?!

EXACTLY.

(You'll see.)

In lieu of 11:40 PM

Good TV and TiVo (still adjusting to the inferior DiVo) I really haven't been watching much. Once I caught up on some of the shows we lost when we lost our TiVo - thank you hulu.com! - I kind of tuned out. Perhaps I was still mourning the loss, because I was a BIG TiVo fan. Sadly, my time seems to be spent in front of the computer, but I'm not even sure what I do for so many hours at night. Damn FB, definitely, but beyond that?! It's shocking really.
I see from the lists the other barmaids have submitted, that I do, actually have some good options, though, and that's exciting. Really, the only summer show I watch is So You Think You Can Dance and I do really enjoy it (dang it! I hadn't seen the elimination from last week, but of course clicking over to get the link showed me right away who went home. sniff.) I have watched since the first season and even now watch with my 3 1/2 year old daughter (who might be picking up too many of some of the moves!) It's got a mix of all kinds of dance - ballet, hip hop, contemporary, jazz, ballroom - and I love seeing the choreography and learning about the contestants. The judges can be crazy and annoying, but that's typical for these shows, right? The host is beautiful and English, so fun to listen to and not bad to look at. Even my daughter made some comments one time, "wow, she looks pretty tonight!" I thought it was cute. I don't watch DWTS, so I can't give a comparison, but I enjoy it. Otherwise, we've thrown in a couple Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? episodes that we don't catch during the year because they run on jam-packed Thursday night and that's been about it. When is Project Runway coming back? To Lifetime?!

Southern girl goes north. And lives to tell about it. So far. 11:16 PM

In case you haven't noticed my absence from the bar (haven't the other girls been so great?!), or even if you haven't, I'm here to tell you that I am in Rhode Island. At a conference. And I might be a little drunk.

The northeast has never seen the likes of me, I'm afraid, and collectively they may be a little bit afraid... But I'm having a good time laying on the southern accent to see what I kind of trouble I can work my way into!

Tonight we headed out to a fancy schmancy (that's the technical term, just so you know) place that may possibly be the nicest place I've been in, oh, say, YEARS. I had to hit the ladies room, and in it I found this gem that I couldn't resist taking of picture of for the sole purpose of posting here:


Holy cow, y'all! I totally stole this from the bathroom so that I could take a picture of it! Do you love it?!

(For you Twilight peeps, I FINALLY have been bitten! I brought the book with me for the plane ride and have already finished it. I may or may not have skipped some conference sessions to go read. But don't tell anyone. LOVE IT! I'm absolutely kicking myself for not bringing the second book with me. And clearly think that I'm in love with a vampire. Or want a vampire to be in love with me.)

On Hiatus 9:42 PM

Summer is my very favorite time of life, and honestly summer television is about the only drawback I have ever noticed. Since I only get about 4 channels, I have essentially given up even trying to find something on. At first I was reading, and that was fun until I ran out of books. Then I started watching Season 2 of The O.C. Oh Seth Cohen, where are you in my life?  Then I meant to Netflix Season 3 but instead ended up with Run Lola Run and 3-Iron, the latter of those two I have absolutely no recollection of putting in my dvd queue.

Of course I totally intended to send those bitches back ASAP and re-up my queue with Season 3 of The O.C., but then I went out of town, became suicidally depressed, went on a bender, and met a boy. Sooooooo. Still have those damn movies.

However, recently I've begun a Sex and the City binge. Watching Season 1 is hysterical. Hy.ster.i.cal. Not in an intentional way either. Now I'm two-thirds finished with Season 2 (borrowing from a friend, so no USPS delay), and I've nothing if not confirmed that MR. BIG SUCKS and Carrie should've ended up with Aidan. No, Aidan hasn't even appeared yet, but Big is such a giant asshole that almost anyone is better for Carrie than he is.

Anyway.

That's pretty much all I've been watching (except for Dateline twice, not the "To Catch a Predator" version, but the regular super-melodramatic-over-the-top murder journalism one). If I lived in a real city I'd be prepping for Half-Blood Prince at midnight tonight, but no such luck. Probably for the best, as I've got some wine that needs drinking and some SATC that needs watching.

the "off season" 4:10 AM

Yeah, I'm in Grey's withdrawal, too, Pen...but I do have a few things that keep me occupied until the new fall season premiers.

Here's a few that you may or may not know about:

1. Burn Notice. Two words: Jeffrey Donovan. He plays Michael Westen, who is basically a hot, cooler McGuyver. With great sidekicks.

2. The Closer. I heart, heart, heart Kyra Sedgwick as Deputy Chief Brenda Lee Johnston. Her sweet southern accent is a perfect foil to her take-no-prisoners attitude.

3. Entourage. Oh thank God this one's back on. Ari Gold is a riot (NOTE - link is nsfw). The show's hilarious and well-written and casted.

4. Saving Grace. Holly Hunter plays the flawed but kind Grace Anadarko perfectly, and I find myself sitting on the edge of my seat with every episode. And who doesn't want a Last Chance Angel?

5. How I Met Your Mother Reruns on Lifetime, Mondays at 7 and 7:30 pm. DON'T SPOIL IT FOR ME - I have no idea what happens after about halfway through the 2nd season. We just happened to discover that Lifetime shows two episodes on Monday nights, and we've been watching as if they're new. Barney is Legend...wait for it...

6. Red Sox Baseball. Yes, my husband has the MLB Deluxe, High Def, all the bells and whistles, if-it's-this-good-it-had-better-cook-my-dinner-for-me Season Ticket Package with DirecTV. Which means we get all Red Sox, all the time. And Chris wonders how I know so much about the Sox lineup. At least Jacoby is a starter...he's easy on the eyes.

7. Royal Pains. Hilarious new comedy on USA about a guy who loses his job as a prominent ER doc in Manhattan, escapes to the Hamptons and accidentally becomes a concierge doctor to the privileged on the island.

Okay, clearly I watch too much TV...but enjoy!

Filling the Void 11:00 AM

Whenever the bar is slow on these warm, sleepy summer days, I like to watch…

New:

• Top Chef Masters: In spite of the Padma knockoff and little to no Tom Colicchio, it’s worth tuning in every week to see the best of the best face off in old Quickfire challenges and Elimination Challenges with a new spin. Like last week, when they had to cook for Neil Patrick Harris and his friends (thus simultaneously filling the “How I Met Your Mother” void). And Anito Lo came up with some scallop-that’s-not-a-scallop dish with Rice Krispie sand crackling beneath the bowl? Now that’s my kind of scallop. Since I’m allergic.
• The Goode Family: Whether you’re a hippie or not, you will appreciate this new cartoon from Mike Judge. Hi-larious! So many little truths about our increasingly green and politically correct society tucked into this show.

Old:

• House Hunters, House Hunters, and more House Hunters. I can’t get enough! Although, J.Lo and I are getting picky, I admit. If the house choices are crap, we feel completely unsatisfied. It’s all about vicarious living, and we can’t stand it if the place looks like hell, or worse, when they don’t do anything to fix the place up a few months later. Like they think it’s okay to live with pukey shag carpet and aquamarine walls, to be fixed “someday,” i.e. never. Gag!
• Iron Chef America. I used to watch plain old Iron Chef, and this show is a pretty good substitute. I’m not a big fan of Bobby Flay, but luckily, he doesn’t talk much. It’s all business as the chefs face off in a one-hour challenge, preparing insanely creative dishes centered around one featured ingredient.

In-Between:

• I’ve been making an effort to watch some chick flicks here and there, as their shallow, formulaic plots are seriously good for the soul. Best served with a milkshake from Cookout.
• I want to rent the latest season of “Weeds.” That’s some good summer fun.
• And I’m catching up on my Harry Potter before the 6th movie comes out! I started with the 6th book, absolutely had to re-read the 7th after that, and then in my shell-shocked state, began the 5th. Again. It’s actually an interesting order… Plan to see the movie on Sunday, hooray!

Summer Slow-Down 10:30 AM

Summer TV is a wasteland, let’s be honest. But here at the bar, we manage to find ways to pass the time, whiling away the hours and days until the fall premiers of our favorite nighttime shows. This week, we’ll be discussing what we do watch during the summer, whether it be the delightful crap aired on network, entire series rented through Netflix, or the hidden gems of HG and Food TV. Think of it as a survival guide: How to Keep Breathing Until Grey’s Anatomy Returns to Your Life. I know I could use as many tips as possible!

I am not a liar. Most of the time. 10:19 PM

I said before that I would toss out two pictorial posts and damnit, I meant it. (I did see the much taunted pic from Andria and yep... she was right... it is a big ol' money shot. Of which you will NOT be partaking in, until you figure out how to pay me per view. Then we may have a deal.)

Niki seemed to think that the picture of my desk class from a while back was funny, so I took another one. It's an embarassing gem, just like the last.

Yet another picture of my desk during class on a night that my husband was at work, leaving me with one eye on the kids. Not to be outdone by the one prior, here's the legend:


1. Wipes box, again, topped with a dirty diaper
2. Snack for me (chips), snack for the girls (plate)
3. Notes that I am supposedly taking
4. Baggie of shit from the move that still hasn't... moved
5. Weedeater oil that hasn't moved
6. Wipes wrapper, see #1
7. Two sippie cups from children done with snack
8. Two empty Diet Coke cans, possibly from this one class, possibly from some point previous
9. Class I'm supposed to be paying attention to indstead of taking pictures of the whole gruesome mess
10. Lego-esque tower built by my oldest and brought to me as a present
11. Two phones, just like last time

Like Niki's love for sexy panties, Tempe's ability to drink like a fish, Andria's love of doing the laundry, Pen's hippie ways and my dirty habits, Some things never change!

more smARTini 11:00 PM

We have quite a lot of art in our house. Reading over Andi and Ruby’s posts, it seems that I didn’t even think to address family photos and children’s art creations. And I might have forgotten to take a picture of all the art downstairs in the office/den, and in our bedroom, and the kids’ rooms. Oops. So lazy this week, we barmaids are! But, the kitchen art at least has been covered over at (mis)adventures here and here, where you’ll see that I was sort of inspired a few months back by our Smartini sidebar and its vintage metal signs. Love them. And I did manage to photograph the living room art.

Here’s the painting over our fish tank, which was purchased at a local Art for the Masses show, and even though one of my friends looked at it once and was all, I could paint that with my eyes closed, I still sort of love it.

This sketch was a wedding present, also purchased at an Art for the Masses show, and it features a fish-eye view of our downtown. Whether we stay or someday go, it’s a cool thing to have on the wall.

We like some Ansel Adams. One year we considered moving out West, and I think those daydreams sort of inspired this purchase.

And finally, this picture, which was also a wedding present, selected by a friend who knows our story, and how we kind of got together through our two dogs, who remain best pals. I know it’s a children’s book/illustration, though I have yet to check it out…

Artsy Fartsy 12:34 AM

Ok, so no one is feeling inspired by my Art Weekly Special. . sad. I realized that I’m fairly boring, myself, when I really started looking around and fall into the mostly Family and Friends Photos category of “art” in my house, which is not surprising considering my love and passion for pictures. I have 3 “real” pieces:

corks from different varieties of wine hangs in the kitchen, above the sideboard.

 

and our dining room has these two pieces that pick up the colors so amazingly.

Although, I consider my furniture and decor (mirrors, clocks, etc.) and little knick-knacks to all be part of my aesthetic (we’ve deemed it Rustic Elegance. ha.) and I do love art, just don’t own much of it, I guess.

Beyond these, I have a wall of pictures in our stairwell that contains not just photographs, but also sketch drawings of each of the kids and us in Italy last summer and silhouette profiles of each of the kids, so I think it’s a nice mix.

I love personal pictures that tell a story, not just show people. In addition to the standard family photo over the mantel place (that just this year replaced the UGA end zone picture), wedding photos and kid photos, we have a collage frame with pictures of a helicopter from an Atlanta Nascar pre-race ceremony, shells on the beach at Tybee Island, our beach set up (umbrella, chairs with the hotel in the background) in Daytona where we went for several years, me on the beach, leaning against a palm tree from our first anniversary trip in Ft. Lauderdale, me in a vineyard in Italy, us on a camping trip before kids, pictures of grandparents now and then, us as younger kids, etc. I enjoy my sister’s house, because her husband is an excellent photographer and they have pictures that look like basic things, but they are ones he took and that mean something to them. Like a crab from their honeymoon in Hawaii. It’s a really cool picture of a crab, but it’s also awesome, because it’s one he took on a trip that had significance. I like that concept.

I also plugged this web site before, because I really think it’s unique.

And that concludes our discussion on art for the day, thank you.

My decor? Let's just say it involves crayons. 11:31 PM

It is a SAD, SAD day indeed when I am the first one to come stumbling in all squinty-eyed, looking around with that very confused expression that comes after a weekend of debauchery, on a dadgum WEDNESDAY NIGHT! Damn, the other girls must have had one hell of a time this weekend!

To make up for it, I am here to promise you not one, but TWO more photographic posts from me this week! And by photographic, I mean pictures of stuff that it going to embarrass me. Andi has taunted me with a recent picture of me in my bathing suit, but that thing will never, ever get posted here, Will It, ANDI? Unless it's just of my top half and by some freak of nature is flattering, then I'll entertain the idea of blinding you with my ample bosom. But I haven't seen it, so don't go getting excited. Yet.

What may be even more sad than me rolling in here flipping on the lights for the first time in about a week, is the extreme lack of art d' decor in my house. I'm holding tight to that 'But we just moved!' card to explain why there is absolutely nothing on my walls, even though it's been seven months. Wait, who am I kidding? We didn't have that much stuff to begin with!

The very minimal amount of art that we do have is in the picture/print family and contains either a cow, horse, cowboy or open pasture, or all four. And that's pretty much it! (We is simple folk.)

Since I have been super slack and only opened boxes that contained items that we needed, you know, like the underwear box and the liquor box, the following items are the lump sum whole of decor and art in my house:


I may have lied. There are a few more pictures of my girls on the entertainment center. But it's covered in various items that don't belong on it and need to be put away. See above note about being lazy.


Three items colored for me by my eldest and a card. Please note that the drawing contains a horse and the note contains a cowboy, horse and cattle. In a pasture. I told you!


More things made by my girls at school. (I don't think I will ever tire of looking at the hand prints of my baby girl.) One thing that I did not put in this house but will tire of is that wallpaper, thrown up all over my substantial kitchen. Blech!

Bar Decor 11:21 PM

Whew! Hope everyone survived trying all of the concoctions we proposed for your holiday weekend. We are clearly still recouping over here, but once the hangovers subside, we will be high browing it a bit this week and discussing our (vastly varying, I’m sure) tastes in: Art.

What artwork do we have in our homes (70’s wallpaper? Lipstick stained poster of Kirk Cameron? Framed vinyl records?); what pieces and styles are we drawn to; perhaps even styles we just don’t get. It’s all so subjective, but should be very telling about each of us as well. Feel free to leave your critiques in the comments.

hair of the dog 12:15 PM

After reading the last three posts on holiday cocktails, I plan on trying ALL three drink recipes this weekend. Yum!

However, after imbibing all weekend, I'm gonna need some hair of the dog that bit me (three times, it seems):

Susan's Bloody Mary's

Clamato Tomato Cocktail
Vodka (your choice on the the brand)
1 tsp Worcestershire Sauce
Dash of Tabasco
1/2 tsp prepared horseradish
Salt and Pepper to Taste
Wedge of lime - sqeeze juice into mixture
Dash of Celery Seed and 1 celery stalk for garnish

Combine all ingredients in a tall glass (adjusting as you see fit). Serve over ice.

Enjoy!