Just in time for the big "Sex and the City" movie premier, I notice that our good friend Skipper has been showing up on my TV. Ben Weber, who played Skipper in S&TC, appears to be the very uncomfortable job interviewee in the most recent Gas-X commercial.
The commercial itself is pretty funny, with the interviewer saying "I see your flatulent in three languages and graduated at the top of your gas." The assistant breaks in with "Your son Rip is on line toot." Hi-larious to me the at home watcher, but is this really where Skipper's career has lead him? Snarfing Gas-X strips? So sad, and totally WTF? (Actually, I read that Skipper has also been on my TV as one of the Geico cavemen. Wait, what?)
Friday, May 30, 2008
I am a lame, cheap (and slightly claustrophobic) bastard. 8:01 AM
And therefore, I have not been to many concerts. The other Smartinis are way, way cooler than me. In fact, I'm almost embarrassed... well here I go anyway. Answering the question.
1989, NKOTB. The Carrier Dome, Syracuse, NY. Thinking back on it, I'm still shocked I was allowed to go, not only because of the cost, but also the fact of it being a concert an hour and half away from home? I think it might even have been on a school night. The mind boggles. But, I was absolutely, 100% devoted to Joey-Joe and the rest of the boys. You couldn't see my bedroom wallpaper for a good year in there for all the posters and magazine pull-outs I had taped up everywhere. I remember we screamed so loud, and it was ridiculous, because Joey, Jordan, Jonathan, Donnie, and Danny were so far away I might as well have been watching their Mattel action figures perform on that stage. It was exhilarating, though, the whole experience, particularly after the concert when the limo drove by as we were walking back to my friend's parents' car, and we saw one of their hands. The window was cracked and that hand was casually grasping the trim right above the window. The hand was wearing a big fat ring. And really, it could have belonged to anyone, maybe Danny's cousin's next-door neighbor's Uncle Sal, but what they hell did it matter. We shrieked and ran after the car anyway.
Fast forward through several years of lame, cheap bastard living, rarely getting out the house to go anywhere, much less to a concert, and I began dating J.Lo. J.Lo is quite into music, had racks in his living room crammed with CDs, and so concerts were an obvious, necessary date. We saw Norah Jones at the House of Blues in Myrtle Beach. Man, she's gorgeous. Then Clutch (of all things, I went to see CLUTCH) downtown at Mars. Marz? Marzz, maybe. See, I couldn't even tell you how they spell the venue name, and I've only lived here 7 years and visited said venue twice. Sadly, I couldn't tell you who that second visit was for. Maybe the Scissor Sisters? I think that was it. I think I might have been a little, erm, blitzed during the Scissor Sisters, to the point where it's a wonder J.Lo continued to date me, much less marry me and have two kiddos! But I digress.
We went back to the House of Blues at some point, for my birthday I think, to see G.Love. And that was fantastic. As was the last concert I went to, which was Donovan Frankenreiter on Valentine's Day, 2005, at the Soapbox. The Soapbox is a pretty small venue, and the tickets were uber-cheap, so it was quite a fantastic, romantic date, heading downtown after a nice meal out to see one of Jack Johnson's pals.
Speaking of Jack Johnson, here are the concerts that I would see (will see, once I hit the jackpot) in a heartbeat:
Jack Johnson, preferably outdoors
Ben Folds
Death Cab for Cutie
The Shins
Cake
Paul Simon, with or without Garfunkel, I'm not picky
NKOTB, the reunion tour, without a shred of shame
I also wouldn't mind seeing:
Vampire Weekend
The Thrills
John Mayer
Matt Costa
Donovan Frankenreiter, again
Brett Dennen
David Gray
Billy Joel
Sarah Harmer
Sarah McLachlin
Natalie Merchant
Norah Jones, again
Alison Krauss
Flight of the Conchords
Hell, I'd even see Barry Manilow at this point. Or John Denver, if he hadn't left on a jet plane. And The Beatles, of course, if I had been born much earlier.
Those would be super-fun, if I had the money and/or was willing to spend it. And if I weren't such a crowd-phobe. And a loudness-phobe. And if I didn't get annoyed about little things like being too short to see over the Tall People.
Seriously guys, I'm so lame. A prioties overhaul might be in order. I must get back to the Jukebox!
1989, NKOTB. The Carrier Dome, Syracuse, NY. Thinking back on it, I'm still shocked I was allowed to go, not only because of the cost, but also the fact of it being a concert an hour and half away from home? I think it might even have been on a school night. The mind boggles. But, I was absolutely, 100% devoted to Joey-Joe and the rest of the boys. You couldn't see my bedroom wallpaper for a good year in there for all the posters and magazine pull-outs I had taped up everywhere. I remember we screamed so loud, and it was ridiculous, because Joey, Jordan, Jonathan, Donnie, and Danny were so far away I might as well have been watching their Mattel action figures perform on that stage. It was exhilarating, though, the whole experience, particularly after the concert when the limo drove by as we were walking back to my friend's parents' car, and we saw one of their hands. The window was cracked and that hand was casually grasping the trim right above the window. The hand was wearing a big fat ring. And really, it could have belonged to anyone, maybe Danny's cousin's next-door neighbor's Uncle Sal, but what they hell did it matter. We shrieked and ran after the car anyway.
Fast forward through several years of lame, cheap bastard living, rarely getting out the house to go anywhere, much less to a concert, and I began dating J.Lo. J.Lo is quite into music, had racks in his living room crammed with CDs, and so concerts were an obvious, necessary date. We saw Norah Jones at the House of Blues in Myrtle Beach. Man, she's gorgeous. Then Clutch (of all things, I went to see CLUTCH) downtown at Mars. Marz? Marzz, maybe. See, I couldn't even tell you how they spell the venue name, and I've only lived here 7 years and visited said venue twice. Sadly, I couldn't tell you who that second visit was for. Maybe the Scissor Sisters? I think that was it. I think I might have been a little, erm, blitzed during the Scissor Sisters, to the point where it's a wonder J.Lo continued to date me, much less marry me and have two kiddos! But I digress.
We went back to the House of Blues at some point, for my birthday I think, to see G.Love. And that was fantastic. As was the last concert I went to, which was Donovan Frankenreiter on Valentine's Day, 2005, at the Soapbox. The Soapbox is a pretty small venue, and the tickets were uber-cheap, so it was quite a fantastic, romantic date, heading downtown after a nice meal out to see one of Jack Johnson's pals.
Speaking of Jack Johnson, here are the concerts that I would see (will see, once I hit the jackpot) in a heartbeat:
Jack Johnson, preferably outdoors
Ben Folds
Death Cab for Cutie
The Shins
Cake
Paul Simon, with or without Garfunkel, I'm not picky
NKOTB, the reunion tour, without a shred of shame
I also wouldn't mind seeing:
Vampire Weekend
The Thrills
John Mayer
Matt Costa
Donovan Frankenreiter, again
Brett Dennen
David Gray
Billy Joel
Sarah Harmer
Sarah McLachlin
Natalie Merchant
Norah Jones, again
Alison Krauss
Flight of the Conchords
Hell, I'd even see Barry Manilow at this point. Or John Denver, if he hadn't left on a jet plane. And The Beatles, of course, if I had been born much earlier.
Those would be super-fun, if I had the money and/or was willing to spend it. And if I weren't such a crowd-phobe. And a loudness-phobe. And if I didn't get annoyed about little things like being too short to see over the Tall People.
Seriously guys, I'm so lame. A prioties overhaul might be in order. I must get back to the Jukebox!
While You Were at the Bar 5/30 6:00 AM
Want to know WTF is going on here on this WTFriday?
News you can use:
The Texas Supreme Court upheld a ruling by a lower court in the case involving children taken from the polygamist ranch. The court found that the removal of the children from the ranch "was not warranted." This decision should pave the way for the children to be reunited with their families.
Check out these photos of an uncontacted tribe in the Amazon Basin, near the border with Peru. The tribe is counted as one of over 100 uncontacted tribes in the world, according to Survival International. Very interesting, no?
Harvey Korman, 81, died yesterday in Los Angeles. Korman was best known for being a cast member on "The Carol Burnett Show" and his role in "Blazing Saddles." BS is one of my favorite movies and one of the reasons why is Korman's portrayal of Hedley Lamarr.
News you can lose:
Steven Tyler, of the group Aerosmith, has checked himself into rehab to give himself "a safe environment to recuperate" after having several foot surgeries that were more painful than expected. He says Areosmith will still keep rockin', even while his is in the rockin' chair.
Word of the Day:
ruminate: To chew the cud; or to meditate or ponder over; to muse on.
This is no time for chewing your cud - just ruminate on the question and answer as quickly as you can!
News you can use:
The Texas Supreme Court upheld a ruling by a lower court in the case involving children taken from the polygamist ranch. The court found that the removal of the children from the ranch "was not warranted." This decision should pave the way for the children to be reunited with their families.
Check out these photos of an uncontacted tribe in the Amazon Basin, near the border with Peru. The tribe is counted as one of over 100 uncontacted tribes in the world, according to Survival International. Very interesting, no?
Harvey Korman, 81, died yesterday in Los Angeles. Korman was best known for being a cast member on "The Carol Burnett Show" and his role in "Blazing Saddles." BS is one of my favorite movies and one of the reasons why is Korman's portrayal of Hedley Lamarr.
News you can lose:
Steven Tyler, of the group Aerosmith, has checked himself into rehab to give himself "a safe environment to recuperate" after having several foot surgeries that were more painful than expected. He says Areosmith will still keep rockin', even while his is in the rockin' chair.
Word of the Day:
ruminate: To chew the cud; or to meditate or ponder over; to muse on.
This is no time for chewing your cud - just ruminate on the question and answer as quickly as you can!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Groupie Girl 8:46 AM
(I apologize in advance - when you ask my to list these things, I get wwaaayy caught up in remembering every. Single. ONE. I can't make myself stop. I'm so sorry.)
Holy mackerel. I have no idea how to tackle this post, so I'm copying Megan and Andria here and going for the chronological. No doubt omitting a ton of shows because I was highly intoxicated.
Early Childhood Education
* Alabama - Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium; my parents made me go.
*Kenny Rogers - My aunt and uncle were friends with Kenny and MaryAnne, so we got free tickets and backstage passes. Opening band was a group of brothers whose name I cannot remember for the life of me. Not Oakridge Boys (I don't think)...but something like that.
* NKOTB - HOLLA! My first concert with Andi, but sadly the last with her side ponytail. At the Omni, and I saw not Tempe but a boy we both ended up kissing in our teenage years.
High School
* Lilith Fair #1 - My first concert with Ashley (or was that Counting Crows?), my first real peek into the life of a lesbian
* Live - Apparently my first concert with Megan! Also crowd-surfed, landed on my bum. Ouch. Really awesome concert though, really awesome. One of my favorites. (Aside: Pete Droge opened for Live, and I later became a really big fan of his, disappointed that I didn't appreciate this show more.)
* Mel and the Party Hats (80s cover band) - Um, not naming names, but I believe a certain other Smartini girl was present at a party where we snuck out and went to see Mel at the Georgia Theatre (am I making this up and/or confusing it with the time I snuck out to a frat party and saw Mel??). First use of fake ID. Awesome.
* Counting Crows - Right? Our first show was at the Classic Center, Fiona Apple opened - we were in high school, Ash? Also a really great time. Later saw Counting Crows multiple times - once at Chastain, where we met Adam Duritz, and at a festival in England (see below).
* Tori Amos - Right before this show my parents read an article in the paper where she said performing with the crowd's response was akin to having an orgasm. They were not so pleased to let me and Jenn attend, but I went anyway.
* Blind Melon - At the Tate Center, opening act was Ben Lee (who dated Claire Danes at the time) and Matchbox 20 - they hit it really big about 6 months later, and I like to take some credit for that. Blind Melon, well, they sucked.
College!
* Hepcat - local Ska band that was phenomenal, some of the best shows of my life until they broke up
* Jennifer Nettles - I have seen her probably more than almost any other act, always a good show; I mean who doesn't like "sex on stage"?
* Kinchafoonee Cowboys - Thanks to Megs who showed me a good time one night while I was fighting with my then-boyfriend (who took me to ska shows...he was not pleased that I sampled the country music). Megan - did you also drag me to see David Allen Coe, or did I fend that one off?
* More Lillith Fair - I think this was the first place I saw Indigo Girls, Sarah McLachlan, I just can't even name them all. Maybe Dixie Chicks? Biff Naked, I remember that for all the wrong reasons.
* Dido/Travis - Flirted my way to the 4th row, center. Also met a Brazilian boy. Need I say more about the fabulousness of this concert? (Confession: This was just after my first sojourn in England, so I totally took a Union Jack to the concert and waved it around - both Dido and Travis are Brit acts.)
* Jonathan Richman - A boyfriend's choice, but a damn fine one.
* Elf Power/Crooked Finger - Also boyfriend recommendation, but really, really beautiful music.
* More Indigo Girls - I've seen them so many times in so many periods of my life, it's useless to recount them all here.
* Jump, Little Children - Multiple times. Once Megs' and my roommate, Katie, and I snuck up on-stage after and into the band's dressing room. We were "scolded" by the upright-bassist and he gave us a "spanking." Hot. As the title indicates, I'm totally a groupie.
* Glastonbury Music Festival - 3-day festival in UK where you camp out and listen to music on about 9 different stages from dusk til dawn. Probably the best concert experience of my life. I worked at a vegetarian restaurant to get free admission. Memorable moments include: surviving the second row mosh-pit of a Cypress Hill set in order to be front row for Counting Crows; Nine Inch Nails for the first time; Ozomatli one of the funnest bands of all time; David Bowie HUGELY overrated; Willie Nelson, Chemical Brothers, Macy Gray
Ok, I have to stop doing commentary or I'll never get through this.
* Ani Difranco (security - Andi, I think you worked that with me. Lots of angry lesbians because we had to keep them from dancing in the aisle!)
* Green Day - so ashamed. I worked security and Billy Joe hit on me before the show. He is not much taller than my pinky toe.
* Music Midtown - worked security backstage on the main stage, different year than Andi. My favorite concert moment of all time happened here - Live was on, it was Saturday night, and they had brought Dennis Rodman with them onstage as well as a bunch of "guests." They put me and a couple other small, white girls on stage to ensure the "guests" didn't take over the stage. For that one hour I was a Rock Star - the fans were screaming at the stage, and I could totally experience the rush it must be to perform in front of thousands of screaming fans. Then Dennis Rodman incited a riot and we all sort of got in trouble. Totally not our fault.
* Ben Harper - he touched my arm when I escorted him to his tourbus as his "security guard." He's even hotter in person. I've seen him several times and he always puts on a great show.
* The Wallflowers
* Widespread Panic - FREE! In downtown Athens. Megan - weren't you there?? Andi??
* Craig David
I give up. I can't remember any more from this period of my life.
Law School and Beyond
* Blackalicious - My boyfriends have excellent taste in live music, I must say.
* Bright Eyes/Feist - AAAAHHH. Conor. Our first time was great. We were right across the street from the White House and we all screamed "When the President Talks to God" as the encore. We fell in love, then you stayed away from touring for two years and broke my heart. Oh, and Feist rocked as well.
* Alison Wedding - she was one of my housemates in Australia; she's a gorgeous jazz-inspired musician.
* The GZA - It's true. Wu-Tang totally doesn't start on time.
* Aimee Mann - not as good as I wanted to her to be.
* Brazilian band at Latin American Festival in Melbourne - it was so freaking sweaty in there, but they were so jamming and we were having so much fun that no one cared. I loved them so much I texted myself their name, but uh, have totally forgotten it now.
* The Felice Brothers/Nic Freitas - THE FELICE BROTHERS ROCK. GO SEE THEM IF YOU CAN!
* David Dondero - most recent concert with Ash, who may be my most frequent concert-going buddy.
DISCLAIMER: This excludes a boatload of crappy local bands and friends' bands that I've seen and cannot remember details about.
Wish List
This list could be longer than what I've posted, but I'll keep it to the top three off the top of my head:
* Johnny Cash - LEGEND.
* Jack Johnson - I want to be his girlfriend. How have I not seen him live by now??
* Rilo Kiley - I'm obsessed.
Holy mackerel. I have no idea how to tackle this post, so I'm copying Megan and Andria here and going for the chronological. No doubt omitting a ton of shows because I was highly intoxicated.
Early Childhood Education
* Alabama - Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium; my parents made me go.
*Kenny Rogers - My aunt and uncle were friends with Kenny and MaryAnne, so we got free tickets and backstage passes. Opening band was a group of brothers whose name I cannot remember for the life of me. Not Oakridge Boys (I don't think)...but something like that.
* NKOTB - HOLLA! My first concert with Andi, but sadly the last with her side ponytail. At the Omni, and I saw not Tempe but a boy we both ended up kissing in our teenage years.
High School
* Lilith Fair #1 - My first concert with Ashley (or was that Counting Crows?), my first real peek into the life of a lesbian
* Live - Apparently my first concert with Megan! Also crowd-surfed, landed on my bum. Ouch. Really awesome concert though, really awesome. One of my favorites. (Aside: Pete Droge opened for Live, and I later became a really big fan of his, disappointed that I didn't appreciate this show more.)
* Mel and the Party Hats (80s cover band) - Um, not naming names, but I believe a certain other Smartini girl was present at a party where we snuck out and went to see Mel at the Georgia Theatre (am I making this up and/or confusing it with the time I snuck out to a frat party and saw Mel??). First use of fake ID. Awesome.
* Counting Crows - Right? Our first show was at the Classic Center, Fiona Apple opened - we were in high school, Ash? Also a really great time. Later saw Counting Crows multiple times - once at Chastain, where we met Adam Duritz, and at a festival in England (see below).
* Tori Amos - Right before this show my parents read an article in the paper where she said performing with the crowd's response was akin to having an orgasm. They were not so pleased to let me and Jenn attend, but I went anyway.
* Blind Melon - At the Tate Center, opening act was Ben Lee (who dated Claire Danes at the time) and Matchbox 20 - they hit it really big about 6 months later, and I like to take some credit for that. Blind Melon, well, they sucked.
College!
* Hepcat - local Ska band that was phenomenal, some of the best shows of my life until they broke up
* Jennifer Nettles - I have seen her probably more than almost any other act, always a good show; I mean who doesn't like "sex on stage"?
* Kinchafoonee Cowboys - Thanks to Megs who showed me a good time one night while I was fighting with my then-boyfriend (who took me to ska shows...he was not pleased that I sampled the country music). Megan - did you also drag me to see David Allen Coe, or did I fend that one off?
* More Lillith Fair - I think this was the first place I saw Indigo Girls, Sarah McLachlan, I just can't even name them all. Maybe Dixie Chicks? Biff Naked, I remember that for all the wrong reasons.
* Dido/Travis - Flirted my way to the 4th row, center. Also met a Brazilian boy. Need I say more about the fabulousness of this concert? (Confession: This was just after my first sojourn in England, so I totally took a Union Jack to the concert and waved it around - both Dido and Travis are Brit acts.)
* Jonathan Richman - A boyfriend's choice, but a damn fine one.
* Elf Power/Crooked Finger - Also boyfriend recommendation, but really, really beautiful music.
* More Indigo Girls - I've seen them so many times in so many periods of my life, it's useless to recount them all here.
* Jump, Little Children - Multiple times. Once Megs' and my roommate, Katie, and I snuck up on-stage after and into the band's dressing room. We were "scolded" by the upright-bassist and he gave us a "spanking." Hot. As the title indicates, I'm totally a groupie.
* Glastonbury Music Festival - 3-day festival in UK where you camp out and listen to music on about 9 different stages from dusk til dawn. Probably the best concert experience of my life. I worked at a vegetarian restaurant to get free admission. Memorable moments include: surviving the second row mosh-pit of a Cypress Hill set in order to be front row for Counting Crows; Nine Inch Nails for the first time; Ozomatli one of the funnest bands of all time; David Bowie HUGELY overrated; Willie Nelson, Chemical Brothers, Macy Gray
Ok, I have to stop doing commentary or I'll never get through this.
* Ani Difranco (security - Andi, I think you worked that with me. Lots of angry lesbians because we had to keep them from dancing in the aisle!)
* Green Day - so ashamed. I worked security and Billy Joe hit on me before the show. He is not much taller than my pinky toe.
* Music Midtown - worked security backstage on the main stage, different year than Andi. My favorite concert moment of all time happened here - Live was on, it was Saturday night, and they had brought Dennis Rodman with them onstage as well as a bunch of "guests." They put me and a couple other small, white girls on stage to ensure the "guests" didn't take over the stage. For that one hour I was a Rock Star - the fans were screaming at the stage, and I could totally experience the rush it must be to perform in front of thousands of screaming fans. Then Dennis Rodman incited a riot and we all sort of got in trouble. Totally not our fault.
* Ben Harper - he touched my arm when I escorted him to his tourbus as his "security guard." He's even hotter in person. I've seen him several times and he always puts on a great show.
* The Wallflowers
* Widespread Panic - FREE! In downtown Athens. Megan - weren't you there?? Andi??
* Craig David
I give up. I can't remember any more from this period of my life.
Law School and Beyond
* Blackalicious - My boyfriends have excellent taste in live music, I must say.
* Bright Eyes/Feist - AAAAHHH. Conor. Our first time was great. We were right across the street from the White House and we all screamed "When the President Talks to God" as the encore. We fell in love, then you stayed away from touring for two years and broke my heart. Oh, and Feist rocked as well.
* Alison Wedding - she was one of my housemates in Australia; she's a gorgeous jazz-inspired musician.
* The GZA - It's true. Wu-Tang totally doesn't start on time.
* Aimee Mann - not as good as I wanted to her to be.
* Brazilian band at Latin American Festival in Melbourne - it was so freaking sweaty in there, but they were so jamming and we were having so much fun that no one cared. I loved them so much I texted myself their name, but uh, have totally forgotten it now.
* The Felice Brothers/Nic Freitas - THE FELICE BROTHERS ROCK. GO SEE THEM IF YOU CAN!
* David Dondero - most recent concert with Ash, who may be my most frequent concert-going buddy.
DISCLAIMER: This excludes a boatload of crappy local bands and friends' bands that I've seen and cannot remember details about.
Wish List
This list could be longer than what I've posted, but I'll keep it to the top three off the top of my head:
* Johnny Cash - LEGEND.
* Jack Johnson - I want to be his girlfriend. How have I not seen him live by now??
* Rilo Kiley - I'm obsessed.
While You Were at the Bar 5/29 6:00 AM
Whip out your plastic and get ready to drink. We are looking for some good music and some good tippers!
News you can use:Former Press Secretary Scott McClellan has written a book that is sure to strike up all kinds of trouble. In his book McClellan gives details of the Bush White House and airs multiple loads of dirty laundry. Look for his appearance on morning shows today.
Nepal's leadership has voted to change the country from a monarchy to a republic. The group said that they would send a letter to the king stating that he and his family had 15 days to vacate the royal palace. The Nepalese decided to create the position of president, who will serve as the head of state.
The National Spelling Bee begins today with preliminary rounds and will finish in prime time on ABC Friday night. Two of the competitors will be returning for their fifth appearance each and are favorites in the competition. Read this article and tell me that they don't sound like they are 40. I mean, I want my kids to be geniuses and all, but whoa... maybe not. (I will totally be watching and trying to spell the words too. And then possibly laughing at the kids who take this way too seriously.)
News you can lose:
Rachael Ray's new ad for Dunkin' Donuts' iced coffee has been pulled due to some crazy lady, who happens to be a nationally syndicated columnist, writing that Rachael's scarf has terrorist links. Yes, really. Apparently Michelle Malkin thinks Ray's scarf looks like a kiffiyeh, which has been seen on several people associated with terrorism. Maybe that's taking things a little too far, Michelle. I bet Rachael could whip up something (like this woman's ass) in 30 minutes. Or less.
Word of the Day:
ribald: characterized by or given to vulgar humor; coarse or a ribald person; a lewd fellow
I am so full of ribald humor that it's not even funny. Wait, was that a pun? Oh how I love to be punny. Wait, was that a pun upon a pun?!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Let's Have Harry Over For A Drink 10:18 PM
TO: PatronsFROM: Megan
RE: New Tipping Guidelines
PRIORITY: Seriously Urgent
As it appears, we at Smartini are going to have to ask that all patrons begin tipping their bartenders about fifty times the cost of their drinks. While this may seem a bit extreme, the Smartini girls are in dire need of raising some fat cash by June 10th to support some charity or another. You see, J.K. Rowling, in all of her fantastical goodness, has written an 800 word outline for a prequel to our beloved Harry Potter books and Waterstone is offering it up in an auction. An auction that we would desperately like to win given our fondness for boy wizards and the like.
Please dig deep into your pockets and support our unhealthy obsession with all things Hogwarts, HP and wizardry in general. If you need help calculating your tip, just ask! We were all math majors and can easily round it up to the nearest thousand for you. (You might even get a little kissy kissy, smoochy smoochy out of the deal, depending on your bartender and your level of generosity.)
Drinks on the house all day on the 11th if we make it back with the outline in our hot little hands. There might even be a theatrical reading of the outline, since we were all theater majors as well.
Please resume your drinking. And tipping. Thank you.
an open (and brief) letter to kate hudson 9:43 AM
Dear Katers,Please cut your kid’s hair. I can't imagine how maddening it must be for little Ryder to keep hearing from perfect strangers, “Oh, your daughter is SO CUTE! How old is she?”
That is all.
Peace out,
Tempe
While You Were at the Bar 5/28 6:00 AM
First time here and want to know what all these fine ladies are doing?
News you can use:
Senator Barack Obama, in a Memorial Day speech, mistakenly referred to his uncle whom had helped liberate Auschwitz concentration camp during World War II. Republicans quickly picked up on the blunder and pointed out that the Russians were the ones who liberated Auschwitz in 1945, not the Americans. Obama's people corrected the statement saying that he meant to refer to his great uncle who helped liberate a part of the Buchenwald camp, not Auschwitz. Hmm... That's not a mistake you make easily, is it? I think when you are talking about something as horrific as the murder of millions of Jews, you damn well want to get your facts straight.
Two colleges, Smith College in Northampton, Mass. and Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, N.C., have dropped standardized test scores from their admission criteria. Most schools that have made such tests optional or not required are smaller and have the resources to look closely at recommendation letters and extra curricular activities. Both colleges are hoping to draw a diverse applicant pool and question the validity of test scores as predictors of academic success. I am living proof that test scores are in no way an indication of academic success. Please see this post regarding my extended time in college.
A customs worker in Tokyo hid a package of cannabis in a passenger's suitcase to test the drug sniffing dogs in customs. Apparently the training exercise did not work and now a package of cannabis is out on the loose. "Anyone who finds the package should contact Tokyo customs as soon as possible, the spokeswoman said." Riiiight. I'm sure they'll have that turned in in no time.
News you can lose:
TODAY crowned the cutest, cuddliest puppy from online votes. Oliver James Gray, a beagle, won, but check out all of the others. So-stinking-cute! (#12 might be my fave)
Word of the Day:
maudlin: tearfully or weakly emotional; foolishly sentimental or foolishly or mawkishly sentimental because of drunkenness
Ashley is so smart over there at Kudzu Jungle that she uses words I don't know, like maudlin.
News you can use:
Senator Barack Obama, in a Memorial Day speech, mistakenly referred to his uncle whom had helped liberate Auschwitz concentration camp during World War II. Republicans quickly picked up on the blunder and pointed out that the Russians were the ones who liberated Auschwitz in 1945, not the Americans. Obama's people corrected the statement saying that he meant to refer to his great uncle who helped liberate a part of the Buchenwald camp, not Auschwitz. Hmm... That's not a mistake you make easily, is it? I think when you are talking about something as horrific as the murder of millions of Jews, you damn well want to get your facts straight.
Two colleges, Smith College in Northampton, Mass. and Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, N.C., have dropped standardized test scores from their admission criteria. Most schools that have made such tests optional or not required are smaller and have the resources to look closely at recommendation letters and extra curricular activities. Both colleges are hoping to draw a diverse applicant pool and question the validity of test scores as predictors of academic success. I am living proof that test scores are in no way an indication of academic success. Please see this post regarding my extended time in college.
A customs worker in Tokyo hid a package of cannabis in a passenger's suitcase to test the drug sniffing dogs in customs. Apparently the training exercise did not work and now a package of cannabis is out on the loose. "Anyone who finds the package should contact Tokyo customs as soon as possible, the spokeswoman said." Riiiight. I'm sure they'll have that turned in in no time.
News you can lose:
TODAY crowned the cutest, cuddliest puppy from online votes. Oliver James Gray, a beagle, won, but check out all of the others. So-stinking-cute! (#12 might be my fave)
Word of the Day:
maudlin: tearfully or weakly emotional; foolishly sentimental or foolishly or mawkishly sentimental because of drunkenness
Ashley is so smart over there at Kudzu Jungle that she uses words I don't know, like maudlin.
Ticket Stubs 1:59 AM
The Weekly Special this week has taken me way back. . and really makes me want to go see some more live performances!
In a vague attempt at chronological order (which is hard, because some cross lines as I continued to go to multiple shows):
Middle school days:
NKOTB - probably the same date and venue as Tempe, but I don't really remember. I definitely didn't have a mini skirt! But, I was sporting the side ponytail and was so bad-ass in my black high tops, NKOTB shirt tied in a knot and peach glasses. I have friends that really want to attend their reunion, but I'm not so inclined. (be on the lookout for this one on Niki's list tomorrow as well, because, I just might have gone with her and another friend - I can still clearly see the picture of the 3 of us sitting up on a rock just before the show, I had it in my bedroom for years)
High school days:
Live - outside at Legion Field, Athens - what were we all there?! how funny is that? And, were we all so young and naive. I was contemplating telling a story about seeing a guy from high school stoned out of his mind coming up to me in the crowd and it really freaked me out because I didn't know why his eyes looked like they did. He was creepy (and is normally hot!) and it totally made an impression on me. I was going to omit the story, but since the other girls mentioned the first smells of a real concert, I included it.
CountryFest '96 at Atlanta Motor Speedway - this was a wild experience, but so much fun! The line up was pretty increidble: Charlie Daniels, Hank Jr., Alan Jackson, Alabama, Pam Tillis, Patty Loveless and we had a blast rain, mud and all.
Kinchafoonee Cowboys at the Georgia Theatre and also at Music Midtown one year, I think.
Jennifer Nettles - x# times, 40 Watt, and even at the annual field party at Berry one year! I know Soul Miner's Daughter also performed at Berry one year, but I missed it. (Also, one Niki - and Greg - introduced me to! Our musical tastes actually align for a bit) Greg describes her performing as "sex on stage" and I have to agree; I love seeing her perform in those small, intimate venues. She's now part of Sugarland and I'm so excited for her success, even if it came at a twang rather than the underground vibe she had - I'm still a fan of twang, so no real problems for me there. I still love her and feel connected to her somehow.
I worked security with my Taekwondo instructor a couple summers in college when I'd come home and got in some good shows through that:
Trisha Yearwood - not sure of the venue, but it was a nice old theatre type place and I enjoyed the show, unlike some of the other folks that were working it that weren't country fans.
99X stage during Music Midtown one year (1997-1998ish?) backstage and performer tent - I can't really remember the bands that played on the stage save one: Creed. And I am not a fan, because he was an arogant prick that couldn't believe I wasn't fawning over him, much less that I didn't have a clue who he was and had to ask him to please wear his backstage pass. I have lots of stories from that experience - of working with the UGA football players also helping with secuirty and forming a line to feed out all of those daring crowd surfers that would get dumped out right at the foot of the stage and the really drunk lady who tried to sneak backstage and then slammed me against the trailer as I was escorting her out.
I know I worked the Roxy for a show at some point, but again, not sure who was playing - I really wasn't up to date on all the cool bands. I remember sitting at the lunch table and listening to some of the cool kids talk and thinking they were totally making things up: "smashing pumpkins, screaming trees, something monkeys?" those were really names of bands?!
Black Crowes -UGA coliseum; we were also slated to see them with Jimmy Paige, but the show was canceled when he hurt his back.
Indigo Girls - UGA coliseum, they were there for homecoming one year (also think this was a Niki date)
Kid Rock - Gwinnet Arena, twice. Say what you will, but he puts on a damn fun show.
Willie Nelson! 3 times: stadium at Auburn, at the Classic Center in Athens, and I'm fairly certain I worked security one other time for him at the Classic Center, because I had it in my head I'd seen him 3 times. I heart Willie.
Gov't Mule - Tabernacle (2x), Civic Center, outside at the Masquerade, and they also opened for Kid Rock at the Gwinnett Arena, which really rocked.
Little Feat - I can't remember the venue (maybe a sibling can help me out?) but my whole family went one year in the past decade for my dad's birthday. It was really awesome after growing up listening to it to be there in a small venue with my siblings that also grew up listening to it and have appreciation and with our parents who planted it in all of us.
In that same vein, I think the person I would most want to see would be Jackson Browne. I grew up listening to him and just love his music and think watching him perform in a small setting, with his piano would be really incredible. I'd want him to Stay just a little bit longer, I'm sure.
In a vague attempt at chronological order (which is hard, because some cross lines as I continued to go to multiple shows):
Middle school days:
NKOTB - probably the same date and venue as Tempe, but I don't really remember. I definitely didn't have a mini skirt! But, I was sporting the side ponytail and was so bad-ass in my black high tops, NKOTB shirt tied in a knot and peach glasses. I have friends that really want to attend their reunion, but I'm not so inclined. (be on the lookout for this one on Niki's list tomorrow as well, because, I just might have gone with her and another friend - I can still clearly see the picture of the 3 of us sitting up on a rock just before the show, I had it in my bedroom for years)
High school days:
Live - outside at Legion Field, Athens - what were we all there?! how funny is that? And, were we all so young and naive. I was contemplating telling a story about seeing a guy from high school stoned out of his mind coming up to me in the crowd and it really freaked me out because I didn't know why his eyes looked like they did. He was creepy (and is normally hot!) and it totally made an impression on me. I was going to omit the story, but since the other girls mentioned the first smells of a real concert, I included it.
CountryFest '96 at Atlanta Motor Speedway - this was a wild experience, but so much fun! The line up was pretty increidble: Charlie Daniels, Hank Jr., Alan Jackson, Alabama, Pam Tillis, Patty Loveless and we had a blast rain, mud and all.
Kinchafoonee Cowboys at the Georgia Theatre and also at Music Midtown one year, I think.
Jennifer Nettles - x# times, 40 Watt, and even at the annual field party at Berry one year! I know Soul Miner's Daughter also performed at Berry one year, but I missed it. (Also, one Niki - and Greg - introduced me to! Our musical tastes actually align for a bit) Greg describes her performing as "sex on stage" and I have to agree; I love seeing her perform in those small, intimate venues. She's now part of Sugarland and I'm so excited for her success, even if it came at a twang rather than the underground vibe she had - I'm still a fan of twang, so no real problems for me there. I still love her and feel connected to her somehow.
David Allen Coe - ?? times! The Georgia Theatre, Cowboys what more can I say, really? We always joked about glad we were getting another show in before he croaked. He's definitely a strange-looking character.
College days (and beyond):
Shawn Mullins - outside at Berry, before he had one successful blip on the radar and got too good for us and wouldn't come back.
City Stages, Birmingham's equivilent to Music Midtown - Charlie Daniels Band is really the only one I remember.I worked security with my Taekwondo instructor a couple summers in college when I'd come home and got in some good shows through that:
Trisha Yearwood - not sure of the venue, but it was a nice old theatre type place and I enjoyed the show, unlike some of the other folks that were working it that weren't country fans.
99X stage during Music Midtown one year (1997-1998ish?) backstage and performer tent - I can't really remember the bands that played on the stage save one: Creed. And I am not a fan, because he was an arogant prick that couldn't believe I wasn't fawning over him, much less that I didn't have a clue who he was and had to ask him to please wear his backstage pass. I have lots of stories from that experience - of working with the UGA football players also helping with secuirty and forming a line to feed out all of those daring crowd surfers that would get dumped out right at the foot of the stage and the really drunk lady who tried to sneak backstage and then slammed me against the trailer as I was escorting her out.
I know I worked the Roxy for a show at some point, but again, not sure who was playing - I really wasn't up to date on all the cool bands. I remember sitting at the lunch table and listening to some of the cool kids talk and thinking they were totally making things up: "smashing pumpkins, screaming trees, something monkeys?" those were really names of bands?!
Black Crowes -UGA coliseum; we were also slated to see them with Jimmy Paige, but the show was canceled when he hurt his back.
Indigo Girls - UGA coliseum, they were there for homecoming one year (also think this was a Niki date)
Kid Rock - Gwinnet Arena, twice. Say what you will, but he puts on a damn fun show.
Willie Nelson! 3 times: stadium at Auburn, at the Classic Center in Athens, and I'm fairly certain I worked security one other time for him at the Classic Center, because I had it in my head I'd seen him 3 times. I heart Willie.
Gov't Mule - Tabernacle (2x), Civic Center, outside at the Masquerade, and they also opened for Kid Rock at the Gwinnett Arena, which really rocked.
Little Feat - I can't remember the venue (maybe a sibling can help me out?) but my whole family went one year in the past decade for my dad's birthday. It was really awesome after growing up listening to it to be there in a small venue with my siblings that also grew up listening to it and have appreciation and with our parents who planted it in all of us.
In that same vein, I think the person I would most want to see would be Jackson Browne. I grew up listening to him and just love his music and think watching him perform in a small setting, with his piano would be really incredible. I'd want him to Stay just a little bit longer, I'm sure.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Comment Cards 11:31 PM
So, I have a slight dilemma I'm debating. My brother's wedding is this weekend. outside. at the lake. I'm in the wedding and I'm pretty pasty and pale, so at this point (nothing like waiting until the last minute) I am contemplating the spray/airbrush tanning. Has anyone out there done this technique before and can either recommend it or steer me away?
I went in and asked a little about it tonight and you do usually do one session for about the cost of getting my nails done and it lasts for several weeks, so it's the "solution" I'm looking for in the time frame I have (but, the place I went into that was advertising it, actually didn't have it, because their gun broke) so it sounds like a good idea. But, is it something I should risk trying for the first time before a big event? Or should I just suck it up and avoid it and whatever major catastrophe it would surely entail if I attempted it under such circumstances? please advise. Thanks.
I went in and asked a little about it tonight and you do usually do one session for about the cost of getting my nails done and it lasts for several weeks, so it's the "solution" I'm looking for in the time frame I have (but, the place I went into that was advertising it, actually didn't have it, because their gun broke) so it sounds like a good idea. But, is it something I should risk trying for the first time before a big event? Or should I just suck it up and avoid it and whatever major catastrophe it would surely entail if I attempted it under such circumstances? please advise. Thanks.
concert memories 9:38 AM
Weekly Special: What concerts have you been to in your lifetime? Complete lists, even the ones you are now embarrassed to admit! As a bonus, include venues and which are your favorites. What one person/group, alive or dead, would you most like to see in concert?
Okay, I can't remember every single concert I've ever been to - but there are three in particular that stick out in my head - so much so that I actually do remember the dates of those concerts (insert Rain Man joke here).
November 17, 1989. The Omni, Atlanta, Georgia
Yep, you guessed it - my first concert was New Kids on the Block for the Hangin' Tough Tour. I wore a black leather mini skirt and vest (with my brand new NKOTB t-shirt). I probably sported some sort of side ponytail. My bff at the time, Amanda, and I rocked out while my mother sat in her seat, reading her New Yorker. (She was not impressed by Joey, as I was, I suppose.)
December 8, 1997. The Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia.
There are a many, many others that come to mind:
Live at Legion Field at UGA, our sophomore year (this was the first time in my life I ever smelled pot smoke. I believe I asked my friends, very loudly, around those partaking in the smoking, "Oh my God, that STINKS! What is that?!?!").
Counting Crows - both at the Classic Center (my favorite venue) and at Chastain.
Lillith Fair with the girls from high school (was that 1997, ladies?).
Cowboy Mouth - twice, both at the 9:30 Club in Washington, DC. If y'all haven't seen these folks perform live, GO. They will literally keep you dancing and moving for the entire concert - and you don't have to know the songs. The lead singer (also the drummer) Fred LeBlanc is probably the most rockin' lead singer I've ever seen. He will not let you sit in your seat - you MUST dance. And you will!
Neil Diamond - against my will by my husband, at the MCI Center in DC. I was not too keen on this one. But let me tell you, it's pretty fun, aside from the 60-something women in sequined tank tops and shirts screaming and throwing their bras on stage.
I know I'm forgetting a TON of concerts, but these are the first that come to mind. As for my dream concert, I'd like to see Maroon 5. Yeah, not too exciting, but I just love their music, and Adam Levine is HOT.
Okay, I can't remember every single concert I've ever been to - but there are three in particular that stick out in my head - so much so that I actually do remember the dates of those concerts (insert Rain Man joke here).
November 17, 1989. The Omni, Atlanta, Georgia
Yep, you guessed it - my first concert was New Kids on the Block for the Hangin' Tough Tour. I wore a black leather mini skirt and vest (with my brand new NKOTB t-shirt). I probably sported some sort of side ponytail. My bff at the time, Amanda, and I rocked out while my mother sat in her seat, reading her New Yorker. (She was not impressed by Joey, as I was, I suppose.)
December 8, 1997. The Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia.
Front row tickets in front of the B Stage for the Rolling Stones for their Bridges to Babylon Tour. I was a freshman in college and brought my then-boyfriend with me as my guest. This concert is still my favorite concert memory, because hearing the Stones live changed my life. I kid you not. I knew their songs (with my parents, how could you not?), I had a few CDs I'd stolen from my mother - but I was not prepared for the amazing show that they would put on. I've seen them twice since then, and I still believe that they put on the best live show of any band out there.
October 20, 2005. The MCI Center, Washington, DC.
Chris and I were offered tickets to U2's Vertigo Tour stop in Washington. I hadn't even tried to get tickets for this concert, because of the high price - the worst seats in the house were selling for $250 each. So imagine how thrilled I was when Chris' friend got tickets through his company, and asked us to go! And, to make things even cooler, we got moved to better seats when our seats were blocked by video equipment. And when I say better seats, I mean front row seats. Literally. What an amazing show.
There are a many, many others that come to mind:
Live at Legion Field at UGA, our sophomore year (this was the first time in my life I ever smelled pot smoke. I believe I asked my friends, very loudly, around those partaking in the smoking, "Oh my God, that STINKS! What is that?!?!").
Counting Crows - both at the Classic Center (my favorite venue) and at Chastain.
Lillith Fair with the girls from high school (was that 1997, ladies?).
Cowboy Mouth - twice, both at the 9:30 Club in Washington, DC. If y'all haven't seen these folks perform live, GO. They will literally keep you dancing and moving for the entire concert - and you don't have to know the songs. The lead singer (also the drummer) Fred LeBlanc is probably the most rockin' lead singer I've ever seen. He will not let you sit in your seat - you MUST dance. And you will!
Neil Diamond - against my will by my husband, at the MCI Center in DC. I was not too keen on this one. But let me tell you, it's pretty fun, aside from the 60-something women in sequined tank tops and shirts screaming and throwing their bras on stage.
I know I'm forgetting a TON of concerts, but these are the first that come to mind. As for my dream concert, I'd like to see Maroon 5. Yeah, not too exciting, but I just love their music, and Adam Levine is HOT.
Backstage Pass 8:16 AM
Ummm. I really like music and live concerts...I tried to hit the high points, but I'm sure I'm forgetting some...
The History
* Alabama & The Oakridge Boys - Stegman Collesium (still a PROUD Alabama fan!)
* Rod Stewart Unplugged - Lakewood Amphitheater (with Joan F. and her mom made us listen to polka music on NPR on the way there...)
* Counting Crows - The Classic Center, Lakewood Amphitheater, Chastain Park, The Tabernacle, House of Blues (Myrtle Beach)
* Lilith Fairs ('97-'99) - Lakewood Amphitheater (This includes Jewel, Sheryl Crow, Indigo Girls, Chantal Kreviazuk, Meredith Brooks, Fiona Apple, Paula Cole, Emmylou Harris, Queen Latifah, Ks Choice, Kendall Payne, and others I can't remember)
* Sarah McLachlan - Gwinnett Civic Center, Lakewood Amphitheater, The Fox
* Don McLean - The Classic Center
* Tori Amos - Chastain Amphitheater
* Counting Crows/Live - Lakewood Amphitheater/Verizon Wireless Music Center
* Our Lady Peace - The Cotton Club, House of Blues (Atlanta)
* Dido - Variety Playhouse
* Jennifer Nettles Band - B.C. Field Party, Lilith Fair, Cat's Cradle, Marz
* Joan Baez - Variety Playhouse
* Jump Little Children - Many, many, many times at Georgia Theater, Variety Playhouse, Marz
* Dave Matthews Band - Walnut Creek Amphitheater, Verizon Wireless Amphitheater
* John Mayer/Counting Crows - Walnut Creek Amphitheater
* Howie Day - House of Blues (Myrtle Beach)
* Coldplay - Walnut Creek Amphitheater
* John Mayer - Phillips Arena
* The Get-offs, Nick Freitas and Dave Dondero - Hemlock Tavern (San Francisco!!!)
Favorite Show: That's like picking a favorite child! For all around sheer joy, I'd have to say one of my favorites was the first time I saw Sarah McLachlan at Lakewood Amphitheater. I had a complete and total hysterical Beatles-esque reaction.
Dream Show: I'm going to cheat and pick and living and dead choice. For the one now departed, I would have to say Elvis. I don't care where, but even more than The Beatles, I'd love to see Elvis live. I think that I would be absolutely head over heels in love with him and nearly drown in the frenzy of a live show.
Living artists, I'd have to say David Gray. He's definitely one of my favorite artists - at least in the list of CDs I'd want to have if stranded on a desert island. I'd love to see him at The Fox (I heart The Fox) or the Tabernacle, which is one of my favorite venues. Close seconds to my top acts to see are Keane, Ray LaMontagne and U2 (for posterity).
Really, though, I love concerts so much, I'm game for whatever - there's nothing like the overcrowded, beer/bong smelling, sweaty rush of seeing your fav band with a bunch of strangers. When the lights go down and the opening chords strike. Wow. That's the ticket.
The History
* Alabama & The Oakridge Boys - Stegman Collesium (still a PROUD Alabama fan!)* Rod Stewart Unplugged - Lakewood Amphitheater (with Joan F. and her mom made us listen to polka music on NPR on the way there...)
* Counting Crows - The Classic Center, Lakewood Amphitheater, Chastain Park, The Tabernacle, House of Blues (Myrtle Beach)
* Lilith Fairs ('97-'99) - Lakewood Amphitheater (This includes Jewel, Sheryl Crow, Indigo Girls, Chantal Kreviazuk, Meredith Brooks, Fiona Apple, Paula Cole, Emmylou Harris, Queen Latifah, Ks Choice, Kendall Payne, and others I can't remember)
* Sarah McLachlan - Gwinnett Civic Center, Lakewood Amphitheater, The Fox
* Don McLean - The Classic Center
* Tori Amos - Chastain Amphitheater
* Counting Crows/Live - Lakewood Amphitheater/Verizon Wireless Music Center
* Our Lady Peace - The Cotton Club, House of Blues (Atlanta)
* Dido - Variety Playhouse
* Jennifer Nettles Band - B.C. Field Party, Lilith Fair, Cat's Cradle, Marz
* Joan Baez - Variety Playhouse
* Jump Little Children - Many, many, many times at Georgia Theater, Variety Playhouse, Marz
* Dave Matthews Band - Walnut Creek Amphitheater, Verizon Wireless Amphitheater
* John Mayer/Counting Crows - Walnut Creek Amphitheater
* Howie Day - House of Blues (Myrtle Beach)
* Coldplay - Walnut Creek Amphitheater
* John Mayer - Phillips Arena
* The Get-offs, Nick Freitas and Dave Dondero - Hemlock Tavern (San Francisco!!!)
Favorite Show: That's like picking a favorite child! For all around sheer joy, I'd have to say one of my favorites was the first time I saw Sarah McLachlan at Lakewood Amphitheater. I had a complete and total hysterical Beatles-esque reaction.
Dream Show: I'm going to cheat and pick and living and dead choice. For the one now departed, I would have to say Elvis. I don't care where, but even more than The Beatles, I'd love to see Elvis live. I think that I would be absolutely head over heels in love with him and nearly drown in the frenzy of a live show.
Living artists, I'd have to say David Gray. He's definitely one of my favorite artists - at least in the list of CDs I'd want to have if stranded on a desert island. I'd love to see him at The Fox (I heart The Fox) or the Tabernacle, which is one of my favorite venues. Close seconds to my top acts to see are Keane, Ray LaMontagne and U2 (for posterity).
Really, though, I love concerts so much, I'm game for whatever - there's nothing like the overcrowded, beer/bong smelling, sweaty rush of seeing your fav band with a bunch of strangers. When the lights go down and the opening chords strike. Wow. That's the ticket.
While You Were at the Bar 5/27 6:00 AM
This is how we do it at the bar.
News you can use:
Tornadoes ripped through northern Iowa and western Minnesota on Sunday evening killing seven people. Most of the town of Parkersburg, Iowa was destroyed in the storm. Certainly more lives would have been lost if not for the tornado sirens sounding well in advance of the storm.
NASA's spacecraft, Phoenix, has safely landed on Mars and sent back a picture of the surface. Teams will inspect the craft and its systems for the next week and then begin digging up the soil of Mars. Scientists are very excited by the possibility that this intact vessel brings.
Actor, director and producer Sydney Pollack has died, at the age of 73. Pollack was diagnosed with cancer nine months ago and died at his Pacific Palisades, California home yesterday.
News you can lose:
This is just wrong, and if I was a leopard, I'd be pissed. (Why hide a great bod under that?)
Word of the Day:
juke joint: a small inexpensive establishment for eating, drinking, or dancing to the music of a juke box
Smartini is the web's hoppin' little juke joint.
News you can use:
Tornadoes ripped through northern Iowa and western Minnesota on Sunday evening killing seven people. Most of the town of Parkersburg, Iowa was destroyed in the storm. Certainly more lives would have been lost if not for the tornado sirens sounding well in advance of the storm.
NASA's spacecraft, Phoenix, has safely landed on Mars and sent back a picture of the surface. Teams will inspect the craft and its systems for the next week and then begin digging up the soil of Mars. Scientists are very excited by the possibility that this intact vessel brings.
Actor, director and producer Sydney Pollack has died, at the age of 73. Pollack was diagnosed with cancer nine months ago and died at his Pacific Palisades, California home yesterday.
News you can lose:
This is just wrong, and if I was a leopard, I'd be pissed. (Why hide a great bod under that?)
Word of the Day:
juke joint: a small inexpensive establishment for eating, drinking, or dancing to the music of a juke box
Smartini is the web's hoppin' little juke joint.
Monday, May 26, 2008
I raised my beer and sang along with: 7:12 AM
Weekly Special: What concerts have you been to in your lifetime? Complete lists, even the ones you are now embarrassed to admit! As a bonus, include venues and which are your favorites. What one person/group, alive or dead, would you most like to see in concert?
Trying to reach back into the fog of my memory for all of the concerts I have ever been to is tough business indeed. High school was a mere 11 years ago but damn if I can't recall the specifics about some of the events that I paid money to go to. The kicker to all this remembering and re-remembering and google-ing lineups, etc. is that the names I would rather forget pop right up. Of course they do.
High school brought me my first ever concert: Live. It was at a small, outdoor venue and I was pumped. So pumped that I decided to crowd surf. After I recovered from the concussion that comes after getting dropped during said crowd surfing, I decided that that was one of those things you do just to say that you did, and then never do again.
Also on the high school list is John Berry, who told the crowd that his underwear was riding up, Harry Connick, Jr., who I got to oogle while my sister got his autograph afterwards, from like two feet away... nice!, David Allan Coe, Blind Melon, at a big music festival where I saw my first mosh pit but unlike crowd surfing decided to sit that one out, Kinchafoonee Cowboys, about a zillion times: see College.
My college days lasted a wee bit longer than your standard 4 year student so that's where most of my ticket purchasing lies. Three George Straight Country Music Festivals in three states which included: Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, Dixie Chicks, Kenny Chesney, John Michael Montgomery, Asleep at the Wheel, Sara Evans, Brad Paisley, Alan Jackson and of course, three very large helpings of George Strait. Possibly this is where my appreciation for George Baby was nurtured... I also carried myself to a fourth state to see George a few years later (but still in the college time frame - I told you it was a while). Tied with good Mr. Strait as concerts attended in four different states is Chris LeDoux, all while in college as well. (Please be advised that I have attended college in two states.)
More college acts include: Kinchafoonee Cowboys, Arlo Guthrie, Hank Williams, Jr., Terri Clark, Allman Brothers Band and Mark Chestnutt. Three years of another country music festival had me singing along with Toby Keith, Hank Jr. again, Kenny Chesney again (and I started crying when he sang 'Back Where I Come From'), Dustin Evans, Charlie Daniels, Sara Evans and Martina McBride.
And what about post college, a span of five years? Umm... yeah, about that... Maybe not so much in the past little bit.
But on the agenda of 'to do before I'm way old' is singing too loud and dancing too wild and drinking too much at a Jimmy Buffett concert. A girl could just go bananas at a place like that, and that's what I plan to do. Preferably the venue would be somewhere hot and the drinks would be ice cold. J.B. just makes every thing so chill and 'island' and I could just float away to the sound of the steel drums. (One thing that I would not be chill with is the predominant activity at a Buffett concert. Much like the mosh pit, I will pass.)
I can hear it now: "Please remain standing for the singing of the national anthem of Margaritaville!"
Trying to reach back into the fog of my memory for all of the concerts I have ever been to is tough business indeed. High school was a mere 11 years ago but damn if I can't recall the specifics about some of the events that I paid money to go to. The kicker to all this remembering and re-remembering and google-ing lineups, etc. is that the names I would rather forget pop right up. Of course they do.
High school brought me my first ever concert: Live. It was at a small, outdoor venue and I was pumped. So pumped that I decided to crowd surf. After I recovered from the concussion that comes after getting dropped during said crowd surfing, I decided that that was one of those things you do just to say that you did, and then never do again.
Also on the high school list is John Berry, who told the crowd that his underwear was riding up, Harry Connick, Jr., who I got to oogle while my sister got his autograph afterwards, from like two feet away... nice!, David Allan Coe, Blind Melon, at a big music festival where I saw my first mosh pit but unlike crowd surfing decided to sit that one out, Kinchafoonee Cowboys, about a zillion times: see College.
My college days lasted a wee bit longer than your standard 4 year student so that's where most of my ticket purchasing lies. Three George Straight Country Music Festivals in three states which included: Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, Dixie Chicks, Kenny Chesney, John Michael Montgomery, Asleep at the Wheel, Sara Evans, Brad Paisley, Alan Jackson and of course, three very large helpings of George Strait. Possibly this is where my appreciation for George Baby was nurtured... I also carried myself to a fourth state to see George a few years later (but still in the college time frame - I told you it was a while). Tied with good Mr. Strait as concerts attended in four different states is Chris LeDoux, all while in college as well. (Please be advised that I have attended college in two states.)
More college acts include: Kinchafoonee Cowboys, Arlo Guthrie, Hank Williams, Jr., Terri Clark, Allman Brothers Band and Mark Chestnutt. Three years of another country music festival had me singing along with Toby Keith, Hank Jr. again, Kenny Chesney again (and I started crying when he sang 'Back Where I Come From'), Dustin Evans, Charlie Daniels, Sara Evans and Martina McBride.
And what about post college, a span of five years? Umm... yeah, about that... Maybe not so much in the past little bit.
But on the agenda of 'to do before I'm way old' is singing too loud and dancing too wild and drinking too much at a Jimmy Buffett concert. A girl could just go bananas at a place like that, and that's what I plan to do. Preferably the venue would be somewhere hot and the drinks would be ice cold. J.B. just makes every thing so chill and 'island' and I could just float away to the sound of the steel drums. (One thing that I would not be chill with is the predominant activity at a Buffett concert. Much like the mosh pit, I will pass.)
I can hear it now: "Please remain standing for the singing of the national anthem of Margaritaville!"
While You Were at the Bar 5/26 6:00 AM
Welcome to the bar! Those with military IDs drink for free.
News you can use:
Scott Dixon won the 92nd running of the Indy 500. In the winner's circle Dixon gulped down milk, the traditional celebratory drink since 1936. I'm all for traditions and such, but milk when you are hot as hell? No thank you. But, if I did just win the Indy 500, I think I could drink hot chocolate and not care!
Things just keep getting worse in China. An aftershock rocked central China on Sunday, measuring a 6.0 magnitude. Close to 71,000 homes that had withstood the original quake were destroyed and officials estimate another 200,000 were in danger of collapse.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have made a tiny purchase in the south of France, to the tune of 60 million. The couple has purchased a 1,000 acre estate complete with a vineyard, lake, moat and 35 bedroom maison. Just how many kids are they planning on having?
News you can use:
Scott Dixon won the 92nd running of the Indy 500. In the winner's circle Dixon gulped down milk, the traditional celebratory drink since 1936. I'm all for traditions and such, but milk when you are hot as hell? No thank you. But, if I did just win the Indy 500, I think I could drink hot chocolate and not care!
Things just keep getting worse in China. An aftershock rocked central China on Sunday, measuring a 6.0 magnitude. Close to 71,000 homes that had withstood the original quake were destroyed and officials estimate another 200,000 were in danger of collapse.
News you can lose:
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have made a tiny purchase in the south of France, to the tune of 60 million. The couple has purchased a 1,000 acre estate complete with a vineyard, lake, moat and 35 bedroom maison. Just how many kids are they planning on having?
Word of the Day:
obeisance: A gesture or movement of the body, such as a curtsy, that expresses deference or homage or an attitude of deference or homage
Sunday, May 25, 2008
On the Jukebox 4:56 AM
What's that sound you hear? Why it's the jukebox, of course!
The Smartini girls have loaded it full of our favorite tunes, all the way from the embarrassing 80's to today. This week as we crank up the volume you will get a glimpse at the diversity of our individual and collective musical tastes. No matter what mood you are in while visiting us, whether you feel like crying in your beer or celebrating, the varied assortment on the jukebox will suit your needs.
Each day this week the bartenders will be answering the following question:
What concerts have you been to in your lifetime? Complete lists, even the ones you are now embarrassed to admit! As a bonus, include venues and which are your favorites. What one person/group, alive or dead, would you most like to see in concert?
The Smartini girls have loaded it full of our favorite tunes, all the way from the embarrassing 80's to today. This week as we crank up the volume you will get a glimpse at the diversity of our individual and collective musical tastes. No matter what mood you are in while visiting us, whether you feel like crying in your beer or celebrating, the varied assortment on the jukebox will suit your needs.
Each day this week the bartenders will be answering the following question:
What concerts have you been to in your lifetime? Complete lists, even the ones you are now embarrassed to admit! As a bonus, include venues and which are your favorites. What one person/group, alive or dead, would you most like to see in concert?
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Karaoke 11:34 AM
The other day as I was driving along, the local radio station that does a retro lunch hour had me kicking the volume up, up, up, singing like a fool and beating on the floor gear shift. I didn't care that I had the windows down and everybody under the sun could hear me... I was into it. After the song faded away and I composed myself, I realized that there are a handful of songs that make me act like a fool every single time I hear them.
Megan's Sing Loud Because You Just Don't Care Car Karaoke:
(Hit play and rock out with your bad self, like me!)
Blind Melon 'No Rain'
Culture Club 'Karma Chameleon'
Alabama 'Dixieland Delight'
Lil' Jon & Eastside Boyz 'Get Low' (clean version)
Def Leopard 'Pour Some Sugar on Me'
(I don't know half of the words to some of these, and don't like some of the ones that I do know, but does that stop me? Oooh no.)
Megan's Sing Loud Because You Just Don't Care Car Karaoke:
(Hit play and rock out with your bad self, like me!)
Blind Melon 'No Rain'
Culture Club 'Karma Chameleon'
Alabama 'Dixieland Delight'
Lil' Jon & Eastside Boyz 'Get Low' (clean version)
Def Leopard 'Pour Some Sugar on Me'
(I don't know half of the words to some of these, and don't like some of the ones that I do know, but does that stop me? Oooh no.)
Friday, May 23, 2008
A Little Hooch 9:01 AM
So the other day I put the wrong shorts on N.Lo not once, but twice in a row. They were K.Lo's shorts, and the mix-up was not entirely the fault of the slack-ass Laundry Fairy. K.Lo's size 3T little-girl shorts are in fact smaller and shorter than N.Lo's 12 mos-sized little-boy shorts. No lie, K.Lo's fit him better. My only conclusion on this matter is that man oh man, we're starting these girls young with the hoochie shorts! Or is it just me.
If I had a bazillion dollars, I'd be rich. 7:00 AM
When I was a little kid, I wanted to be an artist when I grew up. I have the picture to prove it. Here's my age 5 thumbprint, stamped at one of those church bazaar booths where the artist made it into a little mouse of my own choosing. An artist. And I guess in a way, I kind of am, what with that m.f.A. degree and all. Do I use the degree? Sure. I write every day, you see it here, and here, and here. No, I didn't put myself thousands (and thousands) of dollars in debt so I could BLOG, for heaven's sake, a completely free and unpaid endeavor. But no one can say I'm not writing.Here's what I'm also doing: I'm a stay-at-home mom. Also unpaid. Did I dream of being a mom when I grew up? I can't say that I did. I didn't rule it out as a possibility, but every time I imagined getting the things out of me, I paused. Not to mention what I would do with them once they got here. It all seemed rather impossible, but here I am, with two. And I wouldn't trade that part of my life, that job of being a stay-at-home mom, regardless.
If I could choose any job, money being no object, I would be a full-time philanthroper. So actually, money would be key, because I would need giant heaps and piles of it to do what I want to do. Say I were given a ton of it, like tomorrow. I won the lottery or something, the bazillion-dollar jackpot. I'd pay off all our debts, pay off the debts of a few close friends, maybe buy a bigger, but still modest house in the mountains of NC, and there we would live, where I would work fielding requests for fundage. People would write me letters, fill me in on their situation, and I'd decide who to send it to. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.
I wouldn't want to be famous for it. In fact, if I were famous for it, that would probably make my job a whole lot more complicated. With this job, I'd have to have my Personal Spam Filters set to the max. And I can be a bit... not necessarily naive, but overly forgiving at times. I might have to work on that. Probably hire a damn good accountant as well. But all of these issues are neither here nor there, because the answer to this question lies in Pipe Dream Land, and in Pipe Dream Land, no scheming, conniving con-artists are going to try and take advantage of my giving nature and sully my view toward humanity. Just, if someone needs a hand, I'll be there to lend it.
I got this idea, I swear, from an episode of The Rosie O'Donnell show that aired sometime while I was in college, I couldn't tell you exactly when. She had a guest on there, an older gentleman whose name I couldn't tell you, either, and he had a lot of money and this is what he did with his time. People wrote him letters, and he read through them and decided if and in what way he could help them out. Like say a woman needed bus fare to get to her job everyday, and really couldn't afford it, it was cutting into her pay where she really wished it didn't, because she had children to support. This guy, let's call him Philanthroper Man, read her letter, listened to her story, and then sent her a letter back with a check to cover exactly one year's worth of bus fares. No more, no less. And maybe it wouldn't completely change her life, like he wasn't awarding her with an Extreme Home Makeover, a trip to Disney World, and Ty Pennington on her dilapidated doorstep. But she could get to work for a good stretch of time and not worry about it. Maybe she could even get a leg up by the end of that year, money-wise, and not have to worry about bus fare for the year after that. And in that little way, by addressing an everyday, concrete need, Philanthroper Man made a difference, helped someone out.
I tried googling the once-upon-a-time, nameless philanthropic guest of Rosie, but I couldn't find him. To the point where for a moment I thought I might have been making it all up. But then it occurred to me that (if he does exist), then he should be un-google-able. I would want to be un-google-able, too, if it were me, living out this daydream. I don't know how people would find me, but I think they would, if they needed to. They'd hear about my project through the grapevine, mail their story to my PO Box somewhere in the mountains of NC, and let me know what I could do to make their life a little easier and help them out.
While You Were at the Bar 5/23 6:00 AM
It's WTFriday, so we are going to celebrate by indulging in lots of news you can lose and only a wee little news you can use. So sue me. Oh, and if you're new here, check out our back story.
News you can lose:
Chevy's 2010 Camaro has been photographed while on the test track in Germany. It doesn't look much like the Camaro of old, which may be good or bad depending on your preference. I don't really care, old or new, as long as a mullet and cigarette hanging from your mouth are not required to own one.
Noooo! Look at all these shows that have been cancelled! Son of a... where will I get my Josh Duhamel fix? Hmm? Cavemen, however, I can see getting axed. But Vegas? No way!
Stars with laughable hair blunders? Yes, thank you. Flip through until you get to MKO. Tell me doesn't look like the Grinch in the pic on the right. That's what I thought.
News you can use:
An appeals court judge in Texas ruled against state authorities in the seizure of 468 children from the polygamist compound. The court stated that the state did not establish proper grounds to remove the children from their families. This ruling revoked the state's custody over a large group of the children.
Word of the day:
(Also on hiatus for WTFriday is the standard WOD. Here we have a prior WOD from Urban Dictionary.
"Shituation : a bad situation, 2.: a dramatic, usually negative happening resulting in utter shit in one's life.
Having GW in office sure is a shituation for da nation. "
News you can lose:
Chevy's 2010 Camaro has been photographed while on the test track in Germany. It doesn't look much like the Camaro of old, which may be good or bad depending on your preference. I don't really care, old or new, as long as a mullet and cigarette hanging from your mouth are not required to own one.
Noooo! Look at all these shows that have been cancelled! Son of a... where will I get my Josh Duhamel fix? Hmm? Cavemen, however, I can see getting axed. But Vegas? No way!
Stars with laughable hair blunders? Yes, thank you. Flip through until you get to MKO. Tell me doesn't look like the Grinch in the pic on the right. That's what I thought.
News you can use:
An appeals court judge in Texas ruled against state authorities in the seizure of 468 children from the polygamist compound. The court stated that the state did not establish proper grounds to remove the children from their families. This ruling revoked the state's custody over a large group of the children.
Word of the day:
(Also on hiatus for WTFriday is the standard WOD. Here we have a prior WOD from Urban Dictionary.
"Shituation : a bad situation, 2.: a dramatic, usually negative happening resulting in utter shit in one's life.
Having GW in office sure is a shituation for da nation. "
New 'do' for going out on Friday night 3:11 AM
This story is actually an older article I found when first checking out Tempe's suggestion of consulting drudgereport.com , but I still find it so WTFriday worthy, I had to post.
Is it just me, or is this a tad case of over-reacting? Perhaps I can understand the concern, but is this even enforceable? And it seems cruel to force high school kids (where image and popularity are so critical and impacting) to do something so extreme!
Is it just me, or is this a tad case of over-reacting? Perhaps I can understand the concern, but is this even enforceable? And it seems cruel to force high school kids (where image and popularity are so critical and impacting) to do something so extreme!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Hard times call for Hard Liquor (but maybe not premium Top Shelf) 2:50 PM
Yet another job-related article/list I read. This one was rather depressing to me reflecting our struggling economy (and the vicious cycle of layoffs and job loss and hard times, resulting in penny pinching and then companies struggling because of the decreased spending and making cuts which further perpetuates the problem), but just a warning about choosing one of these companies for your dream job. . .
I'm a model, ya know what I mean...and I do my little turn on the catwalk... 10:10 AM
If you had a limitless supply of income, resources, and time, and current obligations and/or obstacles were not a factor - what would be your dream job? In other words, in a perfect world, what would you want to do with your day, and why?
"You are eight feet tall. Your boobs are perfect. Your hair is down to there. If I was you I would just walk around naked all the time. I wouldn't have a job, I wouldn't have any skills, I wouldn't even know how to read. I would just be...naked." - Cristina Yang to Izzie Stevens, Grey's Anatomy, Season One
My secret job dream: Supermodel.
You can stop laughing now. Really.
I know, I know - I am just over 5 feet, 5 inches tall. I weigh about 40 pounds more than I should if I'm to be a model. And, let's not forget: I am a total and complete klutz.
So, yeah, realistically - this is a BAD idea. But I can't help it. The photo shoots, the glamour, the red carpet. Tom effing Brady as arm candy.
I know that models always say, "oh, it's not as glamourous as it looks; it's cut-throat, it's demeaning, blah blah blah." Look, you tiny little twig of a person, you get paid gobs of money to walk around in haute couture. All day. You get your pick of samples of Gucci, Louboutin, Dior, Chanel, and Valentino. You get to hang out at Fashion Week in New York and Paris and have your pick of whatever hot-right-now dress you want.
[Disclaimer: I know that there's a message these models are sending - that too-thin is a good thing. That 4 is the new 6, that 2 is the new 4. And yes, I know that not only do I not fall into these sizing categories - but also, it's a bad message to send to our young girls. But this is FANTASY. Thus ends the disclaimer.]
Of course, if I looked like Heidi Klum or Gisele, I would use my devastatingly good looks for good, not evil. I'd start a charity to help high-risk youth in inner cities, I'd start a no-kill animal shelter and work to get our pet population under control. I'd travel to Africa to build schools and hospitals. I'd be the Earth Mother of all hot models.
Of course, in reality, I'd look a little more like Carrie at :36 -
"Oh my God, she's fashion roadkill!"
"You are eight feet tall. Your boobs are perfect. Your hair is down to there. If I was you I would just walk around naked all the time. I wouldn't have a job, I wouldn't have any skills, I wouldn't even know how to read. I would just be...naked." - Cristina Yang to Izzie Stevens, Grey's Anatomy, Season One
My secret job dream: Supermodel.
You can stop laughing now. Really.
I know, I know - I am just over 5 feet, 5 inches tall. I weigh about 40 pounds more than I should if I'm to be a model. And, let's not forget: I am a total and complete klutz.
So, yeah, realistically - this is a BAD idea. But I can't help it. The photo shoots, the glamour, the red carpet. Tom effing Brady as arm candy.
I know that models always say, "oh, it's not as glamourous as it looks; it's cut-throat, it's demeaning, blah blah blah." Look, you tiny little twig of a person, you get paid gobs of money to walk around in haute couture. All day. You get your pick of samples of Gucci, Louboutin, Dior, Chanel, and Valentino. You get to hang out at Fashion Week in New York and Paris and have your pick of whatever hot-right-now dress you want.
[Disclaimer: I know that there's a message these models are sending - that too-thin is a good thing. That 4 is the new 6, that 2 is the new 4. And yes, I know that not only do I not fall into these sizing categories - but also, it's a bad message to send to our young girls. But this is FANTASY. Thus ends the disclaimer.]
Of course, if I looked like Heidi Klum or Gisele, I would use my devastatingly good looks for good, not evil. I'd start a charity to help high-risk youth in inner cities, I'd start a no-kill animal shelter and work to get our pet population under control. I'd travel to Africa to build schools and hospitals. I'd be the Earth Mother of all hot models.
Of course, in reality, I'd look a little more like Carrie at :36 -
"Oh my God, she's fashion roadkill!"
Peace Corps Films, Inc. 9:02 AM
If you had a limitless supply of income, resources, and time, and current obligations and/or obstacles were not a factor - what would be your dream job? In other words, in a perfect world, what would you want to do with your day, and why?
I started this post a few hours ago, saved a draft, and was ready to go live tomorrow morning. This is the beginning of what I wrote:
Travel blogger. I think I made it up, but it's my perfect world, so I'm allowed. Basically, I would get paid to blog about travel adventures. Think celebrity bloggers, except I'm going somewhere new and different all the time, writing about my exploits and posting pictures of exotic, far-off lands. I'd travel on the beaten path, off the beaten path, and beat down people in my path. People would follow me in manner of Perez Hilton or Trent Venegas (PITNB).
But really. . .that's not quite right. That's not the essence of what I want my job to be. I just finished watching one of the most moving, upsetting, hopeful films that I've ever seen: Born Into Brothels. It's a documentary that chronicles the lives of children growing up in the red light district of Calcutta, India. The director is a photographer that taught these kids how to take pictures, and then used those pictures to earn money to send the kids to school. The movie reminded me that any job I do, I want to be helping others, contributing to the greater good.
So, I revise my original answer - I would be a documentary film maker. In truth, I've toyed with this idea several times. I even have an idea for a film that's been brewing for about 7 years now. Really, this job is not all that dissimilar to "travel blogger." I can travel to far-off lands. I can record my "adventures." But it's not just fun and games like my proposed travel blog; a documentary can reveal an important issue in a medium accessible to millions. . .and hopefully inspire some of them to improve the world around them. (For example, Born Into Brothels spawned an organization called Kids with Cameras, and also inspired a friend of mine to create a photography class at a local Boys & Girls Club. It's not "saving the world," but it's something.)
This is my favorite picture, taken by Suchitra - a girl whose aunt forced her to remain in the brothel rather than attend school.
Lest you think this post is all do-gooding and charity, don't forget that I'm totally going to blow people out of the water and garner lots of critical acclaim. This translates into glamming it up on the red carpet and canoodling with all kinds of handsome Hollywood types (see e.g. last week's special).
While You Were at the Bar 5/22 6:00 AM
Bienvenidos! ¿Primero tiempo aquí?
News you can use:
American Airlines announces new fees effective with tickets purchases on or after June 15th. The fees include a $15 charge for a checked bag and increased rates for reservation services and pets traveling in the cabin. Exempt from the checked bag fee are members of American's frequent flyer programs, customers who buy full fare tickets, and those who are flying international, beyond Canada, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Hey, American, do you see my hand gesture? This is beer nuts, for sure. Charging for reservation services? And a checked bag? These are the foundation of air travel! Pretty soon we'll have to fly the damn planes ourselves to avoid a fee.
Senator John McCain will play host to three purported vice presidential running mates at his home in Arizona this weekend. Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney were invited, along with their spouses and twenty others, to the McCain compound in Sedona, AZ for the weekend. "It's purely social," a senior advisor to McCain stated. Can you imagine the ass kissing, back stabbing and overall posturing that will be going on? I wish I had a nickel for every time one of the wives at this deal thinks another one is being a B. I'd be loaded!
A new American Idol was crowned last night. In an effort to not spoil it for those who have yet to watch it on TiVo I will refrain from writing which David won.
News you can lose:
Denise Richards went on the Today show and refuted claims that she sent an email to ex-husband Charlie Sheen requesting his sperm for her third baby. Sheen claims that Richards sent an email asking him to be the donor, a claim that Richards flat out denies. She says the email was totally fabricated and that she doesn't want any of Charlie's boys. I says who cares?
Word of the Day:
cupidity: eager or excessive desire, especially for wealth
Have you heard? Cupid is full of cupidity, what with all his desire and money.
News you can use:
American Airlines announces new fees effective with tickets purchases on or after June 15th. The fees include a $15 charge for a checked bag and increased rates for reservation services and pets traveling in the cabin. Exempt from the checked bag fee are members of American's frequent flyer programs, customers who buy full fare tickets, and those who are flying international, beyond Canada, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Hey, American, do you see my hand gesture? This is beer nuts, for sure. Charging for reservation services? And a checked bag? These are the foundation of air travel! Pretty soon we'll have to fly the damn planes ourselves to avoid a fee.
Senator John McCain will play host to three purported vice presidential running mates at his home in Arizona this weekend. Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney were invited, along with their spouses and twenty others, to the McCain compound in Sedona, AZ for the weekend. "It's purely social," a senior advisor to McCain stated. Can you imagine the ass kissing, back stabbing and overall posturing that will be going on? I wish I had a nickel for every time one of the wives at this deal thinks another one is being a B. I'd be loaded!
A new American Idol was crowned last night. In an effort to not spoil it for those who have yet to watch it on TiVo I will refrain from writing which David won.
News you can lose:
Denise Richards went on the Today show and refuted claims that she sent an email to ex-husband Charlie Sheen requesting his sperm for her third baby. Sheen claims that Richards sent an email asking him to be the donor, a claim that Richards flat out denies. She says the email was totally fabricated and that she doesn't want any of Charlie's boys. I says who cares?
Word of the Day:
cupidity: eager or excessive desire, especially for wealth
Have you heard? Cupid is full of cupidity, what with all his desire and money.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
A to Z 1:47 PM
Perhaps I should have consulted this list before answering my Weekly Special. Maybe it will inspire the three ladies that have yet to post this week.
PSA: Bar Food 10:22 AM
Just in case you are tempted to make, and promptly inhale, three batches of Caramel Bars back to back, be forewarned that your thighs will end up looking rather healthy. This will also be the case with the Chocolate in Oatmeal Bars.
If only my thighs were this cute.
If only my thighs were this cute.While You Were at the Bar 5/21 6:00 AM
We host all kinds of major rock stars here at Smartini.
News you can use:
Doctors announced today that Ted Kennedy has a malignant brain tumor that lead to seizures this weekend. The tumor is called a malignant glioma and is in the left parietal lobe, according to doctors at Massachusetts General Hospital. Depending on the type of tumor, patients are given anywhere from one year for extremely aggressive types to five years for slower growing tumors.
Good news from China as rescues are made eight days after the earthquake that caused massive damage. Ten workers from a telecommunications company were rescued from a remote mountain cliff on Tuesday, saying that there were more who were alive in the remote areas. The workers survived on rain water and some rice that they had with them.
Netflix introduced the Netflix Player this week, a box that hooks up to your TV and internet connection to play movies in your living room. The Player uses your internet connection to sync with your online Netflix account and watch movies instantly, no DVDs to mess with. The box costs users a one time $99 fee along with their monthly Netflix charge.
News you can lose:
A very pregnant Jessica Alba married her long time boyfriend, Cash Warren, on Monday. The two met in 2004 while working on "Fantastic Four".
Word of the Day:
News you can use:
Doctors announced today that Ted Kennedy has a malignant brain tumor that lead to seizures this weekend. The tumor is called a malignant glioma and is in the left parietal lobe, according to doctors at Massachusetts General Hospital. Depending on the type of tumor, patients are given anywhere from one year for extremely aggressive types to five years for slower growing tumors.
Good news from China as rescues are made eight days after the earthquake that caused massive damage. Ten workers from a telecommunications company were rescued from a remote mountain cliff on Tuesday, saying that there were more who were alive in the remote areas. The workers survived on rain water and some rice that they had with them.
Netflix introduced the Netflix Player this week, a box that hooks up to your TV and internet connection to play movies in your living room. The Player uses your internet connection to sync with your online Netflix account and watch movies instantly, no DVDs to mess with. The box costs users a one time $99 fee along with their monthly Netflix charge.
News you can lose:
A very pregnant Jessica Alba married her long time boyfriend, Cash Warren, on Monday. The two met in 2004 while working on "Fantastic Four".
Word of the Day:
Yen: A strong desire or inclination; a longing
I've got a yen for some of those chocolate oatmeal bars, and Chuck Wicks, in that order.
More mixed drinks 12:31 AM
What would you be if you could be anything (and didn't have to worry about constraints like money, time, skills, etc.); what did you want to be growing up?
I've struggled with this Week's Special for some reason. I can't remember a strong desire to do something from my childhood; how sad is that? I feel like I lack passion and conviction, but honestly, I'm fairly happy doing what I do. I kind of stumbled into my job and it really suits me. I clearly remember floundering a lot trying to make a decision in college (how do you figure out what you want to do everyday for the rest of your life?) but, somehow it lead me here and I like my job - both of them. I wouldn't want to have to do either one more than I do. I think I have a good balance of getting out of the house, maintaining my sanity and feeling like I contribute (sure it's not glamorous, but I genuinely like what we do and how we do it) and having enough time to devote to my kids (sure, there's always the desire for more time and the guilt that I don't do enough by them, but overall, I feel balanced.) I just filled out a questionnaire for something and one of the questions on it was "what did you want to be when you grew up?" just like this week's special and I realized what I've always wanted was simple: to be a wife, a mom and happy. So, I've fulfilled that criteria and am pretty settled. I'm not good with change and vicious, cut-throat competition or corporate life. I like comfort and stability. I'm fortunate enough that my job is not so demanding or constricting that I get miserable. But, I am also glad not to stay home all day with the kids - I really like what the day care offers my kids (routine, schedules, learning, socialization) and I like what I get from my work (adult interaction, brain function utilization, but with the flexibility of still having a life and supporting a family.) [not to say SAHM don't use their brains daily!!]
Pretty lame, right? But, it's really not that I have this Utopian life; I'm just comfortable and don't have the motivation to put forth the effort to choose a different path - even in my fantasy world!
But, here's a taste of some of the things I had been thinking, but just didn't seem to measure up or really ignite any fire inside (I seemed to have a voice inside me that piped up with negatives for everything!) before I came to the realization that I was struggling because I was trying to come up with something different than what I have already:
I thought I'd want to possibly sing or do something musical - that's always been a skill I admired in others and desired for myself. But, after reading Ashley's awesome post and experiencing her raw emotions and deep-seated passion, I feel my wimpy, "yeah, I wish I could do 'something musical'" definitely pales in comparison and seems feeble and unworthy. Plus, I don't really want all the fame and traveling and touring that comes with it. Ashley has been in theatre and knows the rush of being on stage, but I shy away from the spotlight, big time! I've been signing my name over 700 times the past few days on a mass mailing we are sending out, so I'm quite content not to have to sign autographs on a regular basis!
It would be great to be a writer. If I could write, that is. But, the pressures of having to write and meet deadlines and constantly be critiqued would not be so great.
I always contemplated going into the medical field as well. A lot of work, a lot of hours, a lot of blood and yuckiness.
Many people have thought I'd end up teaching, and I've considered it. I've even thought about how, if I lost my job somehow, I'd probably apply at the day care right away. I think I'd enjoy it and be good at it and really take an interest in the kids, but again, I'd want to selfishly be spending that time with my own kids! And not use up my precious store of patience on someone else's child!
It'd be great to be an artist - maybe even a kid's artist and have my stuff sell in like Pottery Barn where I'd definitely be turning a profit, but someone more obscure and unique as well! There's more anonymity in that profession that the rock star route.
I love pictures and photography would definitely be something I'd love to know more about and be more skilled at and could see myself wanting to make something out of that interest.
There was a time, during and right out of college before I went into the "real world" and had to have a "real job" for the rest of my life, I really wanted to be a waitress or bartender (not that these aren't "real jobs" they just weren't what I was going to school to do, so they weren't in my chosen path), just to have had the experience of dealing with people like that and it felt like a rite of passage or something that so many people have gone through that I hadn't.
Once again, perhaps I should just desire to grow up and be able to make a damn decision. Enjoy your mixed drinks, with a splash of this thought and a dash of that run-on sentence, served up weekly by your friendly, but ever indecisive bartender.
I've struggled with this Week's Special for some reason. I can't remember a strong desire to do something from my childhood; how sad is that? I feel like I lack passion and conviction, but honestly, I'm fairly happy doing what I do. I kind of stumbled into my job and it really suits me. I clearly remember floundering a lot trying to make a decision in college (how do you figure out what you want to do everyday for the rest of your life?) but, somehow it lead me here and I like my job - both of them. I wouldn't want to have to do either one more than I do. I think I have a good balance of getting out of the house, maintaining my sanity and feeling like I contribute (sure it's not glamorous, but I genuinely like what we do and how we do it) and having enough time to devote to my kids (sure, there's always the desire for more time and the guilt that I don't do enough by them, but overall, I feel balanced.) I just filled out a questionnaire for something and one of the questions on it was "what did you want to be when you grew up?" just like this week's special and I realized what I've always wanted was simple: to be a wife, a mom and happy. So, I've fulfilled that criteria and am pretty settled. I'm not good with change and vicious, cut-throat competition or corporate life. I like comfort and stability. I'm fortunate enough that my job is not so demanding or constricting that I get miserable. But, I am also glad not to stay home all day with the kids - I really like what the day care offers my kids (routine, schedules, learning, socialization) and I like what I get from my work (adult interaction, brain function utilization, but with the flexibility of still having a life and supporting a family.) [not to say SAHM don't use their brains daily!!]
Pretty lame, right? But, it's really not that I have this Utopian life; I'm just comfortable and don't have the motivation to put forth the effort to choose a different path - even in my fantasy world!
But, here's a taste of some of the things I had been thinking, but just didn't seem to measure up or really ignite any fire inside (I seemed to have a voice inside me that piped up with negatives for everything!) before I came to the realization that I was struggling because I was trying to come up with something different than what I have already:
I thought I'd want to possibly sing or do something musical - that's always been a skill I admired in others and desired for myself. But, after reading Ashley's awesome post and experiencing her raw emotions and deep-seated passion, I feel my wimpy, "yeah, I wish I could do 'something musical'" definitely pales in comparison and seems feeble and unworthy. Plus, I don't really want all the fame and traveling and touring that comes with it. Ashley has been in theatre and knows the rush of being on stage, but I shy away from the spotlight, big time! I've been signing my name over 700 times the past few days on a mass mailing we are sending out, so I'm quite content not to have to sign autographs on a regular basis!
It would be great to be a writer. If I could write, that is. But, the pressures of having to write and meet deadlines and constantly be critiqued would not be so great.
I always contemplated going into the medical field as well. A lot of work, a lot of hours, a lot of blood and yuckiness.
Many people have thought I'd end up teaching, and I've considered it. I've even thought about how, if I lost my job somehow, I'd probably apply at the day care right away. I think I'd enjoy it and be good at it and really take an interest in the kids, but again, I'd want to selfishly be spending that time with my own kids! And not use up my precious store of patience on someone else's child!
It'd be great to be an artist - maybe even a kid's artist and have my stuff sell in like Pottery Barn where I'd definitely be turning a profit, but someone more obscure and unique as well! There's more anonymity in that profession that the rock star route.
I love pictures and photography would definitely be something I'd love to know more about and be more skilled at and could see myself wanting to make something out of that interest.
There was a time, during and right out of college before I went into the "real world" and had to have a "real job" for the rest of my life, I really wanted to be a waitress or bartender (not that these aren't "real jobs" they just weren't what I was going to school to do, so they weren't in my chosen path), just to have had the experience of dealing with people like that and it felt like a rite of passage or something that so many people have gone through that I hadn't.
Once again, perhaps I should just desire to grow up and be able to make a damn decision. Enjoy your mixed drinks, with a splash of this thought and a dash of that run-on sentence, served up weekly by your friendly, but ever indecisive bartender.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Cold ones from my youth, oh so long ago 4:49 PM
I caught a glimpse of previews claiming "America's favorite zip code returns this summer: 90210" I refused to let myself get too excited thinking it might really be a new show, but was most likely just that the reruns were coming to the cw. However, my co-worker informed me it was a real show and that Kelly is actually coming back, as herself, playing a counselor! How sad is it that I'm really stoked and hope it's good?! Apparently, it's coming this fall, not summer and I'm not sure if I'm as excited reading about it; hopefully the reality isn't a disappointment, but for now, I'm excited about the potential!
When You've Had One Too Many... 10:00 AM
Before your trip to Target and forget, despite the item being at the top of your list, CARAMEL, here is another bar cookie recipe you can use in your drunken state of emergency. Chocolate-in-Oatmeal Bars are fairly similar to the oh-so-tasty Caramel Bars, which I was attempting to make for the second time, but they are a bit quicker and use fewer ingredients. Simple baking for the Smartini-sipping cook. And also a personal favorite from childhood.
Chocolate-In-Oatmeal Bars
from Pen's mom's kitchen
3/4 cup butter or margarine
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups flour
1 cup oatmeal
14-oz. can sweetened condensed milk
1 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
Cream butter with brown sugar and salt. Blend in flour and oatmeal until particles are fine. Press 2/3 of crumb mixture into a 13x9-inch pan. Heat condensed milk (if you reach for the evaporated, ladies, put DOWN the liquor) in a small saucepan over medium-low heat. Stir in chocolate chips until completely melted, and then add the nuts. Spread evenly over oatmeal mixture in pan. Sprinkle with remaining crumbs; press down lightly. Bake at 350 for 25 to 30 minutes, or until light golden brown. And that's it, you're done!
Chocolate-In-Oatmeal Bars
from Pen's mom's kitchen
3/4 cup butter or margarine
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups flour
1 cup oatmeal
14-oz. can sweetened condensed milk
1 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
Cream butter with brown sugar and salt. Blend in flour and oatmeal until particles are fine. Press 2/3 of crumb mixture into a 13x9-inch pan. Heat condensed milk (if you reach for the evaporated, ladies, put DOWN the liquor) in a small saucepan over medium-low heat. Stir in chocolate chips until completely melted, and then add the nuts. Spread evenly over oatmeal mixture in pan. Sprinkle with remaining crumbs; press down lightly. Bake at 350 for 25 to 30 minutes, or until light golden brown. And that's it, you're done!
How Will I Afford My Rock 'n Roll Lifestyle? 7:28 AM
I wanna be a rock star. I want to be able to play both piano and lead guitar because, even though the drums are cool, everyone knows it's the one at the front mic who gets all the groupies. I want to write songs that wrap up words and music into this perfect raw package that makes kids doodle the lyrics on the front of their notebooks and put them on the ultimate mixed tape. I want to be on a countdown with one of the songs that defined a generation - the kind that you just remember where you were when you first heard it and who you were with and who you were dating and what was going on in the world and whether or not it was a sunny day.I want to stand on the stage at Red Rocks, at Madison Square Gardens, at the Fox, and feel the music surge through my fingers to the keys or the strings. I want the lights to make me sweat. I want the energy of the crowd to make me lightheaded. I want to stand up there and sing with a big powerful throaty voice and hold the note until they scream and just feel everything. I want to do not one, but two encores. The first one acoustic and soft and the second one with the full band and just jam. Just play the crap out of it until the fans walk away going, "That was a show."
I want to walk the red carpet in Roberto Cavalli and Valentino and wear borrowed jewelry from Harry Winston. I want to give an acceptance speech that I pretend not to have prepared. I want to thank my mom and dad. I want to give a shout out to the fans. I want to be one of People's 50 Most Intriguing.
I want to be a rockstar. I want to write the music and play it with feeling and belt it out from the bottom of my soul. I want the single spotlight, holding the note until the whole arena goes silent and it reverberates through the cool night air and punctuates that perfect moment before the crowd erupts into cheers and whistles and shouts and hysterical fandom mania, and I step back from the mic in my leather pants and fab top and take a bow - perched precariously on my Christian Louboutins.
That would rock.
While You Were at the Bar 5/20 6:00 AM
We dreamt of being barmaids way back when.
News you can use:
Word of the day:
slugabed: one who stays in bed until a late hour
Wait a minute, let me correct my weekly special post: I would like to be a slugabed when I grow up.
News you can use:
Google has unveiled its newest service, Google Health. It's a health information service that will contain users' health records and histories and offers various components to assist users with their health matters. The service will gather information about the user's health conditions, help them find a doctor or specialist and even remind them when to take their medicine.
Hillary Clinton cautions Barack Obama against performing a 'victory lap' after the primaries today in Kentucky and Oregon. Obama will most likely garner enough delegates to reach a majority tomorrow. He will still be shy of the total number required to secure the nomination, so it's purely a symbolic milestone.
Jon Lester, 24, of the Boston Red Sox pitched a no hitter Monday night against the Kansas City Royals. It was Lester's first full game in the major leagues and what a way to do it!
News you can lose:
Tom Cruise is going the let loose of Katie Holms long enough to let her appear on Broadway in Arthur Miller's 'All My Sons'. Maybe while she's in NYC she will come to her senses and flee from her nut job husband?Word of the day:
slugabed: one who stays in bed until a late hour
Wait a minute, let me correct my weekly special post: I would like to be a slugabed when I grow up.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Pick up lines 10:59 PM
I occasionally watch Doug Wilson's Moving Up on TLC. The show chronicles 3 couples as they move up and renovate and redecorate their new homes. Then, the previous owners come back to see the changes. The episode I watched the other week had some interesting quotes - at least I found them amusing:
The original homeowners (who were a lesbian couple) describing their bland bedroom before they move: "I think this bedroom can be very romantic. In fact, I installed a dimmer switch." oooh, wow, if that doesn't scream romance!
[The same couple changed the dining room in their new home into a pool room and Doug walks through the home to see the changes before bringing the original owners back to see them]
Doug: This is a very masculine room.
after a long pause, couple replies: "I don't know how to respond to that, Doug. Just because it has balls in it, doesn't make it masculine."
When the previous homeowners come back to see the house, they are saddened by the changes made to modernize the old brick fireplace and went on and on: "We always loved the fireplace. It looked great at Christmas, you hang your stocking and put a wreath up, where are they going to put a wreath?"
The lesbian couple watching the previous homeowners come through and critique their changes, laughing replies: "I'm a Jew! " classic. they couldn't have scripted this stuff, I tell you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another quote I liked from a recent episode of Moonlight:
The main character (a vampire Private Investigator) asks the female protagonist "should I be jealous?" and she immediately and coyly replies "Of course. Whether I'm attracted to him or not, the fact that you are jealous makes me feel desirable."
I thought that was a great response.
The original homeowners (who were a lesbian couple) describing their bland bedroom before they move: "I think this bedroom can be very romantic. In fact, I installed a dimmer switch." oooh, wow, if that doesn't scream romance!
[The same couple changed the dining room in their new home into a pool room and Doug walks through the home to see the changes before bringing the original owners back to see them]
Doug: This is a very masculine room.
after a long pause, couple replies: "I don't know how to respond to that, Doug. Just because it has balls in it, doesn't make it masculine."
When the previous homeowners come back to see the house, they are saddened by the changes made to modernize the old brick fireplace and went on and on: "We always loved the fireplace. It looked great at Christmas, you hang your stocking and put a wreath up, where are they going to put a wreath?"
The lesbian couple watching the previous homeowners come through and critique their changes, laughing replies: "I'm a Jew! " classic. they couldn't have scripted this stuff, I tell you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another quote I liked from a recent episode of Moonlight:
The main character (a vampire Private Investigator) asks the female protagonist "should I be jealous?" and she immediately and coyly replies "Of course. Whether I'm attracted to him or not, the fact that you are jealous makes me feel desirable."
I thought that was a great response.
Weekly Special Leftovers 10:07 PM
This is Chuck Wicks. Apparently, he sings country music, as I first viewed a photo of him while browsing through some of the bad fashion and hungry starlets that hit the red carpet at last night's Country Music Awards. I don't really like "today's country" - I like my Cash and Haggard and Hank (Sr., thank you very much) - but I might change my views on "today's country" if it looks like this.
Helllloooo, Chuck. I hope that last one is taken at the Smartini Bar. And I hope he's at my table cause that is one long, tall drink of water. Make it a double. Rawr. Once boy crazy, always boy crazy.
Helllloooo, Chuck. I hope that last one is taken at the Smartini Bar. And I hope he's at my table cause that is one long, tall drink of water. Make it a double. Rawr. Once boy crazy, always boy crazy.
I Wished I Was Riding Dirty 7:33 AM
The Weekly Special this week is all about what job we would like to do if there were no obstacles in our path. Plenty of money at my disposal, no existing obligations or hang ups. (This could prove rather difficult for me since I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. That has come to be a bit of a problem for a gal fighting off 30 with both fists!)
At first the connection was drawn to what my dreams were as a child, what I most wanted to be when I grew up. Weeeell, that doesn't apply so much now... Mostly because back w
hen I was a wee one, what I most wanted to do when I grew up was to be the trash man that got to ride on the back of the truck. Fun, right?! Probably still fun, but maybe a little more stinky than I would prefer. At one point when I was a little older I decided that I was going to be a pediatrician. I think I just grabbed that one out of thin air and since my mom jumped right on board, I went with it.
hen I was a wee one, what I most wanted to do when I grew up was to be the trash man that got to ride on the back of the truck. Fun, right?! Probably still fun, but maybe a little more stinky than I would prefer. At one point when I was a little older I decided that I was going to be a pediatrician. I think I just grabbed that one out of thin air and since my mom jumped right on board, I went with it.At some point I dropped the pediatrician facade and moved on to... uncertainty. Sometimes that lack of direction has driven me insane, but I think ultimately it has allowed me to look around and peek into a variety of options. Most notably would be motherhood. I can only assume that if I were pursuing med school right now (sorry, Mom) I would not have either of my children. Having my girls has given me reason to rethink my direction and how I define my purpose. If money and sanity were not a factor, I would choose to stay at home with my kids.
I thoroughly enjoy teaching them new things and seeing them discover and explore. I would love to have a play room in our house that had fantastic teaching tools and materials and would stimulate them t
o think, imagine, create and learn. We would spend lots of our time outside, away from the television, with a variety of animals and plants. We would routinely go to play dates where the girls could socialize with other kids and us moms could be catty and discuss the latest celebrity faux pas and have a glass of wine. Glasses of wine, perhaps. (This is all in a perfect world, mind you, which would require that I don't climb the walls with my four year old's in.cess.ant talking or the baby's refusal to take a nap.)
o think, imagine, create and learn. We would spend lots of our time outside, away from the television, with a variety of animals and plants. We would routinely go to play dates where the girls could socialize with other kids and us moms could be catty and discuss the latest celebrity faux pas and have a glass of wine. Glasses of wine, perhaps. (This is all in a perfect world, mind you, which would require that I don't climb the walls with my four year old's in.cess.ant talking or the baby's refusal to take a nap.)Having said all that, and knowing that I would have a very hard time maintaining the patien
ce required to be sweet and chipper and teacher-esque after the forty millionth 'Mama?' in a row, I may opt for another avenue. The co-owner of a bad ass ranch/horse breeding facility. Hell yeah. In our dreams upon dreams David and I would like to own our own place, run cattle and breed and train horses. Since I've got fat cash at my 
disposal and we could buy one hell of a place, I would like to spend half of my days working at the Headquarters. No boss, no daily grind and no dress code would be nice. I would be the office guru doing what comes easy, chatting up customers doing what comes naturally and pitching in around the place doing what comes with good intentions (whether it be with skill or not). The other half of my day would be with the girls, combining my two dreams. Surely there would be plenty of teaching moments at the ranch and I could maintain my sanity with just half a day's worth of 'Why?' I would get to spend more time with David (this is my dream, remember, not his ;) ), as would the girls. Aww, wouldn't we be the cutest family ever?
ce required to be sweet and chipper and teacher-esque after the forty millionth 'Mama?' in a row, I may opt for another avenue. The co-owner of a bad ass ranch/horse breeding facility. Hell yeah. In our dreams upon dreams David and I would like to own our own place, run cattle and breed and train horses. Since I've got fat cash at my 
disposal and we could buy one hell of a place, I would like to spend half of my days working at the Headquarters. No boss, no daily grind and no dress code would be nice. I would be the office guru doing what comes easy, chatting up customers doing what comes naturally and pitching in around the place doing what comes with good intentions (whether it be with skill or not). The other half of my day would be with the girls, combining my two dreams. Surely there would be plenty of teaching moments at the ranch and I could maintain my sanity with just half a day's worth of 'Why?' I would get to spend more time with David (this is my dream, remember, not his ;) ), as would the girls. Aww, wouldn't we be the cutest family ever?The best part about this whole deal is that the only thing keeping me from my goal is money. And as soon as we find it, you know where I'll be: buying a ranch. And a garbage truck. Some dreams never die...
