You know us, we're players 10:34 PM

As if you didn't know, the Smartini girls are players, one and all... What exactly we're playing at, well, that's the subject of this week's special.

Games. Games that we just love to play, and I don't mean just drinking games (although there are a few of those too!). Online, solo, or in a group, we will be dealing out the info on some of our favorite games.

Are you in?

(PS: A little word to the wise, whatever you do, don't ever, EVER, challenge Niki to a game of anything. Because you will lose. Or she will die trying to beat you. It never turns out well, I can just tell you that.)

On this day 8:15 PM

I am thankful for:

*My mom’s recipes for turkey and stuffing, which are fully executable and beyond fabulous.

*The strength to face NON-executable recipes at the last minute, such as Martha Stewart’s Triple Chocolate Pumpkin Pie, without freaking out (too much) and transform it into something both feasible and edible.

*My daughter, one K.Lo, who woke me up this morning with the tiny-voiced question, “Are we getting ready?” For what, I whisper. “For Thanksgiving?” Indeed.

*My son, one N.Lo, who at mine and K.Lo’s prompting said “dog” today and smiled with pride.

*The dogs, who are sweet and loyal and very well-behaved even if they scrounge for fallen food at every turn.

*The movie Elf.

*Lovely family meals with great food, lively conversation and a glass of wine.

*A husband who volunteers to help me clean up after said meal and offers a high-five when we’re done.

And, in no particular order:

*The warm, cozy house.

*Books.

*The Internets.

*Friends! Both near and far.

*How the Universe always manages to provide.

*This Weekly Special, which brought me back to a state of mind I have long missed.

Today I am Grateful for... 11:06 PM

In addition to family, friends, and pets:

* My boss - who lets me do essentially whatever I want to do as long as work gets done - which meant no work today and half day yesterday

* The woodpecker I saw this morning on my walk with Masala

* Making it home without getting in a wreck or seeing one (because people were driving crazy)

* Sunset over the Savannah River

* Starry night in rural Georgia - I don't live in the big city, but there's enough light pollution that I don't get to see the stars like this very often. Awesome.

* My new iPod! It revolutionized my long drive and has changed my life

* Barack Obama

* Anticipation of meeting up with fellow barmaids later on this week - in person!!

* My sister's bed, which is waiting for me as soon as I publish this post

* My parents finally getting DSL (replacing dial-up) and therefore allowing me to publish this post and keep up with NaBloPoMo on my personal blog

These? Oh, they're my fat pants. 10:47 PM

It's the night before Thanksgiving, and as I sit here, I'm alternately congratulating myself on all of the cooking and prep work that I accomplished today and mentally calculating the logistics of what cooking there is left for tomorrow. Why in the hell they didn't install a double oven in my trailer, I'll never know... ;)

On the menu at Casa Megan will be:

Oven Roasted Turkey

Cornbread Dressing

Squash Casserole

Sweet Potato Souflee

Creamed Corn

Deviled Eggs

Rolls

Pecan Pie

Sweet Tea

Just let me know if y'all will be stopping by for all of this deliciousness. (I'd come early if I were you.)

This is the first time I have ever cooked a turkey, so we'll see how it all shakes out. Right now that bird is chilling in a cooler full of brine (the cooler full of wine, however, is NOT for the bird) which will be done at 2 AM. (Poor planning on someone's part, that's what that is.) If it all turns out well and good, I'll be sure to share the recipe. If not, I'm not telling where I found the recipe because you will make fun of me. I know how y'all are!

The plans I concocted earlier this week may not turn out exactly as hoped since the wee little babe has not arrived. No worries! We'll celebrate the tiny Miss right there in her mama's belly. Maybe once she gets a little taste of my cooking she'll decide to come on out and join us?! Now THAT would make for a interesting Thanksgiving!

We'll be watching the parade tomorrow morning, I'm sure. How about you? It seems like last time I suffered through one of those parades I felt the overwhelming urge to strangle an entire cast of a Broadway show or a C class singer riding atop a float. I must love to inflict show tune pain upon myself because you know good and well I won't turn it off. That would be un-American!

Tomorrow evening, in keeping with the I'm An American theme, we will be watching either A Christmas Story or Christmas Vacation. Or both. My, how I love those movies! Look for me to begin quoting lines from each one very soon. Or mentioning Cousin Eddie in that damn dickie. I'm laughing just thinking about it!

Y'all have a nice Thanksgiving, and try not to watch too much football!

Thanks! 10:17 PM

*I believe strongly in writing personal and descriptive Thank You notes. I wrote one after my first career fair to one of the employers I had met there and it was a big reason I got called in for an interview and subsequently hired - I was 1 of only 2 people that had written one.

*I sign a lot of my emails (especially work)

Thanks!
Andria

*I try to teach my kids to be gracious and say "Thank You" and sign it before they can actually speak it and make a point to use it in my everyday speech (especially talking to them) as well to demonstrate.

*I think it's a fantastic thing to give thanks and reflect on what you have to be thankful for. Add in lots of yummy food and family and you understand why Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.

*This year in spite of (in light of?) some of the recent changes and upheavals, there are still so many blessings in my life that I am grateful for. Among them:

~two beautiful, loving, sweet, fun, intelligent children (and I'm not bias, really)

~a loving and supportive husband

~lots of backup and love from my family

~great in-laws that love to dote on the grandbabies

~cousins for my kids to grow up with

~great friends that keep in touch with me - even those that are reading, but don't leave comments. It means a lot to know you check in. And those that have reconnected or even formed virtually thanks to the diminishing distance the Internet provides.

~the freedom to be home with my kids and also to change the direction of my life/career.

just to name a few.

Thanks!

Thank You: Ode to the Blogosphere. 7:07 AM

As much as I still love the old pen-and-ink, I have to express my utmost gratitude to the blogosphere. It's given me a forum for writing the good, the bad, and the ugly; the mundane and the manic; the important and the insignificant.

But beyond that, it has given me a place to meet with you - yes, you. It's what brought the Smartinis together - don't forget that I am the only one who has the honor of knowing all of the Smartinis in real life. Others have e-relationships that started in the comment section of various blogs linked to the right. And there are others in the blogosphere for whom I have the same connection: the illustrious and indomitable Mendacious and the enigmatic and insightful Kurt. It's given me a way to reconnect to people I actually do know and love - Tempe and Megan - and given me a way to stay connected to those with whom I never really lost touch but now feel like I can "talk to" on a daily basis.

The blogosphere, though seemingly just a cold, vague circuitry void, is actually like a great big cyber hug. I love coming here - to the Bar or the Jungle or the (Mis)Adventures - and finding out what's going on out there. I love blogging my little heart out and knowing that the comments section is going to lift me up and carry me through - whether with wit or sympathy.

So thank you for your heart, blogosphere. Some may think you're the Tin Man, but I know better. Here's to the love.

Is This Real? I Don't Know 11:47 AM

But it's damn funny.

Thank You, by Megan 9:24 AM

When we gather around the table this Thanksgiving, I will count among my many, many blessings these two wonderful things:

* The opportunity to move back to Georgia and undertake graduate school. How crazy is that?! This old dog is going to learn some new tricks, girls! The big dawgs in Georgia are welcoming me back and I couldn't be more excited. And truly, truly grateful for the opportunity to move forward in a career that interests me and to take my babies home to learn how to speak properly. ;)

* My last Thanksgiving in Kansas (for a little while, at least) will be spent with a family that is most dear to my heart, and hopefully their brand new baby girl. What a fabulous way to wrap up our time here, celebrating our blessings and theirs.

(And I'm also a wee bit thankful that I have internet access at home once again! I mean, I know you really shouldn't count things like that, but last week was kind of rough!)


May your stuffing be tasty

May your turkey plump,

May your potatoes and gravy

Have never a lump.

May your yams be delicious

And your pies take the prize,

And may your Thanksgiving dinner

Stay off your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Thank You. 10:56 PM

Two simple words...so much meaning. It's the time of turkey (or tofurkey, if that's your persuasion), of gathering around the table (at which you will eat too much) with the ones you love (or hopefully like) and taking a moment to say thank you. To show gratitude. To express appreciation. To acknowledge the contents of your personal cornucopia. What's in your horn of plenty this year?

So before we get to the season of giving, let's make a stop at the season of receivng and take some time to reflect on what we already have. This week at the bar, we'll be adding a little gratuity to the tab as each of us muse on "thank you."

Smartini Vocabulary 101 9:15 PM

sanpaku

(San Pacu)

1. the visibility of the white of the eye between the iris and the lower eyelid

2. according to EW magazine, a specific, concrete reason for why Robert Pattinson of Twilight is so damn smokin’ hot

Oh yes. I wholeheartedly concur.

WTFriday: You make the call 1:06 PM

The people at Yahoo!'s fashion site "OMG" (or some such nonsense) are saying that the female chick from the Twilight movie totally f-ed up on the red carpet last night. 

I have to say, I wholeheartedly disagree.  Love the dress, the legs are bangin', and the hair doesn't bother me (from this angle anyway). I will say the purse and shoes are a little fuddy-duddy, but I'll forgive that because the dress rocks so much.

What do you think? Agree with me or the Yahoo! peeps?

A Drinking Game with Pen at the Wheel 11:30 PM

 

To be played in conjunction with Mario Kart on the Wii

Drink up every time Pen:

Falls off a cliff.

Slips on a banana peel.

Drives into the water/lava/bad liquid substance.

Runs into a wall and can’t turn around.

Drives the other direction for half a lap.

Really can’t say which way she’s going at all.

Smirks to self for “inking” J.Lo on the sly.

Cackles evilly like her character, Waluigi.

Wishes for the “bullet,” her only chance to fast-forward ahead and maybe save face, but doesn’t get  it.

Is so far behind all the others, she doesn’t get a chance to finish.

Blames the injustice of the system.

Blames the controller, like those people in the middle on Jeopardy.

Comes in 12th (LAST) place.

Curses.

Curses profusely.

Blames the vehicle she’s driving.

Hangs head in defeat.

Falls off the couch from laughing at self and poor Mario Kart Wii skills.

 

You'll be drunk in a heartbeat! And Pen the Drunk-like Driver will remain sadly sober. Wa-wahhh.

PSA: TV/Movie Drinking Games 1:45 PM

For the Weekly Special, I was going to offer a drinking game for some popular TV show that I love to watch and/or mock, such as America’s Next Top Model or Grey’s Anatomy. However, turns out that there already exists an entire Drinking Games database for TV shows and movies. They have a little work to do, clearly, since I don’t see such easy targets as Survivor or Project Runway on there, but it’s a good start. I sort of love that Blue’s Clues is on there especially. Now there’s a good way to inject some life into that damn snooze-fest!

With that to offer for now, I’ll have to think a little longer on my own drinking game contribution.

Nikini: The Drinking Game 7:28 PM

A couple of months ago for our weekly special we presented you all with "reality TV" versions of our lives.  I never quite made it into the bar to pitch my show, but let's just say this is the drinking game that would go along with it. (See, this is sort of like a 2 for 1 deal. Hey, the economy is hurting people, so we're here to help.)

Drink when:
* Alarm goes off - Niki's awake, Niki's a lawyer, and drinking is what lawyer's do best

* Niki walks the dog first thing in the morning; take two shots if she wears a bra; three shots if she can see her breath; keep chugging until the walk is over if there is snow on the ground

* Niki looks for two matching socks. . .chug until she matches (you will be drunk IMMEDIATELY)

* Niki uses ALL CAPS or italics when writing a blog post

* The judge finds Niki's client guilty; finish your glass in celebration if Niki wins

* A client's mother, wife, or baby-mama calls to make an appointment for him . . . and he's over 35

* Everytime you hear the phrase, "I'm not really tryin' to go to jail right now" or any iteration thereof

* A smarmy old man calls her "sweetheart" and puts his hand on her back

* Masala tries to eat trash; chug until Niki successfully extracts trash from his mouth; finish your drink if Masala swallows the nasty-thing first

* Niki eats a microwave dinner for supper

* The phone rings just as she's sat down to eat and watch 90210, Grey's Anatomy, or Gossip Girl; two shots if it's her mom; three shots if it's J; finish your glass if she actually answers the phone

* Everytime she thinks a boy is cute - in real life or on TV

* Whenever Niki takes a sip of water

* An inappropriate comment/joke is made in her workplace; two shots if you would consider the comment sexual harassment under normal working conditions

* A client tells her the cop is lying or vice versa; two shots if she catches either in a lie

* Niki goes out of town for the weekend

* She posts a picture of a hot guy on one of her blogs, gushing and swooning like a lovesick teenager

* Open a bottle of champagne and drink straight from the bottle if Niki does anything besides go to the gym, walk her dog, play on the computer, and sit on the couch watching TV on Sun-Thurs nights

Mama's in the Sauce 9:39 PM

As a new (temporary?!) SAHM, I've devised a plan to get me through the day. Feel free to partake if you have kids at home as well. The rules are simple:


Take a drink:
*For every article of clothing you have to re-fasten or replace on the child's body

*For every meal you feed - to humans or canines

*For every phrase you have to repeat:
~if within a 30 second period, take 2 shots,
~if during a movie or cartoon, just chug until over; you will be repeating yourself the entire time anyway until the hypnosis wears off,
~if the phrase is "no" go ahead and finish your glass
~for every phrase you hear repeated back to you that should not have been uttered in the first place, or fallen on such innocent ears. Such as "Jesus!" or "GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!" to the canine staff during meal time. There's something disconcerting about such force coming out of a little sweet package.

*Every time you have to close your eyes and deep breathe, might as well have the bottle to your lips

*For every mess you have to clean up more than once

*For every mess you have pointed out to you that you just didn't really want to know or think about - PopTart fingers grabbing onto the back of the chair; unknown brown substance; known brown substance, etc.

*For every unknown substance you have to dig out of your child's mouth.

*Any time the decibel level elevates, whether it be your own voice yelling or your children's happy squealing or whining requests that make the hair on the back of your neck stand up and internally cringe.

*Any time you manage to multitask and accomplish something, especially if under the guise of a "game" or "fun": Laundry! Unloading the dishwasher! Recycling mama's empty wine bottles!


Be sure to partake in nap time, as you will need it!

Drinking Games! 9:30 PM

According to Wikipedia, drinking games date back to the days of Ancient Greece and China. Who knew? Read all about it here, and become even more Smartini.

This week for our special, each of us will make up a drinking game and lay down the rules for our patrons. Togas might even be involved, you just never know!

PSA: Sweet Tea Vodka 11:10 PM

Ladies, are you aware of Firefly’s existence? Distilled in South Carolina, it’s vodka that tastes like SWEET TEA. I’m drinking it presently, and it’s q.u.i.t.e tasty. The bottle says to serve it 1:1, water to Firefly, but I’ll go ahead and say more like 4:1… unless you’re interested in sprouting chest hair. If you go 4:1, it looks and tastes pretty well like sweet tea. Except with a mighty fine buzz to go along with the innocuous flavor.

Here’s to a headache-free Sunday morning, I hope!

 

 

More Good Vibrations 10:20 AM

Vibrators have apparently come a long way. Last week, we talked about the penis sleeve. This week, I ran across these lovely items in a magazine.

They really are vibrators, designed with discreteness in mind.

I’ll let you all interpret that statement in the comments.

P.S. In which magazine did I discover this gem? Parenting! I tell no lies.

4 Score 10:00 AM

4 places you’ve lived: Vestal, NY; Raleigh, NC; Chicago, IL; Wilmington, NC

4 jobs you’ve had: ice cream scooper, writing consultant, customer service rep, mama

4 cars you’ve had: 1997 Mazda Protege, 2003 Honda Civic. That’s it!

4 websites you’d be lost without: google, amazon, blogger, BBC News Americas

4 foods you love: dark chocolate, NY style pizza, brie and bread, spinach dip

4 role models or people that have influenced you: my mom, J.Lo, mendacious, my pal Jamie

4 events in your life that have shaped you: moving South, grad school, some of the former a-holes I’ve dated, motherhood

4 drinks you order: rum and coke, pinot grigio, water, sweet tea

4 movies you could watch again and again: You’ve Got Mail, About a Boy, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club

4 things that comfort you/bring you comfort: chocolate, movies, emailing good pals, J/K/N.Lo hugs

4tune Teller 8:43 AM

4 Places I've Lived:
* Gainesville, FL
* Lancaster, England
* Melbourne, Australia
* Charlottesville, VA

4 Jobs I've Had:
* Filing repair orders in the "Rat Room" of my dad's auto dealership
* Student worker at UGA Alumni House
* Receptionist at property management firm in Brighton, England; people would call me and bitch about their problems with their houses ALL.DAY.LONG. then assume I was stupid because of my American accent. Worst job. Oh, and on my last day my 50-something boss totally grabbed my ass when he hugged me goodbye. I digress.
* Criminal defense attorney

4 Cars I've Had:
* 1992 Cutlass convertible, red with white top; had from ages 13-27 before it was retired (now sits in my dad's shed because I don't think he can bear to sell it any more than I can bear to see it sold)

* 2001 Olds Aurora - total old-lady car, but it runs well and gets me there, so I can't complain
* ???? Nissan Sentra - this was my "rainy day car" during high school that I was supposed to drive instead of my convertible when there was inclement weather and/or when I was "grounded." Then my cousin wrecked his car and drove this, so I didn't actually have it for very long. Again, I digress. Sorry.
* That's it. I, personally, have never had 4 cars. My family has had a trillion cars, though, due to my father working in the auto industry. Probably my favorite is the Nissan 300ZX my mom has right now.

4 Websites I'd Be Lost Without:
* Google Maps (literally, lost)
* Ann Taylor Loft
* Netflix
* iTunes

4 Foods I Love:
* Chips and Salsa
* Peanut Butter
* Chocolate
* Any vegetarian Indian dish
* Cheese
* Ice cream
* Garbanzo beans
Whoops. I was supposed to stop at 4. I really love food, ya'll.

4 People That Have Influenced Me:
* My brother
* The college professor who taught me about Robert Kennedy, the Civil Rights Movement, the Revolution...
* Bridget Jones/Helen Fielding (Don't believe me? Check out the early archives of Nik's Notes and a million and seventy-five emails Tempe and I have sent to each other.)
* J

4 Events That Have Shaped Me:
* Living in England/backpacking around Europe - Jan-June 2000
* Watching a live chicken fall out of a moving chicken truck - I literally became a vegetarian the next day
* Breaking up with my college boyfriend (Completely over it now, but you know, I changed after that, mainly for the better.)
* Studying and traveling in Australia Aug-Dec 2007

4 Drinks I Order:
* Water
* Tea (Hot or UNsweet)
* Wine
* Beer

4 Movies I Could Watch Over-and-Over:
* Bridget Jones' Diary
* Clueless
* Top Gun (I have it memorized. Word. For. F-ing. Word. Ask anyone who has ever been tortured by sitting through it with me.)
* Dirty Dancing

4 Things That Comfort Me:
* My parents' house
* My yoga mat
* The quiver in Conor Oberst's voice
* A hoodie

4some 6:37 AM

4 places I've lived: Augusta, GA; Savannah, GA; Rome, GA; Woodstock, GA

4 jobs I've had: Taekwondo instructor; housekeeping (dorms in college, ick!) giving tours of campus in college, Project Director for virtual reality marketing research company

4 cars I've had: '86 Chrysler (it talked! "a door is ajar"), '93 Honda Civic (lease, I cried when we had to turn it back in. My dad expected to be able to roll it over into a new lease, but they weren't negotiating, so we walked away), '98 Mitsubishi Montero Sport (the lease ending worked out eventually), '03 GMC Yukon

4 foods I love: sweets, peanut butter, Boston Market sweet potatoes, french fries

4 drinks I order: wine, Long Island Iced Tea (best bang for the buck), margaritas, I don't usually order out, but prefer to BYO - especially not being beer drinkers, we were well known to have a cooler with us at all times.

4 web sites I'd be lost without: Blogger, Dictionary.com, Google Maps (literally, ha!), Snapfish.

4 role models or people that have influenced me: High school Latin teacher, Taekwondo Instructor, Marketing Professor in college, Hubby

4 events in your life that have shaped you: attending and graduating college, getting married, the births of my children

4 movies I could watch again and again: Ever After, Good Will Hunting, Dirty Dancing, Notting Hill

4 Things that give me comfort: Hugs, white noise and blankets to sleep, being at the lake, pictures

Ashtini, in fourths 6:50 AM

*4 places you've lived: 1) Rossville, Ga. 2) WVille, Ga. 3) Clara 102 4) Grace Street

* 4 jobs you've had: 1) Underglorified secretary at real estate office 2) Slopping slop in the dining hall 3) Tour Guide 4) Creative director at a marketing firm

* 4 cars you've had: 1) 1988 Ford Taurus (which I unequivocally hated) 2) 1989 Honda Accord, baby blue with pop-up lights (which I absolutely adored) 3) 1998 Toyota Corolla (which I had in the body shop so frequently, the guys in Wilmington knew me) 4) 2006 Toyota Rav4

* 4 web sites you'd be lost without: 1) IMDB.com 2) PerezHilton.com 3) Wikipedia 4) Google Images

* 4 foods you love: 1) Chocolate (I know it seems a cop out, but I do truly love it beyond almost anything) 2) Fried chicken 3) Justin's corn chowder 4) Mama's sourdough bread

* 4 role models or people that have influenced you: 1) Mama 2) Ms. Vesta 3) Jane Austen 4) J.K. Rowling

* 4 events in your life that have shaped you: 1) Moving to Wilmington/Grad school 2) The Panic 3) Dillon's birth 4) Ronnie's death

* 4 drinks you order: 1) Miller Light 2) Cosmopolitan 3) Diet Coke! 4) Pinot Grigio

* 4 movies you could watch again and again: 1) Bridget Jones' Diary 2) Clue 3) Singing in the Rain 4) Love Actually

* 4 things that comfort you/bring you comfort: 1) Kudzu curled up in my lap sleeping 2) Listening to Nick Drake's Pink Moon album on the iPod 3) Writing 4) Losing myself in a good book

the four-one-one... 3:08 AM

4 Places I've Lived:
-Watkinsville/Bogart/Eastville, Georgia
-Athens, Georgia, during college
-Verona, Italy while studying abroad at UGA
-Washington, DC

4 Jobs I've Had:
-Salon assistant
-Student Assistant @ UGA
-Underpaid Capitol Hill Staffer
-Special Assistant to CEO of Non-Profit Organization

4 Cars I've Had:
-Burgundy Honda Civic Sedan: my first car, lasted 2 weeks until jackass rear-ended it and it was totalled...I miss this car.
-Brown Honda Accord, until Sophomore Year of College
-Silver Honda Accord - AKA, Dad's old car. This car got me to DC and back several times, and all around the state of Georgia during my old boss' Senate campaign. I miss the Silver Bullet.
-BMW Z4 Convertible...my mid-life crisis car, 20 years early. Got me a speeding ticket within 6 months of ownership.

4 Web Sites I'd Be Lost Without:
-Drudge Report
-Facebook. Yeah, I said it. I'm addicted.
-Epicurious
-Pandora

4 Foods I Love:
-Chocolate
-A perfectly medium-rare New York Strip
-Cheese
-Seafood, all of it

4 People That Have Influenced Me:
-My parents
-My husband
-Niki, fellow smartini barmaid and partner-in-crime
-Carlos, the maintenance guy in my office building. The man works two jobs, 7 days a week, and he's always smiling. He's influenced me to smile, even when I don't feel like it.

4 Events in My Life That Have Shaped Me:
-College
-My first 2 years in Washington, DC
-The job I had working for "Big Oil" - my first job off of Capitol Hill; the first time I actually hated my job
-Marrying Chris

4 Drinks I Order:
-Grey Goose Martini, extra dirty, 3 olives
-Yuengling on Draft
-Margarita, rocks, salt
-Coca Cola, from the fountain

4 Movies I Could Watch Again and Again:
-Gone With The Wind
-Almost Famous
-When Harry Met Sally
-Ferris Bueller's Day Off

4 Things That Bring Me Comfort:
-Chris' hugs
-Taz, my furry cat/son
-Walking through North Campus at UGA on Game Day
-Spending time with a good friend, old or new

4 Your In4mation 6:00 AM

I see you with your anticipation of the weekly special, waiting anxiously to read all about me and satisfy your sick curiosity. Even though curiosity killed the cat, To hell with the cat!, you say, he was old and weak and couldn't hack it! I can! If you say so, then satisfy yourself!

The Great List O'Fours:

4 Places I've Lived - my hometown in Georgia, off to college in Athens, Ga., back to my hometown, and then off to tame the wild west in Kansas

4 Jobs I've Had- plant propagator, phone answerer, number cruncher, student helper

4 Cars I've Had - Ford Fairmont, Olds Cutlass (absolute worst car EVER), Honda Accord, Ford Explorer

4 Web Sites I'd Be Lost Without- Blogger, All Recipes, MSN, Google

4 Foods I Love- mashed potatoes, bacon, cheese, peanut butter

4 People That Have Influenced Me- my family, the friend that taught me how to dance, Jose Quervo and Captain Morgan (influenced in a not so good way, I might add)

4 Events in My Life That Have Shaped Me- high school, college, marriage and motherhood

4 Drinks I Order- Beer, beer, margarita (from that one Mexican joint that makes them SO STRONG and SO GOOD), beer

4 Movies I Could Watch Again and Again- Gone With the Wind, Christmas Vacation, Blazing Saddles, Old School

4 Things That Bring Me Comfort- hugs, laughter, that damn dog, beer (or wine or tequila)

Fab 4 3:42 PM

This week each of your barmaids will be revealing a little list about jobs we've had, places we've lived and drinks we love to order. We're limiting it to 4, but it will be interesting to see the mix. Join us in the comments if you have 4 you'd like to add.

WTFriday: I Think I'm Going To Puke 9:46 AM

Molly, from I Need A Martini... Now!, posted this story earlier this week and I thought I might be sick. I really don't know whether to believe it or not, but the part of my brain that likes to sleep well at night chooses to say this is a sham. Somebody, please tell me that spiders like this do not exist!

(Here's the whole story, copied directly from the Telegraph's website.)

Giant Spider Eating A Bird Caught On Camera

By Bonnie Malkin in Sydney
Last Updated: 3:01pm GMT 22/10/2008

Photographs of a giant spider eating a bird in an Australian garden have stunned wildlife experts.

Another spider eats a bird Mouse bites snake to death Film of a hug from a lion The pictures show the spider with its long black legs wrapped around the body of a dead bird suspended in its web. The startling images were reportedly taken in Atheron, close to Queensland's tropical north. Despite their unlikely subject matter, the pictures appear to be real. Joel Shakespeare, head spider keeper at the Australian Reptile Park, said the spider was a Golden Orb Weaver. "Normally they prey on large insects… it's unusual to see one eating a bird," he told ninemsn.com. Mr Shakepeare said he had seen Golden Orb Weaver spiders as big as a human hand but the northern species in tropical areas were known to grow larger. Queensland Museum identified the bird as a native finch called the Chestnut-breasted Mannikin. Heron eats rabbit Leopard savages crocodile Shark's killing display Mr Shakespeare told ninemsn the bird must have flown into the spider web and become stuck. "It wouldn't eat the whole bird," he said. "It uses its venom to break down the bird for eating and what it leaves is a food parcel," he said. Greg Czechura from Queensland Museum said cases of the Golden Orb Weaver eating small birds were "well known but rare". "It builds a very strong web," he said. But he said the spider would not have attacked until the bird weakened. The Golden Orb Weaver spins a strong web high in protein because it depends on it to capture large insects for food.

What do y'all think? If I lived in the area where these were supposedly taken, I'm pretty sure I would GET THE EFF OUT.

Election Results, by Pen 9:30 AM

To recap, I’m a registered Independent who has now officially voted three different ways for President in an election: Republican, Democrat, and Throw-Away (hey, I was 18). In this race, I began as an on-the-fencer and evolved from a brief Obama voter into a full-fledged NObama/McCain supporter. I never expected for a moment that the Repubs would win, although I will admit to a few brief, wayward fantasies. The fact of the matter is that although I certainly didn’t agree with all of his proposed policies, and I was a little skeptical of his reaching-across-the-aisle wishy-washiness, I truly respected John McCain as a candidate and as a truly great American by the end of the race. I’d cast my vote for him all over again. As such, it doesn’t really matter, and though I felt completely glum about it yesterday, I woke up today feeling slightly less miffed and am ready to recap my thoughts on…

The Election:

1. Nearly everyone and everything I voted for lost. With the exception of those offices where there was only one candidate, or those offices where there were three winners, my ballot was pretty much a dud. It doesn’t make me feel real good.
2. And if I lived in California, I would never have voted to ban gay marriage, and well, that wouldn’t have been effective, either. Downright depressing.
3. However, I was very proud this time to have fully done my research on every office I voted for, rather than a few shameful willy-nilly votes on ballots past. I only left one position blank, because I really couldn’t find any information on either person… It was for the local Soil/Water Conservation Department Supervisor, to which I was kind of like, why is this on the ballot? anyway.
4. My state, intriguingly, held out gray as the longest, until (I think) it was finally declared blue. Called that one, even though we apparently haven’t voted blue since Carter. To which I say, Exactly.
5. So, Obama. My original, brief, and theoretical vote for him stemmed from my prediction of national mood. It would have been ugly if he didn’t win. Really ugly.
6. Instead, the general national mood is now intensely positive, empowered, optimistic, etc. And I really do think that’s a good thing. America needs a big dose of that at this moment in time, truly.
7. However, put quite simply: I can’t say I fully get it. I can wrap my head around certain aspects of this victory, obviously, such as the historic and symbolic significance of the first black President, as well as the power of a party to rally and after the last two disappointing elections, push their decision through and even make it a landslide. Really, I get that; I voted Kerry in the last election to no avail, I was right there with you.
8. But my mind cannot block out the Dark Side. The shadows. In my attempt to make the most responsible, fully informed decision in this Presidential race, there was quite a bit about the Obama campaign that bothered me. Disturbed me, even.
9. And above all in this election, it really bothered me that the mainstream media (MSM) failed to apply equal scrutiny to the Democratic campaign, and specifically Obama as a candidate. No candidate should be painted by the MSM as a saint. For heaven’s sake, white, black, purple with green polka dots, we are talking about politicians here. I still feel like so much was brushed under the rug, which leaves me feeling even more skeptical, distrustful, and disappointed in the MSM, who as much as possible should serve as our watchdog over pushing their own agenda. If the MSM had at the very least brought some of the darker accusations surrounding Obama to the headlines and investigated those claims, proving them to be true or false, one way or the other, I would have felt much more comfortable with the course and outcome of this election. At least we would all be informed of more than the cost of Sarah Palin’s wardrobe.
10. Finally, and I say this less as a disappointed, this-time Republican voter than an individual who was born inherently skeptical of Rock Stars, who (usually to my detriment, socially speaking) refuses on principle to rally around the charismatic-types: I’m nervous. I know I might feel differently if our new President’s agenda fully matched my own ideals, but as it stands, I don’t believe in political magic wands. Charisma, to me, is a surface attribute only, not fully reflective of a person’s character and abilities. I need more, to be sold. I’m not close-minded, I can be persuaded. But I need more.

Well, we’re here now. So: Impress me. Go ahead, I’m ready to see what you’ve got.

To end on a more positive note, I am looking forward to having a President who inspires people, even children!—remember when kids would say they wanted to be President when they grew up? We could see that again. Also, a President whom other nations respect, who will maybe not make the US look foolish. And a President who can string together a proper sentence. It will be nice not to cringe when the man speaks, preemptively mortified on his behalf.

Who knows, maybe at the end of 4 or 8 years, our nation really will be all the better. I know a lot of you truly think so, and I do sincerely hope you’re right.

WTF Did I Do? 6:35 AM

As promised, and alluded to, here is the ab fab picture of me right before that fateful night in sixth grade. That's right, the night of my FIRST KISS at a combo birthday party for me and my sister. At a community center.

Just look at me! That right there is some grade A bangs-curling-under with the curling iron. And I'm pretty sure I had on Sam & Libby ballet flats with this ensemble. I mean, really, who could resist this fine fox of a middle schooler? Certainly not J, my boyfriend at the time who laid one on me during a slow dance. Yeah, I know. I was pretty awesome.

Oh, and J is now gay. Look at me, turning men gay. How Very Good For A Girl's Self Esteem.

What's your story? Get your first kiss on a slow dance at a community center combo birthday party with a boy who was/is gay? No? How about you lay it on me like J did?

WTF, Dawgs? 11:09 AM

Dear Dawgs,

You were ranked preseason #1. You had oodles of returning starters. Matt Stafford had grown into a confident, talented quarterback, and a leader of his great team. And, don't forget - we had Knowshon.

Now, I understand that we lost to Alabama....and now they're ranked tops in the polls. So I get it. They're an awesome team. We were outplayed and outcoached in that game. I get it.

And Florida is a GREAT team too. But we are - or at least I thought we WERE - as good, if not better, than the Gators this year. We came off a great win against LSU, in Baton Rouge, no less. We beat the defending national champs on their home turf, and decidedly so. We were ready for Florida.

But we got ahead of ourselves. And here's how:

!. We turned over the ball. Stafford threw three interceptions and Florida recovered one fumble. That's four turnovers, boys. That's too much to bear, especially when Florida's powerful spread offense capitalized on Every. Single. One. Of. Them.

2. Our field goal attemps were HORRIBLE. Freshman kicker Blair Walsh has only made three of his last eight attempts. Inexcusable. Period.

3. I know that I don't know football as well as many, but the decision to try an on-sides kick with 11 minutes left in the first half was the DUMBEST idea I think I've ever seen. We weren't even behind THAT badly yet...but when Florida recovered the kick on our 40 yard line...we all knew that the inevitable was coming...they were going to score on us. Again.

4. Florida's defensive line knew where our star running back Knowshon Moreno was at all times. Literally. They had him in double coverage the nanosecond after each play began. This killed our running game. And well, if you want to know how our passing game went, please refere to item #1.

So, bottom line...we were outplayed. Outcoached. But this time, we didn't have to be. We played a thorougly crappy game of football on Saturday, and I'm still steamed about it (in case you couldn't tell...).

But - we have three games to go...and they're not necessarily going to be easy. We have to finish strong...and pray to God that Stafford doesn't jump ship to the pros this year.

And dawgs, you know I am not a fair-weather fan. Hell, I stayed with you in the lean years (Donnan) and in the REALLY lean years (Goff). I've hung with you when Vandy beat us in 2006, when we lost to Tech in 1998...I've even been there for you every single year that Steve Spurrier beat y'all like a red-headed stepchild. And I still love you.

But really, WTF?

Love,
Tempe

Clearing out the cobwebs 11:03 PM

remnants of Halloween, I suppose. With this WTFever (I hadn't notice it spelling Fever before, had anyone else?), I'll do a list of thoughts from today as well:

*I thought we'd passed/missed Fall already. But, the leaves are really brilliant in my neighborhood now. I wanted to take pictures, especially with the sunlight coming through, but, alas, I didn't. And it's warming up again?!

*I had an interview (of sorts) today with a staffing agency (thanks to barmaid Ashley forwarding on my resume to someone who passed it along to someone at the staffing, who then contacted me!).

*I had to take some skills test online yesterday in preparation. Typing, Spelling!! and MS Word competency. They informed me that I did really well - I missed 3 spelling words and really wish I knew which ones. But, I can guess 'necessary' and 'occasion' because I abhor those words (and had misspelled them once again here as well as 'abhore!' Thanks SpellCheck!). The words were on the screen and you had to correct them if they were wrong or recognize and continue if they were right. Sometimes, that makes it harder, because they can look right, but if you typed it out yourself, you might get it right? But, then again, I was kind of glad for the help in most cases. And I missed 2 on the Word part somehow. I did take it before taking the "Tutorial" which seems to kind of defeat the purpose of the test if you ask me, so maybe using key strokes rather than the proper Edit, Cut counted against me? Also, she said I type really fast - I think I saw 76 on the page, so I would imagine that's WPM! She said I was Legal Secretary level. Sweet. Maybe I'll add that to my resume.

*I put on my "lucky" suit that I wore to my first/last interview. There was a penny in the pocket!

*There was a girl walking along the street with me that I had a feeling was looking for the same place. She was young and cute and much more casual, but still nicely dressed. With just a little bobby pin holding back her hair. I have no flair for hair or clothes or bags or shoes. I started to doubt myself in my stuffy suit - even though I do really like it because it's a unique color and has a striped sweater shirt underneath, so can transform to more casual easily. I ducked into the bathroom and composed myself.

*Sure enough she was the appointment before me (which meant I got to see her name signed in before me - Anna Kate, she goes by both) and was in the conference room right in front of the waiting areas. At the end, the conference door was open while other people came in to meet her, so I got to hear how she made them all laugh and worked for some events planning company that was doing a wedding for someone big, but I missed who. Again with the self doubt.

*The awards on display were for sponsorships, so not necessarily (misspelled again! sheesh) winning something. Interesting distinction.

*Parking was $9!! With the "stamp" from the agency that was apparently just $1 off. False advertising to make such a big deal about bringing your parking pass to get stamped, in my opinion!

*The computer keeps jumping around and putting my cursor in different random spots, so that I have to stop typing (in my super sonic speed), backspace, correct the line I jumped to, figure out where I was and try to continue with my thoughts. It's really annoying.

*It's NaBloPoMo or whatever. I think I've already missed the boat. It's a fun challenge, though, and back when I had time to read everyone's blogs, I really looked forward to having something to check every day! I know Nik's participating, so that's one to check.

*How much Halloween candy does everyone else have left over? Megs, what did you allow Miss E to trade her candy in for this year?

*I feel like we are on the brink of some real history tonight. I'm kind of jittery. I think I'll go watch Gossip Girl and possibly do my part in making some of that Halloween candy disappear.

Me, too! 6:46 PM

This past Saturday I cast my ballot.  I can't find my sticker, despite reports to the contrary.  Nonetheless, I do have a picture for you.

No, that is NOT me.  It was the funniest image to me when I googled "i voted boobs."

It was last Wednesday, but still 11:45 AM

I Voted 10:57 AM

Rock It. Check It. Just Do It. 6:55 AM

Vote, people.

Today is ELECTION DAY.

Whatever your party affiliation - or even if your party affiliation is "Yes, I like to" - get out and vote. Whether you want to say "yes we can" or "you betcha" - it's your right to do it. Pachyderm or pack mule, get on your feet and make your way to the polling place. It's time for change - whatever you think that means...a changing of the guard, a changing of the party in control, a changing of the name that comes after President. And you need to help usher in that change. Be a maverick. Be an agent of change. Please, please, please - exercise your right.

If you're waffling, watch this scene from Iron-Jawed Angels, HBO's film about the women's suffrage movement. If it doesn't make you want to go out and vote, I don't know WTF will.

It's your voice. Use it.

WTF BCS? 9:40 PM

I'm not sure if we've ever had any sports discussions here at the bar, aside from the Olympics and me going cuckoo for cocoa puffs over Rafael Nadal, but since we've had quite a bit of football talk in the comments section of Megan's post, I think we might be ready for this.

Disclaimer before I start: I am a big Florida Gator fan. Always have been (since age 6), probably always will be, yes even though I went to UGA. I'm an enigma, I know. Now you are aware of any bias I may or may not have on the current issue, and away we go.

I'm dying to know - am I the only person who thinks the BCS is a load of malarkey and should be abolished in favor of a playoff system? Why is it exactly that NCAA Division I football is the only college sport with such random, subjective championship-deciding as polls and rankings? Who out there is in support of this madness? Does anyone actually understand this stupid formula?

Really and truly, I am curious. I guess I like the tradition of the bowls and the neurotic excitement of "will your team lose a game," but for as long as I've been a football fan (forever), I've never understood the lack of playoffs.

I know, I know, it probably all comes down to money, and if so, that truly Sucks.

P.S. Did ya'll know they cancelled class in grade schools and high schools in Athens and some surrounding areas the day before the GA-FL game? It seems there was a pattern of "twice as many teachers" calling in sick that day as a normal school day, and they were constantly short on teachers that day. Loves it.

(P.S. Squared. Confidential to Sheila - Texas Tech was awesome the other night! Unfortunately, I now have to pull against them versus Oklahoma or Oklahoma State due to BCS nonsense and the fact that I need Texas Tech and/or Penn St to lose before Florida *hopefully* meets Alabama in the SEC Championship so the Gators can remain in the title hunt. Other than that, I'm a convert because Graham what's-his-name - totally hot. Hottest player I've seen this year.)

Did Megan Say FUBAR? 9:09 PM

This may be crossing the line, but who am I to shy away from controversy?

If any of you have heard of a "penis sleeve" prior to the publication of this post, please, PLEASE let us know in the comments. (Anonymous is welcome, especially if you want to hide first-hand experience.)

For those of you in the dark, like I was, please proceed to this link. It's apparently some sort of male vibrator. Who knew?

Well On My Way To Making The Bar FUBAR 12:35 PM

Well, kids, since this week you are at the mercy of our whims and desires as to what we are serving up, I thought I would get us started with a bang. Last week I showed you how perfectly capable I am of tossing out bits of random information so you will nary be surprised once you lay your eyes upon my crock pot o' whatever's in the freezer of my brain:

*Since two of my co-workers celebrated birthdays last week, I was a snack making fool. (We don't turn down any viable reason to celebrate with tasty treats, you see.) I used four recipes from my arsenal, three of which came from All Recipes, my very best go-to site for cooking inspiration.

The recipes, possibly with my slight variation:

Mini Cheesecakes

• 1 (12 ounce) package vanilla wafers
• 2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese ROOM TEMPERATURE
  
• 3/4 cup white sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 (21 ounce) can cherry pie filling
  

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Line miniature muffin tins (tassie pans) with miniature paper liners.
2. Crush the vanilla wafers, and place 1/2 teaspoon of the crushed vanilla wafers into each paper cup. OR you can leave them whole and place on wafer, flat side down, in each cup.
   
3. In a mixing bowl, beat cream cheese, sugar, eggs and vanilla until light and fluffy. Fill each miniature muffin liner with this mixture, almost to the top.
4. Bake for 15 minutes. Cool. Top with a teaspoonful of cherry pie filling.

Dill Dip

• 1 and 1/3 cup mayonnaise
• 2/3 cup sour cream
• 1 and 1/2 teaspoon dried parsley
• 2 Tablespoons grated onion
• 1 and 1/2 Tablespoons dried dill weed
• 3/4 teaspoon seasoning salt
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic salt

Combine all ingredients and mix well. Let flavors blend overnight. Serve with veggies, chips or with bread (beer bread or Hawaiian sweet bread bowl).

Bacon Wrapped Li'l Smokies
(Omg, how can you beat bacon wrapped anything, let alone Li'l Smokies?!)

• 1 pound sliced bacon, cut in half
  
• 1 (14 ounce) package beef cocktail wieners
• 1 cup brown sugar, or to taste
  

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).
2. Wrap each cocktail wiener with a piece of bacon and secure with a toothpick. Place on a large baking sheet. Sprinkle brown sugar generously over all.
3. Bake for 40 minutes in the preheated oven, until the sugar is bubbly. To serve, place the wieners in a slow cooker and keep on the low setting.

The other recipe that didn't come from All Recipes, well, that's the gold standard, wow 'em every time, make you sweat butter just by looking at them But Oh Are They Worth It:

Caramel Bars

1 stick plus 5T butter, melted
1 and 1/4 C self rising flour
1 and 1/4 C oatmeal
1 C brown sugar
3T butter
1 (14 oz) bag of caramels
3T milk
1 C semi sweet chocolate chips, if desired
chopped pecans, if desired

Mix first six ingredients and pat 2/3 of the mixture into a 9x13 pan and bake 10 minutes at 350. You may try to not eat any of the remaining 1/3 mix, but you can't. So don't bother.

Combine caramels with 3T of butter and 3T milk and melt in the microwave, stirring occasionally until smooth (mine took 2 1/2 minutes).

Pour caramel over baked crust. Mix chocolate chips or pecans, if desired, with remainder of oatmeal mixture and sprinkle on top of caramel. Bake 15 minutes at 350. Let cool to form bars or just eat with a fork if you are as impatient as me.

* I'm still using the lamper and experiencing that feel good moment when I take all of the recycling to the collection center. One of the bags in the lamper has been devoted solely to beer bottles and Diet Coke cans. CLEARLY I HAVE A PROBLEM.

* Friday night I got Trick or Treated standing by my vehicle in my friend's driveway. Lazy kids, don't even want to go to the door anymore! I could hardly hide the contempt on my face as I looked at those little 15 year old shits and told them I don't have anything, you've got to go to the door. I thought of you, Bj, wishing my friend would hand out parmesan cheese and soy sauce packs like you do to the ones that are too old!

* I watched a little football this weekend. And that's all I want to say about that. (Except for Yea to Sheila and her Red Raiders!)

* Time change positive: An extra hour. Time change negative: It's Too Damn Dark Too Damn Early. I'm pretty sure it could stay light until 9 o'clock all year long and that would be okay with me.

* I plan on going to vote early today and keeping that I Voted sticker near and dear until Tuesday when I will slap that puppy on my chest first thing. If we have anything good on our sticker, like Andi's Georgia Peach, I'll be sure to report back. But I'm pretty sure not.

* Still having trouble with the internet at home. It's a leetle bit scary how much I go through withdrawal without it... especially over the weekend when I can't check email for two days! I know, the horror, right?!

* Since I didn't have the internet to goof off with, I decided that it was high time I took a look into the grey hair situation at the top of my head. I immediately found three hairs, which I plucked, and then stopped. I'd rather be a old grey head than an old bald head (which I surely would be if I carried on). Made a mental note to call the salon so that I can get this shiz covered up, pronto.

* Ahem. Bj has divulged some very interesting information regarding some readers that we may have that don't comment. Belle, Trish and Sunny, are you there? Because we'll pretty much do all sorts of party tricks to get comments. Or at least I will. Speak up ladies! What's the price I have to pay to get your comment love? If you think this sounds a bit like comment whoring, you would be absolutely correct.

And there you have it. My contribution to to WTFever Week. But don't think I'm done, ooooh no. I'm pretty sure I have yet to make good on a promise to display a certain photo of myself apres first kiss in all of my sixth grader glory. Fabulous!

Weekly Special? We Don't Need No Weekly Special! 9:13 AM

It's total anarchy at the bar this week as we proclaim that we shall have no weekly special. A little bit of WTFever we want... Who knows what kind of post will strike our fancy? Just pictures? A little anecdote from an Halloween party? A Woo Hoo, Let's Celebrate because MY CANDIDATE WON! / Holy Crap I'm Drowning My Sorrows Because MY CANDIDATE LOST on Wednesday?

Maybe the barmaids will change up shifts and come in whenever they feel like it, even.

Oooo, I feels so good to be so bad!